Arc 5, Chapter 36 – “The Beginning and the Conclusion of Love”

 

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All rights belong to Tappei Nagatsuki, the original author of the Re:Zero series. This is an English translation of the free web novel which is available at:

http://ncode.syosetu.com/N2267BE/

Translated by:

• Nanashi-tan
• Phantaminum

Proofread by:

• Phantaminum
• SSCaide

Art Source:

• OWARI

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Behind him was a room full of gigantic flies. Subaru and Crusch had defeated the black dragon, and it now lay motionless on the ground outside.

And yet, in front of Subaru was a girl, laughing as she repeatedly dug her foot into Crusch.

Sinister laughter, a sardonic tone. The person in front of him was undoubtedly Capella Emerada Lugunica, the Witch Cult’s Sin Archbishop of Lust.

——His entire body started going haywire.

Subaru: [What, what is this…?]

Capella: [Do you actually have to take the time to think about it? You scum shouldn’t worry about such things—— the best choice for you is to recognize the reality before you! You saw a beautiful maiden shaking with fear! But in reality, it was a Sin Archbishop of the Witch Cult, tadaaaaa~!]

As Subaru’s mind raced, Capella danced around, sticking her mocking tongue out at Subaru. Under her feet, Crusch’s eyes rolled back, vomiting profuse amounts of blood.

Although no trauma was visible, it was plain to see that she had suffered a life-threatening injury. With the only person in their group able to use healing magic, Garfiel, far from them, the current situation was the worst of scenarios.

Capella: [Didn’t you find it strange at all? Here, at the City Hall, where the city is managed, why would there be a child meat? But your first reaction was doubtlessly “Ah, this kid is in danger, I have to save her…”, no? What a disappointingly stupid train of thought!]

Subaru: [S-shut up, already. There’s plenty I’d like to say but first, move your damn foot.]

Capella: [Hmm? Are you so captivated by my beautiful legs that you’re dripping already~? Or are you thinking of this female meat that’s desperately licking my feet? Indeed, she has a lovely body, are you trying so hard that you can’t restrain yourself right now? Gahahahaha!]

Subaru: [——! You bitch! Bastard, we’re not just creatures for you to tread on!]

Capella wore an ecstatic expression as her heel was driven into Crusch’s sternum again and again. In response to her atrocious actions and ridicule, Subaru’s veins boiled with rage.

His lower body tensed, ready to move forward. Capella, who had provoked Subaru, seemed to welcome an attack. However, Subaru was not so foolish as to blindly rush forward.

Even without her memory, Crusch was a fearsome warrior. Wilhelm had vouched for her strength, allowing her to partake in this battle. And yet, in the span of just a few seconds without Subaru’s sight focused on her, she had lost without posing any resistance.

There was no doubt that Lust’s strength was undoubtedly far above Subaru’s. Therefore, Subaru needed to solve the situation without engaging her in combat.

Subaru: [————]

Crusch, whose very life was in danger, needed to be saved immediately and taken to Julius and the others.

It was up to him to engineer an escape, abandoning their mission in the process. That was of the utmost priority. Even though they would fail to stop the broadcast, that mission was not as important as their lives. And they also had not found the people who they should be rescuing, at least not on this floor.

His only conclusion was that they did not possess enough martial strength to retake the city in secrecy.

Therefore, Subaru could not hesitate.

Capella: [Huh?]

Subaru: [Haa!]

Capella exhaled, slightly surprised by Subaru’s sudden action.

The target of Subaru’s whip was not Capella, but a shelf running along the wall to the side. He found a metal bust, large enough to be embraced by two arms, and wrapped in it his whip, deftly flicking his wrist and throwing it towards Capella.

Subaru now wielded a high-speed metal whirlwind as weapon. And he now held much more power, enough to open a hole in the wall. Whether to block or evade, she would need to remove her foot from Crusch.

Subaru would take advantage of that moment to retrieve her.

Subaru: [Take that!]

Capella: [I will~.]

Subaru: [Huh!?]

In contrast to the Subaru’s spirited shout, Capella responded with casual words.

Immediately after, the sound of a hard object encountering bones and flesh was accompanied by blood spurting forth from Capella’s forehead, which had been torn almost completely apart. She had not even bothered to protect herself. The inside of her scalp was visible, and blood stained her cheeks.

Subaru could no longer bear to look at what had originally been such a cute face. Her left eye had been half-destroyed, and its light had vanished, but it nonetheless remained fixed on him. This unexpected situation left Subaru’s mind momentarily blank.

His action had been intended to distract his enemy, but he had been caught off guard instead—— and a Sin Archbishop certainly would not let that moment go.

Capella: [Why do you people feel like playing into the palm of my hands so adorably? I wuuuuv~ that kind of hopeless stupidity. Gahahahaha!]

Capella’s ridicule slipped into Subaru’s frozen thoughts. The girl turned to face the still rigid Subaru and, in the next moment, a gust of a black whirlwind hit him, abruptly sending him flying.

Subaru: [Gah!]

As if he had been smacked by a giant, his right half took a heavy blow, and Subaru was knocked into a table, before rolling to the ground. His entire body was shook, and he dizzily climbed to his feet, supporting himself against the wall. What he saw next was——

Capella: [What’s wrong? Are you so stunned by my beauty that you can’t even move?]

Subaru: [——What… the fuck is that?]

Capella: [You actually have to ask? Just use your eyes for once~!]

Capella happily shook her hips in a dance, and Subaru was unable to even articulate a cry of anguish.

The girl’s short skirt swayed, and protruding from its hem—— was a dragon’s tail, thick and black, which had just been used to attack Subaru. The disconcerting appearance of a petite girl spliced with the mighty tail of a dragon imprinted itself upon Subaru’s consciousness.

What would a person even have to say about that?

Subaru: [Could you be… a human that can transform into a dragon?]

Capella: [Correct! Your hopeless brain couldn’t even realize the truth upon impact! Even after this gentle lady had given you so many hints here and there, you still couldn’t reach it, you helpless scummy meat.]

Subaru: [——!]

Capella waved her tail lightly as Subaru took in her physiology and identity. Her long tail slammed from overhead, and the ground cracked as Subaru barely threw himself aside in time. But――

Capella: [Being relieved is quite naïve of you~.]

Subaru: [Ugh! Waaaaaaah!]

However, as he prepared to pull himself to his feet, Subaru was hit by her gigantic left fist. As he bounced away, he took another hit from the dragon tail awaiting him, and after a violent impact with the ceiling, was slashed by razor-sharp feathers, finally coming to a stop on the ground.

Coughing violently as the impact sent him rolling across the floor, he witnessed the true face of the terror that had assaulted him.

Where before there had only been a black tail, now there was a fist covered in bestial hair. Then came the black tail from before, and finally, a pair of bird wings, with feathers sharp enough to slash across Subaru’s body—— And these all belonged to that young girl’s form.

Capella: [You should have just about figured the answer out, right~?]

“Alien” was the only word that came to mind.

A dragon’s tail, a beast’s arm, the wings of a great bird, all perfectly fused to a human girl’s body. He could not think of any other suitable words to describe her. Other than words, a sense of physical aversion rose upon gazing at this creature that should not exist.

He could feel nothing but a sense of disgust toward the monster in front of him.

Subaru: [Variation, transformation…]

Capella: [I’m the Sin Archbishop of Lust, Capella Emerada Lugunica. All the love and respect in this world exists to be monopolized by myself alone. If someone loves me, no matter how abnormal their desire is, I’ll respond. In short, I’m the ultimate embodiment of all kinds of virtue and beauty in the world. Any girl matching your preferences, I can become. Hey, I’m a woman who does her best, aren’t I? Kahahahaha!]

While wantonly speaking nonsense, Capella turned to face Subaru and began to freely change her form.

She shifted from her abnormal shape back to the tiny girl, but her hands and feet and then immediately extended to become the curvy body of a grown woman. Just as Subaru realized this, she changed into a simple village girl, but, in the next moment has become a maiden with an innocent face and a lewd smile.

Capella: [Now, how do you like me?]

Subaru: [————]

Speechless. He was unable to say anything. One glance, and he realized that it was the worst possible situation.

She was a desecration of human values. Despite being so simple, straight-forward even, the Authority of Lust desecrated and trampled on all values, so that the holder would be the only loved thing in the world.

Looking at her, Subaru saw that the wound marring her face had been long healed, without any trace of the injury. Her terrible ability to regenerate—— or rather, her ability to transform, had long cured her old injuries.

In any case, the mystery of how the dragon had become a girl was solved. He had originally thought she was like Petelgeuse, able to possess the bodies of others, but, if that were not the case——

Subaru: [——Huh?]

If that were not the case, then what had happened with the dragon from earlier, and the flies inside the broadcast room?

Capella: [Have you finally realized it?]

Subaru: [Wait… Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait a second.]

As if she had read his innermost thoughts from his facial expression, Capella broke into raucous, mocking laughter.

She had become a graceful lady with long hair, and even the sound of her laughter changed as well. In this situation, where he was uncertain of even who he was speaking to, Subaru shook his head.

No way. It was impossible. It could not be true.

However, were he right, everything that had happened could now be explained.

Capella’s Authority of Lust allowed her to change and transform her own body. And if this ability of hers were effective on objects other than her physical body…

Capella: [Has your waterlogged brain finally realized the identity of those disgusting flies~?]

Subaru: [They… they’re…]

Capella: [Hmm, hmm, hurry and give your answer, and I’ll hear you out~. Gahahahahaha!]

Capella covered her mouth with her hand and laughed, loudly and proudly.

His heart of hearts unable to endure the horror, Subaru said in a trembling voice――

Subaru: [—―They’re… the people in this building, who you have transformed.]

Capella: [Correct~! But you were pretty slow, so no prizes~. I won’t complement you. Ah, pointless scum, what’s your defective brain even for~?]

Subaru: [That’s my line!]

Capella did not look remorseful about this brutal atrocity in the least.

Needless to say, she had just stuffed those people into a dark room. When their red compound eyes had fixed themselves on Subaru, their wings, which were not capable of flight, had been flapping desperately, issued a loud buzzing flutter.

——They must have been asking for his help then.

Subaru: [There’s something wrong with your head! Why… How could you do such a thing! Why would you do it? Turning people into flies… Why!?]

Capella: [It’s horrifying, right~?]

Subaru: [It’s beyond twisted! You… You, you…]

Capella: [Maybe it’s just because I can’t help but create disgusting creatures~?]

Again, Subaru could not find words to respond. With harsh breaths and clenched teeth, Subaru fixated on her with a fiery, intense gaze of hatred, his eyes blood-red from pure murderousness.

She would toy with the lives of others, even turning them into flies. Those atrocities were even worse than murder. Much worse.

In the past few hours, Subaru had successively encountered four Sin Archbishops who he had never met before.

Sirius of Wrath, a madwoman who manipulated the emotions of others and imposed selfish love.

Regulus of Greed, a villain who self-righteously and forcefully imposed his own values upon others.

Alphard of Gluttony, a blasphemer who stole people’s Memories and Names, a poison that eroded the natural course of human life.

And Capella of Lust, a monster who stripped away both human dignity and identity.

They were all hopeless, cursed with madness.

Capella: [————]

In contrast to Subaru, so enraged the blood vessel in his head were about to burst, Capella had settled into a bored silence. In the next second, she took on a mocking tone.

Washed over by Subaru’s anger, Capella spoke,

Capella: [——Indeed, it’s annoying and disgusting. That’s exactly why.]

Facing Subaru’s unbridled fury, Capella wore a more pleasant smile than before. She clapped her hands together, pointing to the room packed with flies.

Capella: [When you look at a room full of stupid giant flies, you get a horrible sense of physiological disgust, isn’t that right? Of course, that’s only natural. No matter who looks at those ugly creatures, they can’t help but want to run. They can’t stand it. That’s right.]

Subaru: [What… does that…]

Capella: [No matter who, everyone feels disgusted with that ugliness. And those scummy pieces of meat have become dreadful pieces of shit, looking beyond horrible. It’s a matter of course that no one would love them. That’s also natural.]

Subaru: [What!? What are you trying to say?]

Capella: [Human beings, however, are creatures that can’t live without loving or being loved. But when their loved ones have become such creatures, no matter how much they want to, they just can’t bring themselves to love them. In that case, they redirect their love to others. No matter how reluctant they are, they just can’t love anything dirty.]

His mind went blank.

Tilting her head slightly, she spoke her incomprehensible, monstrous words.

Listening to her clapping, Subaru was overtaken by a desire to escape. Now, immediately, without hesitating for even a second, he wanted to disappear to a place without this monster.

His body did not wish for those eyes to be fixed on him, his ears did not wish to hear that voice directed at him, his mind did not wish to remember that existence in his presence, all in a sense of physical disgust.

Was she not the embodiment of aversion—— of physiological, biological repulsiveness?

Something which he was genuinely unable to stand, was that not the definition of the horror that stood before him?

Capella: [So gentle and merciful, I really am the perfect woman. Since it was decided that I’d monopolize all the world’s love and respect, then I absolutely can’t slack on my duty. In order to be loved better, I’ll work hard to be loved, and change myself to suit your tastes. In order to capture your attention, I’ll take away everything you’re interested in. Everything but me. It doesn’t matter who you loved originally, you’ll choose me in the end. I’ll work hard to make that happen. I’ll improve improve increase perfect improve improve improve improve improve my own charm! And reduce reduce reduce reduce reduce reduce reduce the charm of the meats who aren’t me! Anyone, no matter who, would fall for this world’s most beautiful and charming me!]

Subaru: […Just, kill me already!]

Capella: [Why? I’m a philanthropist, how could I be so brutal as to kill you? Even if you’re worthless scum… if there’s a chance that you’ll love me, even if there’s a tiny, slight chance, for every single person, I’ll let them live even one more second if they’ll give me my due praise! Only those who are not able to do so will be killed! After all, Capella-sama is a commendable, most praiseworthy woman!]

Subaru: [————]

Subaru: [————]

Subaru: [————]

Subaru: [I see now.]

Capella: [Do you really? Well, now that you understand, quickly give your words of appreciation to Capella-sama. Let yourself be melted by Capella-sama’s love and become my favorite piece of meat…]

Subaru: [Fucking die.]

He could not think. But there was no need to think.

The enemy in front of him was truly the most vicious enemy. Everything other than that piece of knowledge was entirely unnecessary.

Subaru’s whip suddenly flew forward. The monster jerked backwards as her face was suddenly attacked, removing her foot from Crusch. Taking advantage of that opening, Subaru immediately moved, picking up Crusch.

Capella: [See, after all, male meat long for female meat, your fluids won’t stop leaking. Didn’t you deny it earlier? Didn’t you weave so many beautiful words? Don’t you like beautiful things? Don’t you like cute things? Don’t you like soft and comfortable things? Don’t bullshit me!]

Subaru: [——!]

Chasing Subaru, Capella spread her arms apart, while spitting spoken venom.

One hand turned into the head of a snake, while the other became the head of a lion—— those distorted heads chased Subaru, showing their canines as they prowled up and down the floor of the room.

Although his right foot had begun to bleed again, he still felt no pain. It did not matter anyway. Feeling the warmth and weight of the person in his arms, making every effort to protect the woman he carried, Subaru focused every last bit of his athletic ability on dodging Capella’s pursuit.

Capella: [Don’t you care so much for that scummy female meat? Then, for the rest of your short life, hold tightly and don’t let go! That tempting body! Those alluring eyes! Those sweet lips and the adorable voice that escapes them! That pleasant meat meat meat! Because she’s stimulating, you’re clinging so desperately to her, unable to let go? Die! Die! Go die! Go die right now!]

Subaru: [Don’t talk nonsense, bastard! I’m not that kind of person!]

Capella: [Shut the fuck up! Male scum should just obediently stay put and emanate the stench of rubbish! Female sows should obediently stay put and emanate the stench of an animal! Have you never thought of it? Can you honestly say that you’ve never thought of anything perverted for even a second? Doesn’t that one second mean it’s that kind of relationship between a male and a female meat? What’s the difference? What’s the difference!? Tell me what the difference is!]

The snake and lion writhed as if reflecting Capella’s excitement, twisting across the room. The sound rang out of teeth crunching and chewing on a wooden desk, disassembling its body, and finally sending its legs flying. That same force sought Subaru, trying again and again to reach him.

Caught in the center of that destructive storm, issuing a pained cry, Subaru guarded Crusch’s body as he desperately avoided those continuous attacks. Capella stood at the exit of the room. Even if he wanted to take the opportunity to escape, Capella’s body expanded and contracted, changing back and forth between women, girl, and child, in an anomaly that looked to be taboo.

Capella: [Don’t you want to stroke her hair? Don’t you want to brush her lips? Don’t you want to hold her body? Those cheap thoughts are always justified with beautiful words, with love as an excuse! Love is beautiful, isn’t that just a self-righteous justification? Aren’t you using beautiful words to cover up your desires?!]

Subaru: [——You!]

Capella: [Admit your Lust directly! Don’t try to hide it behind love! Or are you refusing to say it? Refuting what’s already been determined… Say it! I love her! I love her because of her own nature! Her nobility, her gentleness, her compassion, her temperance, her eyes that reflect the sky, her way of life that makes her willing to live for the sake of others, her strength to endure injustice, her vulnerability that she shows only to me, I don’t want to leave her alone. Her reassuring voice, her loving gaze, her compassionate eyes, her lips that call my name so gently, her warmth that grips both of my hands, her touch that rouses my heart, her beautiful hair swaying in the wind. Because fate brought us together, because I believe that only she would accept me, because she was always by my side when my heart was pained, because she has taught me so many important lessons, because we have been together for all, all, all of this time, I want to see and feel the same things that she does from now until forever. Because we promised, I swore to never forget that vow, because I find her different from all others, and only she knows who I truly am, because I can’t pretend to be something I am not in front of her. Because I was so lonely, I always wanted someone to understand me. Because you reminded me of those first feelings and taught me what it means to truly love someone. You were the one who wiped the tears from my face, you were the one who emerged from the boundless sea of people to find me, you were the one who hugged me tightly when I was about to break, you were the one who scolded me for my naivety for the first time, you were the one to scold me like no one had scolded me before, you were the one to speak to me in a way that did not patronize me, you were the one who took me to see so many sights I’d never seen before, you were the one who took my hand and led me out of my birdcage. No matter when, you support me, no matter what, you understand me. We’re meant to be together, always, I can’t live without you, you’re my everything, you love me because I love you too, because your chest is so warm, because with you, all of the colors of the world shine so brilliantly, I can’t feel happiness without you, I can’t live without you. In this world so filled with lies, only this is truth.]

With a still expression, Capella spit those words out as if they were curses.

As she spoke this long, touching confession, Capella’s face was intertwined with beauty, adoration, obscenity. And with an even more complex and strange expression――

Capella: [——All of them, all of them, all of them! Aren’t they just sweet nothings!]

Subaru: [————]

Capella: [Those are words only meant for comforting others, what’s the harm in removing them? Do they have any sincerity? Any character? They’re merely nauseating nonsense, how annoying! Acts! They’re nothing but acts! In truth, you’ve only been attracted by the appearance of that meat! If you really love those towards whom you speak affectionate words and share affectionate touches and pillow talk with, see what happens when they become a fly! Could you love them? Are you not afraid of them? Are you not disgusted? Of course you are! You’d feel nothing but disgust oozing from your every pore! Well? Think about what you’ve said!]

Insane verbal abuse, a delusion of victimization, jealousy, hate, self-obsession.

Spit splashing across the room, Capella lost control of herself as she hysterically destroyed the room.

The snake’s hiss, the lion’s roar, Capella’s cries, Subaru could not stand to listen to them any longer. The noise became like a storm, and the room began to collapse. No matter what he did, he could not see anything past the smoke.

Did he still have his feet on the ground? Was the right leg safe? The only thing he was certain of was the heartbeat of the woman in his arms, which continued to infuse Subaru with determination.

――But even such a fight would come to an end here.

Capella: [Hey, meat. I can see you!]

Subaru: [——Huh!?]

Breaking through the smoke, the lion’s head suddenly rushed in. Then the fangs snapped at Subaru’s right leg, which had already lost half of its flesh. And so, what was left of his leg below the thigh was torn off completely, blood spurting forth fiercely.

The injury had already directly exceeded the limits of Ferris’s healing ability, and Subaru’s mind began to boil as he struggled through the pain of losing his right leg. He issued a mute violent cry of agony, his throat unable to bear it.

Of course, he could not support his own body anymore.

As he collapsed, Crusch rolled onto the ground in front of him. And his blood began to overflow. That was no exaggeration. It looked as if a bucket of blood had been suddenly overturned. It was clear that Subaru’s life force was dwindling rapidly.

Capella: [Ah, what a headache. It seems that I couldn’t help but get excited—— how impolite of me. Kahahahaha!]

Subaru: [————]

Maintaining his position on the ground, Subaru stuck one convulsing hand to his wound.

Although the palm of his hand was blocking the wound, the momentum of the bleeding had not diminished. In fact, another feeling began to well up in Subaru’s body.

Soon, everything would end. This was the familiar feeling of death, which gradually approached Subaru.

In just a few hours, he had felt the pain of losing his right leg twice. His complexion transcended paleness to take on a yellow pallor, and his breathing sped up and up as his eyes grew bloodshot.

Capella: [Oh my, my, aren’t you about to die~? Watching the agony this piece of meat is in is particularly distressing for my compassionate self who feels for others.]

Subaru: [――Ah… Ah…]

Capella: [The piece of meat that you’ve been protecting is also going to die soon. It’s such a shame that I indulged in my hobby a little bit… and decided to see if she’ll lose to my blood… Oh, that’s right~.]

Capella squatted down, glancing at Subaru’s twisted, agonized face. Then the monster smiled and stretched a hand to the wound on his leg.

Capella: [I wonder what kind of unsightly meat you’ll become~?]

Subaru: […]

As she spoke, Capella turned her other hand into a blade, cutting into the hand that had been caressing Subaru’s wound until now. And, bit by bit, her blood dripped onto Subaru’s stump of a right leg. Black blood blended together with red blood, forming a rather indecent scene. And right after,

Subaru: [——!? Hah, ah ah ah ah ah!?]

Capella: [My blood is different from other people’s blood. After all, mine is mixed with dragon’s blood, which contains a great curse~. I wonder if you will last longer than that female meat~?]

Capella hummed happily, but Subaru could not form any kind of reply.

His entire being was already half-dead, and even his pain had become sluggish. Just a second before he died, the blood that had invaded his body via his right leg’s wound ravaged and eroded him.

As if a foreign body with self-awareness had entered his body, a fear of a much higher degree than that of a regional pain overtook Natsuki Subaru, as if attempting to completely rewrite his existence while merging with him.

Unable to understand, he was not allowed even the mercy of death.

And as that monster had said, Crusch was the same. She was suffering identical pain. If she had to endure such a pain, wouldn’t she be better off dead! Let us die! Let us die! Let me die! Let me die! Let me die! I don’t want to die!

Capella: [Gahahahaha! Well then, the invaders have been well taken care of. Well, it’s about time that I…]

After looking back and forth at Subaru and Crusch, collapsed in agony, Capella stood, satisfied. She reverted to the petite girl’s form, her tail vanishing as she headed toward the broadcast room, swaying her hips. Suddenly, she paused, as if noticing something.

Her gaze fell on the wall that had been destroyed by the black dragon which had served as a decoy.

Capella: [My, my, they were pretty decent after all~.]

???: [——!]

And, after having fallen from the building only a short while ago, the black dragon had crawled up from the side of the building. Seeing its enemy, it gave a deafening roar, before breathing a mouthful of black flames towards Capella.

——At that moment, the upper floor of the City Hall was engulfed by jet-black flames.