Petra Sections Additions and Changes (Light Novel Volume 40)

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Original Machine Translation by:

• Goldkills

Original Proofreaders:

• Phantaminum
• Cirdan Lunae

Original Japanese to English Checking By:

• Garcar
• Vinicaian

Additions and Changes by:

• Goldkills
• Cirdan Lunae

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Chapter 16

――The first feeling of “that”, was something akin to having a nightmare whilst fully awake.

???: [Bbh, bhbb, bbbbb…]

A sensation akin to rejecting understanding, stemming not from the head, but from the soul.

A sensation that felt as if “what laid before” had been severed like a taut thread being cut; wholly separated from their current self it was, and yet, while the body accepted it, the soul would not.

The nightmare, it persisted.

Something made its way into the body through the mouth that had opened for the purpose of raising a scream, and due to the contents of their body being gorged upon from within there was an unbearable sense of loss, an impossible sense of finality, an impermissible sense of desecration.

The feeling of one’s own existence being devoured, who, just who could possibly endure that?

Yellow bile spilled from the corners of their mouth as they convulsed on the cold, hard ground.

That dimly-lit space, a place so incongruous for the start of a life, was testament to the fact that a soul tattered in torment by a never-ending nightmare had already been through this many times before――,

――Why.

Such a question, was birthed in their mind.

Towards outrageousness, towards absurdity, towards unthinkable misfortune, towards reasonless malice, towards unforgivable threats, towards a vicious cycle unending, a query of “For what reason”, was posed.

――Why, why, why, why, why.

For what reason must they be made to go through something like this? Had they committed anything evil to such an extent? Was the size of their sin so great as to warrant receiving this manner of punishment?

If this erring had been irreversible, then before accreting it to this extent and patching together retribution to the point of drowning in it, it would have been preferable had they been left to start atoning.

And yet, “for what reason” must it be so?

――Why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why.

To that unceasing question――,

???: [You are invited―― To the Witch’s tea party.]

A voice pregnant with such rapture, as if a blessing, as if a curse, was spoken.

 

Chapter 17

――A white table and a parasol were placed atop a small hill of lush, verdant grass.

A clear blue sky, black hair swaying in a gentle breeze. They found themself sitting in a chair, checking the feel of it, and across the white table, a Witch of black and white sat across from them.

In such a space, where all was vividly colored, she alone was an abnormal entity which did not seem to belong. Her appearance, akin to a beautiful sculpture of snow, was naught but the manner of papier-mâché. ――Such was the dishonest impression evoked by this individual.

???: [――Echidna, how much do you know about my situation?]

――A query.

What was sought was an answer to clarify the doubts that had arisen.

Echidna: [What I know is how much I wish to know about you. And how much I wish to know is all there is to know in the entire world.]

A response.

One that could not be declared an answer regarding the doubts that had arisen.

With vexation towards the feeling that their question had been sidestepped, they suppressed the urge to vent their dissatisfaction regarding the events that had just transpired, to see beyond the doubts that had arisen.

And likewise contained within, was merely a pinch of “their” perspective as an onlooker.

???: [――You have the power to see my memories. So, you don’t think this situation’s strange.]

Impatience and impulse were deliberately mistaken for courage, used as a provocation to propel the conversation forward.

Atop the hill, standing opposite a young woman proclaiming herself an evil Witch, once again were they assailed by an enigmatic sensation that had first caused their doubts. ――Indeed, once again, they were.

Again, and again and again and again, that had been the case.

Always, without fail, no matter the situation, each and every event had been a sequence of the inexplicable and the absurd. Faced with all that, they clenched their teeth, earnestly they raised their visage, and continued to struggle onward.

――They had continued to struggle on, giving of themself.

Echidna: [Why not try it and see?]

――Please, stop.

――Please, I’m begging you, stop. Don’t let them say what comes next. Don’t let them say it.

Echidna: [To try, in hopes of a result, is an action worthy of praise.. We only covet that which has value.]

――Please, stop. Please, stop. I’m begging you, please, stop.

――Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.

――Stop.

???: [Echidna. I can Return by―― Death.]

――Please, don’t suffer.

???: [When, when I die, I go back in time, and I restart the world. I return by Death.]

――Please, don’t cry.

???: [I! Return by Death! Return by Death! Return by Death! Return by Death!!]

――Please, don’t laugh.

???: [I’ve! Returned by Death! Over, and over, I die and restart! I! Return by Death…]

――Please, don’t be afraid.

???: [I…! Return by Death, starting things over, over and over…!]

――Please, don’t get hurt.

???: [All this time… I’ve…!]

――Please, don’t forgive.

???: [I…!!]

――Please, please, please, please, please, please, please, I’m begging you.

Echidna: [――I know.]

――I’m begging you, please, stop.

Echidna: [――I am Echidna, the Witch of Greed, she who craves all knowledge of this world.]

――I’m begging you, so please, you must not help this person

 

Chapter 18

――They recounted their lonely struggles, their days of ineradicable remorse.

A tale pertaining to their past, one that they had decided ought not be treated without the utmost respect, gravity, and caution.

Even after letting it all out, their never-let-go and forward-facing mindset was ephemeral.

Echidna: [Last time, I forbade you from speaking of the tea party. This time, you desire that I unbind you from that vow, and I have given you a warm reception in other ways still. I must receive appropriate compensation.]

They could not help but detest the Witch who expressed the price for leaving this dream world as thus.

With a trace of their red tongue, with a hint of mischief hanging in the air, that vacuous beauty toyed with them, seemingly scheming to guide them as per their will.

Echidna: [I really had my eye on that one, but I suppose this will do?]

The first time, she had demanded that they forget, but what would she decree for this second time?

As if to mock them, as they involuntarily stiffened, the Witch, who exuded the faint fragrance of flowers, brought her fingers to a white handkerchief that fluttered in the wind.

――It was embroidered with a Great Spirit in the form of a gray cat, with gold linings around the white fabric, an item that the observing “self” had given him as a prayer for safety

???: [A wish, in the handkerchief?]

To scream out “Stop!” until their throat tore itself apart, they wished.

To scream out “Stop!” until their throat tore itself apart, no throat to do so could be found.

They wanted to throw themselves in front of the terrifying Witch and shout, “Stop!”.

There was nobody there to stand in front of the terrifying Witch and yell, “Stop!”.

Ergo, no matter how much they attempted to shout “Stop, stop it!” in their heart, no matter how much their soul attempted to step in, they could not stop them.

Echidna: [With this, I have collected my compensation. There is a new vow between us. Do not forget this!]

The value of the payment was expressed, and a slight sense of relief and happiness grew.

More than feeling triumphant that “they” had been the one to have led to that, they were far, far, far, far more terrified that the Witch had taken an interest in them.

Just what their own “self” had become a part of, they knew not.

???: […So Echidna kept her promise, huh? For a Witch, she really doesn’t seem that bad.]

The dream world was enveloped by a white light, and they returned from the illusion to a dark, cold space.

Returning to the location where they again had met the Witch―― something odd, they noticed.

???: [Emilia had to have been the one who… woke me up, but…]

Their heart growing restless by her absence when she ought to have been present, they were filled with a sense of unease.

An overflowing sense of anxiety and a sense of incongruity seemed to seep out, as for one who had been forced to repeat this over and over again, it was a deviation from a base principle, a deviation that should not exist.

Driven by a sense of foreboding welling up from within, they hurriedly left the Tomb.

And as soon as they stepped outside the Tomb and into the moonlight, what they saw was――,

???: [――A, shadow?]

The Sanctuary, shrouded in the darkest of blacks, a tonality mark of a Witch even more terrifying than the Witch who had created said place.

No matter how much they shouted “Stop!”, how much they rejected it, how much they cried, how much they resisted, it would not draw to a close.

After all, this was the history of his unerasable path, that he had certainly tread.

――Amidst all that, did “I” contribute something?

 

Chapter 19

???: [――I love you.]

The world being painted over through the power of those non-superficial words of love, they heard.

But in truth, that did not mean that “sound” was being produced.

The sound of something cracking, the sound of something being shattered, the sound of something being shredded, the sound of something being broken, the sound of something being sliced open, the sound of something being crushed, the sound of something being pulverized, the sound of something being smashed, the sound of something being pierced, the sound of something being hurled downward, the sound of something――.

???: [――I love you, I love you, I love you.]

But in truth, that did not mean that “sound” was being produced.

Rather, it was as an illusionary “sound”, that of all being lost; this affection, presented by the sable shadow, transgressed against the soul at the nexus of this world to such a degree.

A world, where everything was consumed.

A world, where everything would never-endingly descend into a darkness unfathomable.

There, amidst the deep, seemingly boundless darkness, a soul realized that everything, both important and unimportant, had been dissolved.

And yet――,

Was it because they were weak, that they did not wish to admit it? ――No, it was because they were kind.

Was it because they were weak, that they could not give up? ――No, it was because they were kind.

Was it because they were weak, that they could not refuse love? ――No, it was because they were kind.

???: [――I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you.]

To those whispers of love, they raised their voice, rejecting it with everything they had.

But, they understood. They very much understood. That even rejecting it with everything they had, would not be able to turn it away completely.

???: [I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you.]

There, a glimpse of a possibility was caught.

With the first, second, and third places in that person’s heart having been taken entirely, a glimpse would still be attainable nonetheless.

For the cowardly, for the despicable love that sought to take advantage of this, they felt no sympathy.

The consequence of such conceit was, inevitably――,

???: [I love you. I love you―― Love me.]

――There it was.

???: [Love me. Love me. Love me. Love me. Love me love me love me love me love me love me love me love me love me love me love me love me love me love me love me love me love me love me love me love me love me love me love me love me love me love me love me love me love me love me love me love me love me love me love me love me love me love me love me love me love me love me love me love me love me love me love me love me love me love me love me love me love me love me―― Love me.]

They knew this would happen.

It was as clear as day. It was like stealing from a baby. It was easier than crushing a tometo, opening closed eyelids, or even breathing in and out.

They knew this would happen.

Because it was not for that other person’s sake. Because it was for their own.

If one did not have to consider the feelings of others, able to fill one’s heart and mind with only their thoughts and feelings, then naturally that would happen.

That was by far the most disgraceful aspect of it all, disgraceful to the point the shame would make one’s face burn.

???: [I, hate you.]

――They felt as if their heart was going to freeze.

???: [I am never, going to love you.]

――It was as if it was being said to them and not to anyone else, and they felt they were going to die.

However, even that fear of death was much, much, much, much, much, much better than what was behind waiting for them.

After all――,

???: […Petra’s handkerchief.]

――They were convinced that the time had finally come, and that the noose was to be slipped around their neck.

 

Chapter 20

A streak of light pierced the pitch-blackness, and a flicker of hope filled their heart.

The inevitable end that loomed just ahead felt like it could be resisted, pushed away, escaped, which filled their heart with hope.

However, that’s wrong, you are not that strong.

I had thought, I knew that you weren’t strong. ―― I really did.

Without knowing anything about the truth, I just kept pecking away at the seconds you gave me, like a baby bird begging for food, without realizing what was being sacrificed for each second.

???: [――!]

Your excited heart beat violently as if you were doused with cold water.

From behind the veil as black as darkness itself, a face that should not have been seen peeked through.

Long eyelashes, beautiful amethyst eyes, well-shaped features, pale pink lips, she was so lovely.

Behind that veil, a face that should have been the most detestable was the same as the most beloved.

With that moment of hesitation, their freedom was stripped away, and even their soul was trapped in a cage of eternal obsession.

The way to reject it is in your hand, that white piece of cloth wrapped in light.

Stop! I yelled, the strongest I ever have.

Make them stop! I implored, the strongest I ever have.

Make it all stop! I begged, the strongest I ever have.

All of it was too late, all of it was beyond my control, all of it was――,

???: [I, no matter what――]

――Will definitely save you.

With that determination and vow within your heart―― “I” killed you, Natsuki Subaru.