Arc 5 – Chapter 36, “The Beginning and the Conclusion of Love”

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All rights belong to Tappei Nagatsuki, the original author of the Re:Zero series. This is an English translation of the free web novel which is available at:

http://ncode.syosetu.com/N2267BE/

This is not a professional translation. Some mistakes, both grammatical and logical, are inevitable. Also, be advised that translators have a predisposition for personal preference and the names and terminology may differ at times from what was used in the anime or is used in the fandom at large. Think of these documents as an extremely
detailed “summary” (even though they basically include everything).

  • Credit to Discount Anon or u/Nanashi-tan.
  • Art Source

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Behind him was a room full of gigantic flies.

Subaru and Crusch had defeated the black dragon, and it now lay motionless on the ground outside. And yet, in front of Subaru was a laughing girl who repeatedly dug her foot into Crusch.

Sinister laughter, a sardonic tone. The person in front of him was undoubtedly Lust, Capella Emerada Lugunica.

— His entire body began to tingle.

Subaru: “What, what is this…?”

Capella: “Do you actually have to take time to think about it? You scum shouldn’t worry about such things— the best choice for you is to recognize the reality before you! You saw a beautiful maiden shaking with fear! But her true identity is an archbishop of the Witch Cult~!”

As Subaru’s mind raced, Capella danced around, sticking her mocking tongue out at Subaru. Crusch’s eyes rolled back as she was relentlessly attacked.

Capella: “Didn’t you find it strange at all? Here, at the City Hall, why would there be a child meat? But your first reaction was doubtlessly ‘Ah, this kid is in danger, I have to save her…’ What a disappointingly stupid train of thought!”

Subaru: “S-Shut up, already. There’s plenty I’d like to say but first, move your damn foot.”

Capella: “Hmm? Are you so captivated by my beautiful legs that you’re dripping already~? Or are you thinking of this sow that’s licking my feet? Indeed, she has a lovely body~. Are you trying so hard that you can’t restrain yourself right now? Gahahahaha!”

Subaru: “——! This bitch! Bastard, we’re not just creatures for you to tread on!”

Capella wore a ecstatic expression and her heel ravaged Crusch again and again. In response to her atrocious actions and ridicule, Subaru’s veins boiled with rage.

His lower body tensed, ready to move forward. Capella, who had provoked Subaru, seemed to welcome an attack. However, Subaru was not so foolish as to blindly rush forward.

Even without her memory, Crusch was a fearsome warrior.

Her strength had been vouched for by Wilhelm. And yet, in the few seconds that she’d vanished from Subaru’s sight, she’d lost without any resistance.

Lust’s strength was undoubtedly far above Subaru’s.

Subaru needed to solve the situation without engaging her in combat.

Subaru: “——”

Crusch, whose very life was in danger, needed to be immediately recovered and taken to Julius and the others.

It was up to him to engineer an escape, abandoning their mission in the process. Although they had failed to stop the broadcast, that mission wasn’t worth their lives.

And they also hadn’t found the people who they should be rescuing, at least not on this floor.

His only conclusion was that their reserve of combat power wasn’t enough to retake the city in secrecy.

Therefore, Subaru could not hesitate.

Capella: “Huh?”

Subaru: “Haa!”

Capella exhaled, slightly surprised by Subaru’s sudden action.

The target of Subaru’s whip was not Capella, but a shelf on the side wall. He found a metal bust, large enough to be embraced by two arms, and wrapped in it his whip, deftly flicking his wrist and bringing it toward Capella.

Subaru now wielded a high-speed metal whirlwind.

His weapon now had the power to open a seam in the wall. Whether to block or evade, she would need to remove her foot from Crusch.

Subaru would take advantage of that moment to retrieve her.

Subaru: “Take that!”

Capella: “I will~. ”

Subaru: “Huh?”

In contrast to the Subaru’s frenzied cries, Capella responded with casual words.

The sound of a hard object encountering bones and flesh was accompanied by blood spurting forth from Capella’s forehead, which had been torn almost completely apart. The inside of her scalp was visible, and blood strained her torn cheeks.

Subaru could no longer bear to look at what had originally been such a cute face.

Her left eye had been half-destroyed, and its light had vanished. This unexpected situation left Subaru’s mind momentarily blank.

His action had been intended to create a distraction for his enemy, but he’d been caught off guard instead— and an archbishop certainly wouldn’t let that moment go.

Capella: “Aren’t you cute to think that I’d play right into the palms of your hands? Isn’t this kind of helpless stupidity~ a problem for you? Gahahahaha!”

Capella’s mocking slipped into Subaru frozen thoughts.

The girl turned to face the stiff Subaru, and, in the next moment, a gust of a black whirlwind hit him, abruptly sending him flying.

Subaru: “Gah!”

Smacked by a gigantic force, his right half took a heavy blow, and Subaru was knocked into a table, before rolling to the ground. His entire body was shook, he he dizzily climbed to his feet, bracing himself against the wall. What he saw next was,

Capella: “What’s wrong? Are you so stunned by my beauty that you can’t even move?”

Subaru: “…what, just happened?”

Capella: “You actually have to ask? Just~ use your eyes for once~!”

Capella happily swayed her body, and Subaru couldn’t even articulate a cry of anguish.

He saw that what had just attacked him was a dragon’s tail, sprouting from behind the petite girl. That disconcerting appearance imprinted itself upon Subaru’s consciousness.

Subaru: “Could you be… a dragon?”

Capella: “Right~ your hopeless brain, which couldn’t realize the truth even upon impact! Even after this gentle lady has specifically given you so many hints, you can’t imagine it, you helpless scummy meat.”

Subaru: “——!”

Capella waved her tail lightly as Subaru took in her physiology. Her long tail gave a fierce sweep, and the ground cracked as Subaru barely threw himself aside in time. But…

Capella: “Isn’t your relief naive?”

Subaru: “Wah!?”

However, as he prepared to pull himself to his feet, Subaru hit by her huge left wrist. As he bounced away, he took another hit from the dragon tail awaiting him, and after a violent impact with the ceiling, was slashed by feathered wing, before finally coming to a rest on the ground.

Coughing violently as the impact sent him rolling across the floor, he witnessed the true face of the terror that had attacked him.

Where before there had only been a black tail, now there was a fist covered in animal hair. Then came that black tail from before, and finally, a pair of bird’s wings, long enough for the sharp feathers to slash across Subaru’s body. —And these all belonged to that young girl’s form.

Capella: “You should have just about~ figured the answer out, right?”

Alien, was the only word that came to mind.

A dragon’s tail, a beast’s arm, the wings of a great bird, all on a human girl.

He couldn’t think of any other suitable words to describe her. A wordless description of this creature that shouldn’t exist could be given as a sense of physical aversion.

He could feel nothing but a sense of disgust toward the monster in front of him.

Subaru: “Variation, transformation…”

Capella: “I am the Sin Archbishop of Lust, Capella Emerada Lugúnica. All the love and respect in this world exists to be monopolized by myself alone. If someone loves me, no matter how abnormal their desire is, I’ll respond. In short, I am the ultimate embodiment of all kinds of virtue and beauty in the world. Any girl matching your preferences, I can become. Hey~ I’m a dutiful woman, aren’t I? Kahahahaha!”

While wantonly speaking nonsense, Capella turned to face Subaru and began to freely change her form.

She shifted from her abnormal shape back to the tiny girl, but her hands and feet and then immediately extended to become the adult body of a grown woman. Just as Subaru realized this, she changed into a simple village girl, but, in the next moment has become a maiden with a lewd smile.

Capella: “Now, how do you like me?”

Subaru: “——”

Speechless. He was unable to say anything. One glance, and he realized that this was the worst possible situation.

She was a desecration of human values. In this sense, her ability was obvious. The power of Lust was to desecrate and trample on various values so that she would be the only loved thing in the world.

And with just a look, he saw that the wound marring her face had been long healed, without a traces of the injury left behind. Her terrible ability to regenerate— or, in reality, her ability to transform, had long cured her old injuries.

In any case, he’d finally solved the mystery of how the dragon had become a girl. He’d originally thought she was like Petelgeuse, able to use the bodies of others, but, if that weren’t the case…

Subaru: “——what?”

If that weren’t the case, then what had happened with the dragon from earlier, and the flies in the broadcast room?

Capella: “Have you finally realized it?”

Subaru: “Wait… wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait a second.”

As if she’d read his innermost thoughts, Capella’s expression had changed, and she laughed mockingly.

She’d become a long haired lady, and even the sound of her laughter changed as well.

In this situation, where he was uncertain of even who he was speaking to, Subaru shook his head. This can’t be, it’s impossible, it could never be true.

However, were he right, everything up until now could be explained. Capella’s Lust allowed her to change and transform her body.

And if this ability of hers were effective on objects other than her physical body…

Capella: “Has your waterlogged brain finally realized the identify of those disgusting flies~?”

Subaru: “They… they’re…”

Capella: “Hmm~ hmm~ hurry and give your answer, and I’ll hear you out. Gahahahahaha!”

Capella covered her mouth with her hand and laughed loudly.

Hating that attitude from the bottom of his heart, Subaru said in a trembling voice,

Subaru: “—They’re… the people in this building, who you’ve transformed.”

Capella: “Correct~, but you were pretty slow, so no prizes~. I won’t give you any appreciation. Ah, pointless scum, why do you exist? Anyway, I am totally unreadable ~”

Subaru: “Those are my lines!”

Capella didn’t look in the least guilty about this brutal atrocity.

Needless to say, she’d just stuffed those people into a dark room. When their red eyes had fixed themselves on Subaru, their wings, which weren’t capable of flight, had been flapping desperately, issued a loud buzzing flutter.

—They must have been asking for his help then.

Subaru: “There’s something wrong with your head! Why… how could you do such a thing! Why would you do it? Turning people into flies… why!?”

Capella: “It’s horrifying, right?”

Subaru: “It’s beyond twisted! You… you, you…”

Capella: “Maybe it’s just because I can’t help but create disgusting creatures~?”

Again, Subaru couldn’t find words to respond.

With harsh breaths and clench teeth, Subaru fixated on her with a fiery, intense gaze of hatred, as if trying to kill her with his sight.

She could play with the lives of others, even turning them into flies. Those atrocities were even worse than murder.

In these few hours, Subaru had successively encountered four archbishops who he’d never met before.

Wrathful Sirius was a madwoman who manipulated the emotions of others and craved a selfish love.

Greedy Regulus self-righteously and forcefully imposed his own values upon others.

Gluttonous Alphard stole memories and existences, a poison to humanity who could escape punishment.

And Lustful Capella was a monster who stripped away human dignity and identity. They were all hopeless, guilty of madness.

Capella: “——”

In contrast to the enraged Subaru, Capella had settled into a bored silence. In the next second, she took on a mocking tone.

As Subaru raged, Capella spoke.

Capella: “—Indeed, it’s annoying and disgusting.”

Facing Subaru’s wrath, Capella gave a more pleasant smile.

She clapped her hands together, pointing to the room packed with flies.

Capella: “When you look at a room full of giant flies, you get a horrible sense of physical disgust, isn’t that right? And of course, no matter who looks at those ugly creatures, they can’t help but want to run.”

Subaru: “What… does that…”

Capella: “No matter who, everyone feels disgusted with that ugliness. And those scum have become insects that I can’t bear to look at. It’s a matter of course that no one would love them.”

Subaru: “So, what are you trying to say?”

Capella: “Human beings, however, are creatures that cannot live without loving or being loved. But when their loved ones become such creatures, no matter how much they want to, they just can’t love them. In that case, they have to redirect love to others. No matter how reluctant they are, they just can’t love anything dirty.”

His mind went blank.

Tilting her head slightly, she spoke her monstrous words.

Listening to her clapping, Subaru was overtaken by a desire to escape.

Now, immediately, without hesitating for even a second, he want to disappear to a place without this monster.

His body didn’t want those eyes on him, his ears didn’t want to hear that voice, his mind didn’t want to remember that presence, all in a sense of physical disgust.

Wasn’t she the embodiment of aversion?

Something which he was genuinely unable to stand, wasn’t that the definition of the horror that stood before him?

Capella: “So gentle and merciful, I really am the perfect woman. Since it was decided that I’d monopolize all the world’s love and respect, then I absolutely can not slack on my duty. In order to be loved better, I’ll work hard to be loved, and change myself to suit your tastes. In order to capture your attention, I’ll take away everything you’re interested in everything but me. Loving anyone is okay, but you’ll choose me in the end. I’ll work hard to make that happen. I’ll improve improve better improve improve improve improve improve improve my own charm! And reduce reduce reduce reduce reduce reduce reduce the charm of the meats who aren’t me! Anyone, no matter who, would fall for this world’s most beautiful and charming me!”

Subaru: “… just, kill me already!”

Capella: “Why? I’m a philanthropist, how could I be so brutal as to kill you? Even if you’re worthless scum, if there’s a chance that you’ll love me, even if there’s a tiny, slight chance~, for every single person, I’ll let them live even one more second if they’ll give me my due praise! Only those who can’t will be killed! Above all, Capella-sama is a commendable praiseworthy woman!”

Subaru: “—”

Subaru: “——”

Subaru: “————”

Subaru: “I see now.”

Capella: “Do you? Well, now that you understand, quickly give your appreciation to Capella-sama. Let yourself be melted by Capella-sama’s love and become my favorite piece of meat…”

Subaru: “Go to hell.”

He couldn’t think. But there was no need to think.

The enemy in front of his was truly the most vicious enemy. Everything other than that piece of knowledge was entirely unnecessary.

Subaru’s whip suddenly flew forward. The monster jerked backwards as her face was suddenly attacked, removing her dirty foot from Crusch. Taking advantage of that opening, Subaru immediately moved, picking up Crusch.

Capella: “Witness— because you wanted that slab of meat, your fluids won’t stop leaking. Didn’t you deny it earlier? Didn’t you say so many beautiful words~? Don’t you like beautiful things? Don’t you like cute things? Don’t you like soft and comfortable things?”

Subaru: “——!”

Chasing Subaru, Capella spread her arms apart, reaching her wrist toward him.

One hand turned into a the head of a snake, while the other became the head of a lion— those distorted heads chased Subaru, showing their canines while crawling up and down the floor of the room.

Although his right foot had begun to bleed again, he still felt no pain. Feeling the body temperature and weight in his arms, making every effort to protect the woman he carried, Subaru focused every last bit of his athletic ability on dodging.

Capella: “Do you care so much for that scum? Then, for the rest of your short life, hold tightly and don’t let go! Those tempting eyes! Those sweet lips! That sweet meat meat meat! Because she’s stimulating, you’re clinging to desperately to her, unable to let go? Die! Die! Go die! Go die right now!”

Subaru: “Do not talk nonsense, bastard! I’m not that kind of person!”

Capella: “Quiet! Scum should just obediently stay put and emanate the stench of rubbish! Sows should obediently stay put and emanate the stench of an animal! You’ve never thought of it? Can you honestly say that you’ve never thought of it for even a second? Doesn’t that one second make it that kind of obscene relationship? What’s the difference? What’s the difference? Tell me what the difference is!”

The snakes and lions writhed as if resembling Capella’s excitement, wantonly twisting across the room.

The sound of teeth crunching a wooden desk, sending its legs flying, disassembling its body. That same force sought Subaru, trying again and again to reach him.

Caught in the center of that destructive storm, issued a pained cry, Subaru guarded Crusch’s body, desperately avoided the continuous attacks. Capella stood at the exit of the room. Even if he wanted to take the opportunity to escape, Capella’s body expanded and contracted, changing back and forth between women, girl, and maiden, in an anomaly that looked to be taboo.

Capella: “Don’t you want to stroke her hair? Don’t you want to brush her lips? Don’t you want to hold her body? Those cheap thoughts are always justified with beautiful words, with love a shield! Love is beautiful, isn’t that just a self-righteous justification? Aren’t you using beautiful words to cover up your desires?!”

Subaru: “——you!”

Capella: “Admit your lust directly! Don’t try to hide it behind love! Or are you refusing to say it? Refuting what’s already been determined? —My love for her is because of her innermost feelings! Her nobility, her gentleness, her compassion, her temperance, her sky blue eyes. She’s willing to live for others, she has the strength to endure injustice, her vulnerability that she shows only to me, I don’t want to leave her alone. That reassuring voice, that loving gaze, those eyes that steal my moodiness away, the lips that call my name so gently, the warmth that grips both of my hands, the excitement in my heartbeat when we touch, that beautiful hair swaying in the wind. Because fate brought us together, because I believe that only she’d accept me, because she’s always by my side when I’m sad, because she’s taught me so many important lessons, because we’ve been together for all all all of this time, I want to see and feel the same things that she does from now to forever. Because we promised, I swore to never forget, and only I know her, and only in front of her can I be myself. Because I was so lonely, I always wanted someone to understand me. You told me that that initial thought is what leads one person to love another. You were the one who took away the flow of my tears, you were the one who emerged from the boundless sea of people to find me, you were the one hugged me tightly when I collapsed, you were one who scolded me for first time because I was naive, you were the one who told me the undisguised truth, you were the one who told me so much that I never knew before, you were the one who took me to see so many sights I’d never seen before, you were the one who took my hand, out of my birdcage in. No matter when, you support me, no matter what, you understand me. We’re meant to be together, always, I can’t live without you, you’re my everything, you love me because I love you too, because your chest is so warm, because with you, all of the colors of the world shine so brilliantly, I can’t feel happiness without you, I can’t live without you. In this world so filled with lies, only this is truth.”

With a still expression, Capella spit those words out as if they were curses.

As she spoke this long, touching confession, Capella’s face was intertwined with beauty, adoration, obscenity. And with an even more complex and strange expression,

Capella: “—All of them all of them, aren’t they just sweet nothings!”

Subaru: “——”

Capella: “Those are all words meant only to placate others, what’s the harm in removing them? Do they have any sincerity? Any character? They’re merely nauseating nonsense, how annoying! Acts! They’re nothing but acts! In truth, you’ve only been attracted by the appearance of that meat! If you could really feel love with those who you speak affectionate words to and share affectionate touches and pillow talk with, see what happens when they become a fly! Could you love them? Are you not afraid of them? Are you not disgusted? No! You’d feel nothing but disgust oozing from your every pore! Well? Think about what you’ve said!”

Insane verbal abuse, a delusion of victimization, jealousy, hate, self-obsession.

Spit splashing across the room, Capella lost control of herself as she hysterically destroyed the room.

The snake’s hiss, the lion’s roar, Capella’s cries, Subaru couldn’t stand to listen to them any longer.

The noise became like storm, and the room began to collapse. No matter what he did, he couldn’t see anything past the smoke.

How was his foot? Could he he still use it, injured and torn as it was? The only thing he was certain of was the heartbeat of the woman in his arms, which continued to infuse Subaru with determination.

But even such a fight would come to and end here.

Capella: “Hey, meat. I can see you!”

Subaru: “—Huh!?”

Breaking through the smoke, the lion’s head suddenly rushed in.

Then the fangs snapped at Subaru’s right foot, and tore off a large chunk, blood spurting forth fiercely.

The injury had already directly exceeded the limit that Ferris could handle, and Subaru’s mind began to boil as he struggled through the pain of losing his right foot. He issued a violent cry of agony that his throat was unable to bear.

Of course, he couldn’t support his own body anymore.

As he collapsed, Crusch rolled onto the ground in front of him. And his blood began to overflow. This was no exaggeration. It appeared as if a bucket of blood had been suddenly overturned. It was clear that his life had entered a rapid decline.

Capella: “Ah, what a headache. It seems that I couldn’t help but get excited— how impolite of me. Kahahahaha!”

Subaru: “——”

Maintaining his position on the ground, Subaru stuck one convulsing hand to his wound.

Although the palm of the hand was blocking the wound, the momentum of the bleeding had not diminished. In fact, another feeling began to well up in Subaru’s body.

Soon, everything would end. This was the familiar feeling of Death, a feeling which gradually approached Subaru.

In just a few hours, he’d felt the pain of the loss of his right foot twice.

His face transcended paleness to take on a yellow pallor, and his breathing sped up and up as his eyes grew bloodshot.

Capella: “Oh my, my, aren’t you about to die~? Watching the agony this piece of meat is in, is particularly distressing for my compassionate self who feels for others.”

Subaru: “…ah… ah…”

Capella: “The piece of meat that you’ve been protecting is also going to die soon. It’s such a shame that I indulged in my hobby a little bit… and decided to see if she’ll lose to my blood~.”

Capella squatted down, glancing at Subaru’s twisted, agonized face. Then the monster smiled and stretched a hand to the wound on his foot.

Capella: “I wonder what kind of ugly meat will you’ll become~?”

Subaru: “……”

As she spoke, Capella turned her other hand into a blade, cutting into the hand that had just been caressing Subaru’s wound. And, bit by bit, her blood flowed into Subaru. Red and black blended together, blood blend with each other, forming a rather indecent scene.

And,

Subaru: “——!? Hah, ah ah ah ah ah!?”

Capella: “Capella-sama’s blood is different from ubiquitous common blood. Mine is mixed with dragon’s blood, which contains a great curse~ could you maybe last a bit longer than the other one?”

Capella hummed happily, but Subaru couldn’t form any kind of reply.

His entire being was half-dead, and even his pain had become sluggish. Just a second before he died, the blood that had plunged into his wound ravaged and eroded his body.

As if a foreign body with self-awareness had entered his body, a fear of a much higher degree than that a regional pain ravished Natsuki Subaru, as if attempting to completely rewrite his existence while merging with him.

Unable to understand, not allowed even the mercy of death.

And compared to Crusch? It was as the monster had said. She was suffering the same pain. If she had to endure such a pain, she’d be better off dead! Let us die! Let us die! Let me die! Let me die! Let me die!

Capella:“Gahahahaha! Well, then~ the invaders have been well taken care of. Well, it’s about time that I…”

After looking back and forth at the collapsed Subaru and Crusch, Capella stood, satisfied.

She reverted to the petite girl’s form, her tail vanishing as she headed toward the broadcast room. As she turned, she paused.

Her gaze fell on the wall that had been destroyed when the decoy dragon had been attacked.

Capella: “My, my, they were pretty decent after all~.”

And, after having fallen from the building only a short while ago, the black dragon had again taken to the skies. Seeing its enemy, it gave a deafening roar, before breathing a mouthful of black flames.

— At that moment, black flames engulfed the city.

 

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