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Translated by :
Proofread by :
- Jaerek
- Nobi
- Nana
- Graced
Fan Art Source :
And with huge gratitude to Erifuru’s Help, check out his Spanish Translations here
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ALL RIGHTS BELONG TO TAPPEI NAGATSUKI, THE ORIGINAL AUTHOR OF RE:ZERO STARTING A LIFE IN A DIFFERENT WORLD FROM ZERO, THIS IS A TRANSLATION OF THE FREE JAPANESE WEB NOVEL INTO ENGLISH
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Part 1
Patching together, patching together, continuing to form its shape.
Patching together, patching together, continuing to mould its shape.
Patching together, patching together, continuing to fill in the colours.
Patching together, patching together, patching together, and continuing towards bringing himself closer to completion.
Patching together, patching together, patching together, patching together, patching together, patching together, patching together, patching together, patching together, patching together, patching together, patching together, patching together, patching together, patching together, patching together, patching together, patching together, patching together, patching together, patching together, patching together.
Patching together, patching together, patching together, and even now, as he patched himself together, he was still incomplete――
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???: [――Hey, do you know my name?]
The little girl, Amue Sears, held her breath at that question.
It was quite an ordinary question, without any real coherence to it. It should have been a dull question that wouldn’t have required much time or preparation to answer. If you know it, you know. If you don’t know it, you don’t. That’s all it was.
Amue:「――――」
But, Amue’s voice did not come out at that question, even if it were to be seen at face value.
Life was a series of choices. This was the reality which even Amue, who had just turned 14 years of age, was well aware of from her experiences in her short life.
When it comes to life, decisions have to be made in just about everything. It begins from small, ordinary things, or, perhaps it was a variety of the big decisions that affect life. But, setting aside whether they were big or small, life was made up entirely of decisions.
And now, a question which held the greatest weight of her 14 years alive was raised at Amue Sears. Or perhaps, it was the greatest decision of her life. That dull, insignificant question, with nothing special about it, that had been raised just before, was that very thing.
???: [――Hey, do you know my name?]
The repeated question kept tightening Amue’s throat. Nevertheless, the one who had raised the question didn’t seem to have wanted to cause that. It was even a kindness to repeat the question once again; such a consideration felt like quite an imbalance.
If it was the one questioning that was tormenting Amue, then it was also the one questioning that held the most anxiety for Amue. In truth, she understood that he was just seeking an answer to the question. That’s why Amue would have to grope for the right solution amongst the options, without any hints other than what was available from pondering it over within her head.
――What would really be the correct answer?
Know it, or don’t know it: which was the one that the questioner was looking for? Or perhaps it would be better to answer that she knew it, even if she didn’t? Or, would it be better to answer that she didn’t know it, even if she did? ――Amue’s heart shrieked at the two anguishing choices.
???: [――Hey. Do. You. Know. My. Name?]
Each part of the question that was once again repeated was punctuated in impatience. Even if they didn’t understand each other, would that make him anxious? That fear plucked at Amue’s chest. To be honest, she could be convinced that if she didn’t answer with either a “Yes” or “No” that it’d be unconditionally impossible to meet the questioner’s expectations.
She couldn’t end it still without saying anything, still without giving a response, and still without making a decision. She would not be set free. ――Only in that, there was no doubt.
Amue:「――――」
Still her voice didn’t come out. She returned the gaze of those black eyes which were right in front of her. Amue pondered. Within those vacant black eyes, the terrible visage of the haggard Amue herself could be seen within them. She really didn’t want to say it out loud, but in her own appearance, she was self-conscious of the way she could be seen; she had become a mere shadow of her former self.
Being absolutely terrified of the dominance of the questioner right in front of her eyes, she cowered.
Amue’s face was drawn out, exhausted, as if she had aged dozens of years all at once. If things continued this way, she’d end up dying by the mere pressure of the question itself; fragilely she――
???: [――Hey, do you know my name?]
The strong feeling of pressure that gave her the impression of death suddenly, quite on the contrary, inspired hope within Amue. Whilst Amue experienced the suffocating sensation that felt like her chest was about to cave in, a premonition that she’d answer the question and then be set free encompassed her. Just as she thought that, she realised that the dismal sensation that been dominating her entire body had started to fade.
A sense of suffocation had come from the strong pressure of her doubts concerning what she should answer. Since she wanted to be set free from this, she would need to bite down her anxiety at the initial question. Perhaps it was a kind of self-defence instinct, but for Amue in this moment, this appeared like a divine revelation. Therefore, with her lips trembling, she once again stared back into those black eyes.
???: [――Hey, do you know my name?]
She would be set free from her current suffocation by answering the question. With all her willpower, Amue finally moved her trembling tongue, and formed some words.
Amue: [N… no……]
In accordance with her heart, Amue replied that she didn’t know. She released her thoughts from the choices which had been up until then endlessly spinning around in her mind.
She answered the question with utmost lucidity. In fact, she didn’t know neither the name or face of the questioner that stood in front of her.
When it came to her, who lived in a place that ought to be called the borderlands, the so to speak remote countryside, events from the Kingdom, even serious ones, were like rumours from a faraway land.
That’s why, no matter how much of a big shot he was, to her, he was a stranger that she didn’t know――
???: [――Is that so?]
It was a short reply. She couldn’t tell whether deep emotion or dejection had been put into that reply. But Amue’s decision had been formed. What came after was the questioner’s problem.
If life was a series of choices and decisions, then that was the same for anyone. Since Amue had chosen, the questioner would also have to chose.
Amue:「――――」
The 14 year old little girl waited for the questioner’s choice silently.
――She waited for his answer all alone in the middle of a village where no one had been left except for her.
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???: 『Hey, Subaru. Isn’t it time for lunch soon?』
Stopping in his tracks at hearing that call, Natsuki Subaru rubbed his stomach. The time had already passed noon, and now that it had been mentioned, he was indeed feeling hungry. The reason behind why he hadn’t noticed it until now was because he had been concentrating on walking about without heed. The main road continued endlessly on and on to the extent that he had to concentrate entirely on walking. If he were to think about where he was headed to, it’d get to the extent that he’d feel depressed; such was how absurdly long the journey was.
Subaru:「Though, a break is important don’t you think? My bad, Emilia-tan. Did you get tired?」
Emilia:『Not at all, I’m doing fine. But, it was just on my mind that I was worried for Subaru, who’s been walking all this time. If you’re alright, it’s fine, but….』
Subaru:「Nono, that’s right, my stomach was rumbling as well. I’m absolutely starving, almost to the point where my stomach was dangerously close to sticking to my back. Heh, how dangerous how dangerous.」
Emilia:『Is that so? That would be a reaaaaaally dangerous place for them to be, right….』
Having heard Subaru’s answer, who had exaggeratedly placed his hands on his stomach, the silver haired girl―― Emilia placed her hand against her mouth and giggled. Her features looked the prettiest in this world, and the sound of her voice was rather like that of a silver bell. As that smiling face drew nearer, Subaru scratched his head and also let his lips split into a smile. And, from beside those two――
???:『Don’t tease Emilia too much, I suppose. No matter how rumbly your stomach is, it’s impossible for your stomach and back to stick together, in fact.』
Subaru:「Oopsy」
When he turned his head to look at the direction of the voice, Beatrice was there, a composed expression resting on her face and her arms folded. Subaru suddenly narrowed his eyes at the point made by the little girl who was wearing a pretty dress. Seeing that, Beatrice furrowed her well-kept eyebrows and said『What, I suppose?』
Beatrice:『Subaru’s face is a little unsettling, in fact. What’s the matter, I suppose?』
Subaru:「It was so cute when you said rumbly. Say it again!」
Beatrice:『Grrrrr, in fact! Don’t get caught up in such strange things, I suppose!』
With her face flushed, Beatrice snapped back at Subaru’s frivolous words. Subaru and Emilia both exchanged glances and laughed seeing how Beatrice had reacted. She had puffed out her cheeks even more. Seeing her like that was really cute. ――There was no mistake about it. If he were to tell her this directly, he would probably dampen her mood. After confirming that, Subaru rolled up one of his sleeves with an「Alright!」
Subaru:「Well then, how about we take advantage of Emilia-tan’s concern and start lunchtime? For the time being, let me show off my talent. Any requests?」
Emilia:『Ah, well then, I want you to use mayonnaise. Hey, look, I imagine Ram just made some mayonnaise again, right?』
Subaru:「Of course, of course, it’s my pleeeeasure if that’s Emilia-tan’s order! Luckily, there’s plenty thanks to Ram’s stockpiles. She finally recognised the appeal mayonnaise has…」
Ram:『――Stop saying such idiotic things.』
Subaru:「Uwaaa!?」
After he placed down the baggages that he had been carrying, Subaru started to make a campsite just off of the main road. Seeing some slender legs standing roughly beside him, pale pink eyes were staring down at the surprised Subaru. The figure stood embracing her own arms, an air of majesticness about her. The girl held a look that showed nary a trace of hospitality as a stark contrast to the maid outfit she donned――
Subaru:「That was quite the abrupt greeting, eh, Ram. At least let me finish what I’m saying!」
Ram:『Hah! Stop making me laugh. I only help out in making mayonnaise because it’s a professional order. Would Ram trust in such a flavouring that’s just sour and white? Disgusting.』
Subaru:「Saying it’s disgusting is such an overstatement! To begin with, you shouldn’t be able to deny the explosive power of using mayonnaise on steamed potatoes! I won’t let you say that the taste is a lie!」
A flavour coated in plenty of mayonnaise on the steamed potatoes that came fresh from the oven which were full of salt. The sweetness of the forbidden flavours which overwhelmed one’s tongue was an Eden that should be savoured by any mayonnaise lover at least once――Potatoes and mayonnaise indisputably held the highest compatibility with each other that could never lose its lustre.
Subaru’s mouth watered as he recalled that splendid harmony of taste. Were the ones next to Subaru imagining the same taste? He could see Emilia and Beatrice’s eyes shimmering.
Subaru:「Look at that, the reactions of two cute gourmands! Seeing that, can you still slander mayonnaise with your heresy!?」
Ram:『……Ah well. It’s as Barusu says. The magnificence of steamed potatoes is such that even strange seasonings like mayonnaise can add value to them.』
Subaru:「It’s not that way, it’s the opposite! No, even me saying the opposite isn’t right, it’s more like you’re being stubborn. Isn’t that right, nee-sama!」
In the end, Ram would never yield to saying that the contribution of mayonnaise was greater than that of steamed potatoes. Even though Subaru shook his fist at that obstinate attitude, Emilia broke into strained laughter, speaking out a “Now now, settle down” to the two of them.
Emilia:『Subaru, calm down. I like both mayonnaise and steamed potatoes, as well as mayonnaise placed on steamed potatoes. Besides, it’s rather just down to the fact that Ram can’t bring herself to be honest.』
Ram:『……Emilia-sama, please stop concerning yourself with speaking out Ram’s thoughts as you please. Ram’s target age is going to lower with Emilia-sama speaking like that.』
Emilia:『S-sorry. But, what do you mean by target age……..?』
Emilia was perplexed by Ram’s unreasonable and unintelligible reaction. However, the feelings which had been expressed in the two’s conversation weren’t ones of moodiness, but rather they were feelings of unconcealable deep affection and faith. On the contrary, Emilia and Ram had built up quite an ideal relationship with each other. Calling it a master-servant relationship was quite a delicate issue as from Ram’s perspective she didn’t think of herself as a subordinate, however there were more bonds between the two of them. And only Subaru understood those well. In any case――
Subaru:「I feel bad for Nee-sama, but Emilia-tan’s word of God takes complete priority. That’s the style of this party. Anywho, today’s lunch will have a whole bunch of mayonnaise!」
Emilia:『Yaaay, yippee!』
Emilia clapped in delight, and Ram gave an exasperated sigh. Even so, that was enough for Ram to not cling onto it more than that. Emilia herself understood its deliciousness. Of course, since Subaru was a true, unbridled mayo-lover, he would be the biased judge for this menu.
Subaru:「Of course, Beako loves mayonnaise a lot just like me. It makes you happy, right?」
Beatrice:『I can’t deny it, in fact. But, the oh so omniscient manner you speak about it in is irritating, I suppose. Betty’s anger isn’t easy to dispel, in fact. I want a delicious meal for that, I suppose.』
Subaru:「Hehe, as you wish.」
Puffing out her slender chest, Beatrice made her cute special request. Subaru gave a bow at the request. After seeing that dramatic gesture, and making sure that Emilia and the others were satisfied, they began preparing the meal. Even so, they couldn’t make such an elaborate meal in the open air. Of course, if they used the power of magic they could use fire and water like that, but,
Emilia:『I’m sorry, Subaru. I can’t really help you out much.』
Subaru:「You needn’t say sorry. Now is my time to shine, don’t you think? On the contrary, it’s fine if you fall in love with me again when I show off my unexpected creative skills.」
Emilia:『Jeez, you’re such an idiot.』
Returning a smile at Emilia who still had a faint smile on her face, Subaru set about on coming up with something to prepare the meal with the ingredients that were at his disposal now. Food was what provided their energy each day; he didn’t want to be shoddy with it. Checking the contents of his baggages, Subaru did everything he could to prepare a meal which could meet everyone’s needs. Everyone that accompanied him would be given tasty food to eat.
He hadn’t thought about it up until now, but it would be delightful for everyone to receive his tasty cooking that he had made to eat. That too served as a motivation for him as he made the food. If he was able to do such a simple thing so well, then that ought to have delighted his mother quite a lot.
Emilia:『Mhmhmhmhm……』
Whilst confining those emotions to a corner of his mind, Subaru peered out nearby at those who were busying themselves cooking and his cheeks relaxed at seeing the cheerful figures of Emilia and the others. He could even hear some humming. It was out of tune.
???:『Oho, the one on meal duty today is onii-sa~n. That’s quite worryi~ng.』
Meili had appeared as they were making the preparations for the meal. She turned towards Subaru, giving him a look that was not suiting to her age as she twiddled her fingers through her deep blue braided hair. Subaru returned her gaze with a suspicious look in his eyes on seeing her sweetly smiling figure.
Subaru:「Worrying, huh? What worries. I ain’t going to let a girl who says such impertinent things eat!」
Meili:『Wow, that’s abu~se. Besides, isn’t it Onii-san that tries to soak everything in may~onnaise? I don’t really like it at all.』
Subaru:「Wh- what!? You as well don’t know the charm of mayonnaise……!?」
Meili:『Don’t make a face like the world’s about to e~nd.』
Meili gave a sigh at seeing Subaru making such an astonished face. But, the shock that Subaru had received on hearing her reply was immeasurable. Even if it wasn’t tantamount to it being the end of the world, the shock he had received was like as if he had realised it was the end of this year.
???:『Even so, I think you’re taking it a little too seriously. Miss Meili was just saying that she was not on the same wavelength as you, who tries to mix mayonnaise into just about any ingredient.』
Subaru:「Ugh……」
It was Julius who had followed up Meili’s words, as she showed her objections to mayonnaise. He was a handsome man, who embodied gracefulness even in his gait. Julius, who had made his way over to him, grinned at Subaru all of a sudden.
Julius:『If I may add something, I too share the same opinion as Miss Meili. Thought mayonnaise itself isn’t that bad, its first impression diminishes when you put it on everything. You have to be careful with it, you know.』
Subaru:「You’re such a prickly, noisy guy. What was happening now was an issue between me and Meili. It would have been nice if you didn’t come butting in.」
Julius:『I guess in my role as one of the members here, it’s my duty to preserve the healthy environment of the group. Ignoring the seed of disagreement would result in it budding and on it blossoming, you will repent and lament it all too much. It’s my duty to give you advice before it becomes that. And with all that, you’re reacting like that?』
Subaru:「You’re a guy who always has a comeback for everything I say, aren’t you!」
Expressing himself in such a roundabout way, Julius poked at each of Subaru’s indiscretions. Feeling like he’d been cornered by his words, Subaru’s voice became rougher.
And, having heard their exchange, Emilia burst into laughter with a “Hehe”
Subaru:「Emilia-tan?」
Emilia:『As always, Julius and Subaru are reaaaallly good friends』
Subaru dejectedly dropped his shoulders seeing Emilia’s gaze which looked as if she was looking at something pleasant. Also in the same standpoint, Julius closed one of his eyes whilst brushing his hand through his fringe.
Just this time did Subaru and Julius’s opinions seem like they saw eye to eye. But, it seemed like there was quite the difference between the way Emilia received that opinion. Since her jewel-like amethyst eyes seemed to view the exchange between Julius and Subaru just now as if it had been an act between two close friends.
Subaru:「Umm, Emilia-tan. I’m always saying this, but that’s a….」
Emilia:『That’s a?』
That was always a big misunderstanding, no matter what the circumstances may be. Subaru tried to explain that to Emilia who had inclined her head in doubt――、
Subaru:「That’s a……」
Emilia:『――――』
The words he had tried to continue as his explanation, the start of them halted, and Subaru’s lip stiffened.
Just now, Emilia’s movement, who had inclined her head and had been smiling in front of his eyes, came to a standstill. ――No, it wasn’t just Emilia who came to a standstill.
Around Subaru’s surroundings where everyone had been in the midst of cooking up until now, everyone who had been speaking stopped in their tracks. Everyone became completely stiff. ――It was as if the world’s time had entirely come to a stop awaiting Subaru’s next move.
But, the sound of the wind, the scent of the greenery and the boiling water indicated that it wasn’t so. The world hadn’t come to a stop. ――Only Emilia and the others had. It’s as if Subaru was awaiting for the images to catch up with him, to try and make them reappear.
But, just Emilia and the others had come to a stop――
???「――Master~! Badump, I went to check ahead~!」
Subaru:「――――」
Suddenly, an extraneous presence thrust itself into the silent world which had been at a standstill. It moved in front of Subaru’s eyes, who had been kindling the fire sat atop of a boulder. The figure jumped nimbly, diving towards him with great vigour.
???:「Here’s to the quick return of Shaula! Master, please praise me and hug me and love me!」
A tall, beautiful woman, with a smile adorning her features, turned towards Subaru and said that. She was someone who exposed her clear white skin, and had long, tied-up brown hair. She showed off her sexy feminine body without any shame―― The woman, Shaula, let a carefree smile float across her face.
Subaru:「――――」
However, Subaru’s reaction to Shaula’s appearance was quite poor. That too should have been expected. She had came barging in just as Emilia was smiling.
Her exuberantly lively leap had scattered Emilia, and she had also erased all the others that had stood still. Subaru frowned at that fact.
Shaula:「Wh-What? Wha-What’s wrong, master? Did I maybe mess up again?」
Subaru:「……No, it’s fine. Don’t worry about it. You didn’t do anything wrong.」
Shaula:「Is that so? Well then, I won’t worry! Ah, besides that, Master I’m glad you’re preparing the meal! I’m staaaarving~」
For a moment, Shaula’s face had clouded over at seeing Subaru’s facial expression, but as soon as she heard Subaru’s backtracking, she went to over to embrace Subaru, her face with nary a trace of her earlier anxiety.
Even though he felt Shaula’s body pressing against his arms, and her hellish softness against his elbow and shoulder, Subaru shook her off with a blunt:「Hey, get off of me.」
Shaula:「Ah! Master’s so mean…..But I won’t be discouraged. Bambambam, by attacking you in this way, I will snipe right for Master’s heart, soul and male instincts.」
Subaru:「Like, it’s as if you’re aiming right in the middle….. Also, don’t go grabbing the arms of people in the middle of cooking. What would you do if I ended up burning my hand?」
Shaula:「If that were to happen, I’d gently lick the affected part! I would lick it and lick it day and night without letting go!」
Subaru:「That wouldn’t stop it from swelling…..」
Shaula insisted, raising both of her arms vigorously. Subaru shrugged his shoulders seeing that attitude from Shaula and gave a feeble laugh. Seeing that, Shaula raised her eyebrows with a:「So, so!」
Shaula:「Did Master laugh just now? Did something amusing happen?」
Subaru:「What’s amusing is you, just you.」
Shaula:「Ehh, is that… a marriage proposal…..?」
Subaru:「How did you come to that conclusion!?」
He didn’t know how the conversation had jumped to that, but Subaru poked Shaula on her forehead (whose cheeks were squirming, dyed in red), putting into his feelings of denial and his objections to it. Receiving that, Shaula groaned,「Oww~」
Shaula:「Wellwell, doesn’t saying “You’re an amusing woman” act like a legal right for a man and woman to fall in love with each other! After saying that, shouldn’t you just be continuing it with “Be my woman”!?」
Subaru:「Really, where did you hear such one-sided information? That pattern seems to have grown old even from where I am from already; you hardly see it anymore……. 」
Maybe it wasn’t seldom whereby male protagonists would handle these first-met events in games targeted towards women, or in Shoujo manga. But, Subaru didn’t know whether that was still in use now.
In any case, referring to Shaula as amusing was not so he could seduce her. But, as far as Subaru was concerned, Shaula’s reaction was――
Subaru:「――The thing you said was unexpected, it was new.」
Shaula:「――――」
Subaru:「That’s why talking with you isn’t… so bad. I have no doubts about that.」
He wouldn’t specifically say that talking to people other than Shaula was painful. But, when Subaru conversed with other people, naturally, it would be often that he would be made aware of his own incompleteness. And that was painful. It didn’t mean that someone was at fault. ――The one at fault was always himself.
Subaru:「The one who’s at fault… is always me. That’s why….」
Shaula:「In other words, this time, it’s a marriage proposal!?」
Subaru:「What the hell, no!」
The mood that came with that earnest speech lasted only for a second. Shaula let her discontentment rain at the shouting Subaru. She wiggled her hands and feet and said「Eeh~」
Shaula:「Butbut, in the place where I spent my time in idle grey, it was you that blew a new wind into me. It’s like that. Doesn’t that make it still a legal right within a legal right~?」
Subaru:「Absolutely not. So, where on earth does your biased source of knowledge come from….?」
He had intended to have a relatively serious conversation, but Shaula had completely broken that, and so Subaru abandoned the idea. Absentmindedly slackening his cheeks, Subaru went back to concentrating on his cooking.
Next to Subaru who was cooking by the side of the road, a meal was prepared for the two of them. For the two of Subaru and Shaula―― not for those whom should have been enjoying the conversation, i.e. Emilia, Beatrice, Ram, Meili and Julius amongst others.
――Realising that truth once again, Subaru’s chest ached in cruel, forlorn anguish.
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Patching together, patching together, continuing to form its shape.
Patching together, patching together, continuing to mould its shape.
Patching together, patching together, continuing to fill in the colours.
Patching together, patching together, patching together, and continuing towards bringing himself closer to completion.
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Part 2
It was often that he was made aware that he was an imperfect being. And that really frayed at his nerves. It was quite evident that it wasn’t a healthy mentality by no stretch of the imagination, but if you were to really be put into that situation, then you’d be able to experience the sensations of his worn soul.
Frankly speaking, there was no doubt that the current Natsuki Subaru’s frame of mind was in such a state.
Shaula:「――Master, master, where are we off to next?」
Subaru:「Ah, that’s right……」
Shaula was walking right next to Subaru, humming as she went along, in high spirits. Looking up at hearing her question, Subaru pondered about it as he looked up ahead of the main road.
Ram:『For now I think we should head towards the west, right? Are you perhaps looking for civilisation? If you want to get away from civilisation then turn to the right and you can plunge right into the Great Waterfall, or so I’d hope.』
Subaru:「Don’t make such a scary suggestion, Nee-sama….. That’ll be the only feeling I’ll end up getting from it you know.」
Her point wasn’t just candid advice, but rather it was said in typical Ram-like fashion, the kind that was like she was exchanging poison. Whilst keeping that in his chest, Subaru decided to head westwards in accordance with her advice.
Subaru:「I am going to keep on heading to the west……. But, what will you do?」
Shaula:「Eh? Well, I’ll be following Master without ever letting go, right? Since the time we were separated from each other was sooo long, it’s gotten hard for me to be away from Master for even one second. Please take care of Shaula, who’s always watching over you from good morning to good morning.」
Subaru:「From good morning to good morning, you say…… How Scary! Wouldn’t that be all throughout the day!」
Shaula:「Every day and night too.」
Shuddering at her rather grand stalkerish advance notice, Subaru cast his face down, a troubled expression adorning it. In all honesty, it felt strange that he had ended up walking along with Shaula.
There was Subaru who held shameful feelings of guilt and misery. And then there was Shaula who acted openly without any inhibitions. Though maybe with them as a combo, the balance of tension between plus and minus was kept at an equilibrium. But, in any case, even though Subaru certainly felt like he was helped out a lot by Shaula’s behaviour, he couldn’t think of what merits there lay from Shaula’s perspective in accompanying him.
Shaula:「Master is Master; that’s the number one thing for me, y’know」
Subaru:「……Honestly, I don’t really get you. Are you seriously going to keep following me around?」
Shaula:「Of courssse! Haven’t you heard of something called “Until Death does us Part”! I can’t let the love that built up during the time we didn’t meet go dry y’know~ . I won’t leave Master’s side anymore no matter what happens. I will even give birth to so many children, as many as in a baseball team!」
Subaru:「Don’t you go throwing such horrifying fastballs around…..」
Stretching out her ample breasts, Shaula looked over at him with shimmering bright eyes. He covered his eyes with his palm. The depths of his heart were complex and hard to comprehend.
He wasn’t really sure whether he should call Shaula’s rather direct behaviour flirting, but in itself, as a man, Subaru wasn’t necessarily unhappy. If he placed her eccentricity to the side, Shaula was a beautiful woman and quite attractive.
Subaru:「――――」
However, Natsuki Subaru’s heart couldn’t be shook by Shaula’s temptations. Because such human-like emotions were things which could only be permitted in decent human beings. In brief, it was because they were absolutely unattainable capabilities for the current him.
Emilia:『I think it’d be better for Subaru to be a little more kind to Shaula. She keeps giving it her all like that, and even for all of that, isn’t it pitiful?』
Suddenly, a chiming voice like a silver bell cut into Subaru’s hesitation. Turning his gaze to his side, Emilia could be seen peering at Subaru’s face. Subaru closed one of his eyes at her adorable pouting expression.
Subaru:「……Even though it’s Emilia-tan saying that, don’t you think that was really harsh? And here was me thinking that I knew how I thought about Emilia-tan.」
Emilia:『Uhm….. I guess. Maybe. Sorry. Of course, I’m lonely too; but I think it’s pointless if you’re always moping about it. After all…』
Subaru:「After all?」
Emilia:『After all, I’m already――』
As she narrowed her amethyst eyes, Emilia tried to continue her words from before. He’d want to immediately interrupt if there was something he didn’t want to hear, but that was difficult. Not lending his ears to this Emilia’s words was more difficult than cutting off the words of God.
However――,
Subaru:「Whoops」
Even if it was impossible to spontaneously interrupt her, he could still interrupt her due to external factors. Suddenly hearing a noise drawing closer from behind him, Subaru shifted his attention away from Emilia and made his way to the side of the main road. The sound of wheels drawing closer informed him that a dragon carriage was approaching.
At once, he pulled Shaula’s arm and the two of them escaped from the path of the dragon carriage.
Shaula:「Yhaa, Master sure is aggressive….」
Subaru:「Get off」
Subaru boisterously avoided Shaula’s hug who had been taking advantage of him having pulled her arm. Having been shook off, Shaula crashed against some trees along the main road, and she let out a shriek,「GYAAAA」
Giving a quick glance back at Shaula whose nose had turned red, still crashing against trees, Subaru waited for the dragon carriage to pass by and out of his sight, before going back onto the main road once again――
???:「Hmm?」
Ahead of him, the dragon carriage that had passed by Subaru and Shaula let out a sound and came to a halt. It didn’t seem like it was due to any troubles with the carriage body. With that, he couldn’t think of any reason for it coming to a stop other than because of Subaru and Shaula.
It was still the peak time of the day, but the road was deserted. Subaru increased his vigilance for a split second as if he’d come across bandits or the likes.
???:「――You wouldn’t happen to be Natsuki Subaru-san by any chance?」
However, that vigilance quickly vanished too due to the call from the individual who had descended from the dragon carriage’s driver seat. After calling out his name, the tall youth who should have been sat at the driver’s seat of the dragon carriage walked over to Subaru, who had now let go of his vigilance.
It was an individual whose age was around about Subaru’s, with grey hair that was tied up into a ponytail. Though his gentle features didn’t give off any striking impressions, quite unexpectedly, his build was quite robust. He didn’t give off the vibes that he performed manual labour, but it did look like his work involved some at least.
Regardless of such a first impression, what mattered the most for Subaru was that this youth recognised him, and that he had called out his name.
???:「Ahh, it’s as I thought, it’s Natsuki-san isn’t it? It’s been a long time.」
Subaru:「Aaah, well……」
He was a youth that greeted out to him with the familiarity of no doubt an acquaintance, even though there was a bit of a distance. As he hesitated on deciding how he would respond to him, Subaru looked around to his surroundings.
Receiving that look, Emilia, Beatrice and the others shook their heads. They had indicated that they had no clue who he was to Subaru. Emilia and the others, and Subaru as well, had thrown their hands up at that, but he hesitated in starting a conversation whilst pretending to know him.
That was Subaru’s signature move, but he didn’t want to do it right now due to various reasons. Seeing Subaru embroiled in confusion within his current mental state, the youth furrowed his well-shaped eyebrows and said,
???:「Oh, perhaps you’ve forgotten? It’s me, Regin Suwen……My older brother, Otto Suwen, helps you out. We met once before at the village.」
Subaru:「Regin you say….. Ah, that Otto’s!」
Regin:「When you say it like that Otto, it’s almost like you’re saying it like it’s someone else’s business, no?」
Showing a forced smile at that unnatural expression, Subaru clapped his hands together in comprehension in front of the youth―― Regin. Unfortunately, he couldn’t remember Regin’s figure, but he did know Otto’s.
Now that it was mentioned, Regin and Otto’s features did have many similarities with each other. There wasn’t any doubts that they were brothers, and also acquaintances of Subaru.
Subaru:「It was my bad, it was my bad. Like you just caught me now at a time where various things are going on inside my head. That’s why your name didn’t come to me right away, or something like that.」
Regin:「Nono, I guess it couldn’t be helped since you’re in such a busy position. The royal selection has reached even my ears living in the remote countryside….. Nii-san isn’t causing you any nuisances, right?」
Emilia:『Otto-kun causing you nuisances… what a preposterous thing to say, eh? Everyone of us has been helped out in various ways thanks to Otto-kun.』
Subaru:「Yeah. Otto’s become a great help to all of us in the camp…… something like that. If that guy wasn’t there, it’d seem like things would be far more all over the place.」
Regin:「Is that… so? I guess that’s good then……」
Though Regin expressed a vague sense of gratitude as he said that, it seemed that he was quite relieved to be told about the current state of his older brother. And after that, he flitted between looking at Subaru and Shaula who were standing a short distance away from each other.
Regin:「Even so, Natsuki-san, what are you doing in a place like this? I would think it’d be quite arduous walking on the main road without even riding on a dragon carriage….」
Subaru:「Aah, you’re quite right there, or rather, how should I put it… I’d love to make use of a dragon carriage, or the likes if possible, but due a number of reasons doing that would be difficult. And, regarding what you said before about what I’m doing….」
Cutting his words off there, Subaru thought for a second. And then, he found the right words.
Subaru:「The current me is in the middle of reconsidering my own self…. you could say『A Journey of Self-Discovery』」
Regin:「A Journey of Self-Discovery…?」
Subaru「Mhhhm, that’s right. A Journey of Self-Discovery…… Gh-hahahaha!」
His own words were amusing; Subaru laughed involuntarily. Although “Self-Discovery” was a word which was common with young people, were there any other relevant words which fit this well with the current Subaru? If he thought about it, it wasn’t so amusing.
Regin seemed to have vaguely felt that something was out of place at the state Subaru was in, and he said「Are you all right?」with a manner of concern for Subaru.
Regin:「Is something in your body not quite well? For a second, I was certain that this was the reason behind Natsuki-san recognising me so late, but since I’ve been mistaken for others often before…..」
Subaru:「My body isn’t unwell, really. If you’re talking about how I feel emotionally, then I’m on the confines of the worst I guess. But, it’s thanks to you, Regin, that I’ll hang in there. I was relieved to meet you here you know.」
Interrupting Regin’s words, Subaru deeply bowed his head and expressed his gratitude. Seeing Subaru’s attitude, Regin continued to get more and more bewildered. However, it seemed like he had furthered his conviction that Subaru’s attitude before his eyes was quite abnormal. Regin made a resolute facial expression, and called out to Subaru with a「Natsuki-san」
Regin:「I don’t really get the situation well, but for the time being, please come to the village with me. Let’s talk about it in detail at my clinic. You need to rest.」
Subaru:「Are you speaking like a doctor?」
Regin:「Though my patients are earth dragons, livestock and the likes, I am a doctor. Have you forgotten that too?」
Subaru:「――Forgotten. Aaah, that’s right. I’ve… forgotten?」
Regin:「Natsuki-san?」
If only he had forgotten, then for Natsuki Subaru, things likely would have ended up without him tasting the feelings of isolation that he had felt up until now. However, those feelings that tormented Natsuki Subaru were not easy things to forget.
Subaru:「Your village is further ahead, right? Have I ever stopped by?」
Regin:「Y-yeah, of course. In the past, when there was a bit of an issue, you, my older brother and that other guy came together……」
Subaru:「――I see. Thank you.」
He had been able to roughly hear what he wanted. He turned to face Regin, who had been daunted by Subaru’s words, and continued.
Subaru:「The way you… and your older brother talk are very similar.」
Regin:「Huh?」
Subaru:「You are quite the good guy. Your brother seems to be a good guy too.」
That’s why from hereafter, their『First Reunion』would also be terrible. By no means was it something that he’d derive pleasure from or look forward to.
Subaru:「――Shaula.」
Shaula:「Present; what’s up Master?」
Subaru:「Don’t hurt him.」
It was a short, nondescript call. But, by simply guessing his intentions, Shaula nodded with a「Arahorasassā」
(TL Note: this is a reference to Yatterman (A Japanese anime, which also got a film), where from some research the trio from the animated film says アラホラサッサー！in one of their songs. I’m going to leave this untranslated. But it’s something like Hey, hey, hey.)
And――,
Subaru:「I’m sorry.」
Subaru apologised to Regin who was in front of him with a single phrase. The true meaning of his apology this time was far more clear than the vagueness of the one from some time before. However, Regin never understood the real meaning.
――That was because before Regin could understand, his head had been engulfed by light and had evaporated.
Subaru:「――――」
Regin’s headless body collapsed onto the main road without him even letting out a cry of pain. An intense heat burned the wound, and even blood couldn’t flow from the cross section of his neck.
Although it was ethically a mistake to praise how the murder had been carried out so skillfully, it was a blow that was so refined that he wanted to reflexively appraise it.
Subaru:「It’s a thing of splendour no matter how many times I see it.」
Shaula:「It’s the technique that I perfected sniping the Witch Beasts from the top of the tower that approached day in and day out, without having anything else to do for 400 years. Now that I think back on it, those are grey days unfitting for a maiden of age, right?」
Subaru:「You’ve lived for 400 years and you call yourself a maiden of age….?」
Without any emotion at the tragedy before his eyes, Subaru tilted his head at Shaula’s words. And then, dragging Regin’s headless corpse along, he approached his dragon carriage, that had lost its owner.
However, when the earth dragon noticed the approaching Subaru and the others, it immediately started to run away, trying to leave Subaru and others behind on the main road.
In an instant, a white light shot past Subaru’s side and pierced through the dragon carriage’s wagon. The attack penetrated into the earth dragon’s flesh as it still pulled the dragon carriage along, burning its insides, piercing through its head and finally snatching away its life.
Though it was a rather skillful blow, it was an unwanted one.
Subaru:「……HEEEY」
Shaula:「Th-there weren’t any hard feelings! It was legitimate self-defence! It’s the result of having braced my legs trying to stop it in my own way! It’s just that my killing machine habits don’t go away so easily!」
Subaru:「I’m not angry. I’m not angry, but we may not be able to get ahold of a dragon carriage again now. When are we going to upgrade from travelling on foot..……」
He had no luck at all with earth dragons when he brought Shaula along like this. Thanks to her accompanying him, it’d already been determined that Subaru would be forced to keep walking on foot forevermore.
Shaula:「S―o, isn’t it as I always say? Even if it’s not an emergency, when it’s Master, I will always carry you on my back~ And when I do, I won’t even mind if you carelessly fondle anything strange! How’s that!?」
Subaru:「It sounds like you’re gonna ask for money after or something.」
Evading Shaula’s temptation with his blunt words, Subaru pulled Regin’s corpse into the forcibly stopped dragon carriage. The large body of the earth dragon had also fallen onto the main road having received the same fate as its owner, all the way to the point of having lost its head. Of course, the earth dragon couldn’t be taken away with Subaru’s strength. But.
Subaru:「For now, go drag the earth dragon along with the dragon carriage to the forest’s vicinity. I will try go to the village that Regin spoke of. ――Do you get where I’ll be?」
Shaula:「It’s a piece of cake. I should try to make it so they aren’t found, right?」
Subaru:「If they can’t be found for a short while, that’s fine. It’s enough if they can be left hidden for 2 or 3 days.」
Getting off from the dragon carriage, he instructed Shaula to conceal the tragedy that had happened. Raising her hand in a salute of acceptance, Shaula grabbed ahold of the huge body of the earth dragon and easily lifted up its corpse in her slender arms. The dragon carriage also began to be pulled.
Whilst she went to hide the dragon carriage in the forest, Subaru turned to look towards where the village was.
Subaru:「Now then.」
Subaru started to walk, not without purpose, but with a set goal in mind. He walked straight towards the village Regin should have returned to.
How many people knew『Natsuki Subaru』 in that village?
Either too few or too many, whichever it was, it made him feel heavy in heart. But, although it was true that it was a matter of unpleasantness, were he to avoid it then he wouldn’t be able to pick the right path.
It was a heartless choice, but it was one he had no choice but to do.
If. ――If I can at least get back『Natsuki Subaru』, everything will be alright.
Subaru:「Will getting him back even be effective?」
It’s for that reason that Subaru made the choices『Natsuki Subaru』couldn’t take.
※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※
Part 3
Subaru:「――hk, hhaa」
Subaru let the book that he had grasped in both hands drop the instant his consciousness spiralled back to reality.
His knees trembled, and his breaths had become ragged. An unbearable sense of dizziness, like the sort you’d get from standing up too fast, overwhelmed him despite him sitting on the ground.
――It felt like he’d never get used to it no matter how many times he experienced it.
Subaru:「Hhaa, hhaa……」
Brusquely wiping away the cold sweat dripping down his forehead with his sleeve, Subaru kept taking deep breaths and calmed his heartbeat down. Was the cause of his irregular heartbeat the chaos that came from the dissonance between his soul and body?
Each time he tackled a book, one after the other, he’d find that within the book, the thing he called 『himself』had become hazier.
A sane human being probably wouldn’t be able to know the boundaries between themselves and others if this kept being repeated, and they’d melt together. Or rather, they’d probably lose sight of their very self.
Shaula:「Master, are you alright?」
Subaru:「……Yeah, I’m okay, I’m fine. More importantly, have you found the next book?」
Shaula:「Lemme see…I’m still looking. It’s like matching pictures, they’re difficult to find~. I’m really not cut out for this kind of menial work…..」
Voicing out her concerns for the roughly breathing Subaru, Shaula crossed her fingers at her own disappointing lack of progress. However, Subaru had no intentions of blaming such a fragile girl.
That was because he was making her help with something unsuited for her, just like she herself was aware of. On top of that, there were bounds even to his inhumanity in going as far to rebuke the girl who’d been doing his bidding without getting anything in return.
What she did, was more than enough. There was a line that should be drawn even for Subaru, who kept running on the path of inhumanity.
Subaru:「I know that you’re not cut out for this, but I’m counting on you Shaula. There’s no one else who can lend me their strength besides you.」
Shaula:「It’d be nice Master, if you could say it as….. just me.」
Subaru:「……Right now, the one I’m counting on, is just you.」
Shaula:「Hehe, now that makes me satisfied.」
Puffing out her cheeks, Shaula once again dove back into the sea of books with a satisfied expression on her face. Although presumably she wouldn’t hold onto that good mood for very long, her eyes were indispensable for finding the books.
Her presence was a matter of life or death for Subaru, even insofar to the meaning of her being simple manpower.
Subaru:「――――」
Subaru picked up the book that had dropped to his feet that he had been reading before, and ran his finger across the title written on its spine.
The title of the black book was plain and simple;『Regin Suwen』was written there.
That youth, who had happened to meet『Natsuki Subaru』in the past, had unluckily lost his life by meeting the current Natsuki Subaru―― Subaru had experienced his life in the book as if he was him.
The memories of his chance meeting with『Natsuki Subaru』had also certainly been there within that vicarious experience. But.
Subaru:「……They weren’t that well acquainted. From Regin’s perspective,『Natsuki Subaru』was a guy that came along with his older brother and it seems he didn’t know him well.」
Perusing the memories that had become part of himself, Subaru sighed, feeling as if he had wasted effort. In all honesty, he did think that the one who most wanted to sigh was Regin who’d ended up as the victim in this. However his disappointment amidst his feelings of wasted effort were also something that he couldn’t avoid.
Regin:『Hey, no matter how much you look at it, things aren’t like that, wouldn’t you think so, Natsuki-san?』
Subaru:「……Sorry. Even though I’ve snatched away all of your memories, the relationship is still far too thin, and reproducing it has become lower. It doesn’t seem like there are going to be many chances where I am going to pay attention to you.」
Staring reproachfully at the book with his own name written on it, between the bookshelves, Regin gave Subaru a rather profound look. Although it was to be expected, a hint of blame lay thick within his eyes.
After all, just about anyone would be in an awful mood if their death was lambasted as having been useless after being killed.
Being aware of that, Subaru gave him an honest apology and said “Sorry.” However――
Regin:『Either way, I’ve got no choice but to accept that I’ve died. Besides, if your objectives are fulfilled, Natsuki-san, then everything will go back to how it was, right? Let’s hope for that.』
Subaru:「Ooh, you have the tolerance of a saint. I’m sorry to be taking advantage of your generosity, but I’m depending on it. I will pay back this debt when I put things back exactly to how they were.」
Regin:『Then let’s not hope for it, instead, let’s await it.』
Shrugging his shoulders, Regin waved and then started to fade from Subaru’s sight like mist. After he watched him disappear, Subaru put Regin’s『Book of the Dead』back on its shelf. And then, he picked up a paper that was nearby and crossed something out with his quill. ――The paper was a register which had a lot of names written on it. And just now, he had drawn a horizontal line where Regin’s name was.
Subaru:「……And that makes 23.」
As he counted the numbers he had squiggled out, Subaru cracked the bones in his neck, knowing he had a long way to go.
The library which had the『Books of the Dead』on show――『Taygeta’s』hostility was still going strong. And no matter how many times he’d visited it, it wouldn’t give Subaru a in-library search feature or the like.
Since he used it so frequently, he thought it wouldn’t really hurt if the service improved even a little bit. But, it sure was really annoying.
Beatrice:『Betty’s forbidden library was quite big too, but it’s not at all comparable to this one, I suppose. No one ought to complain about that again, in fact, Subaru.』
Julius『I agree. It looks nearly impossible to find a specific book in such an enormous library. You have to sit yourself down and deliberately apply yourself to the task. You’ll just keep exhausting yourself if you keep on going in blindly.』
Just as the complaints had crossed through his mind, Beatrice and Julius had given him their suggestions as they looked around the library. Their words were kind to Subaru, but that was why he stubbornly shook his head.
Of course, if he chose to devote time to it as had been suggested to him, then perhaps his feelings of wasted effort and anxiety would be eased just a little, but――
Subaru:「Trying to ease them would be a luxury in the first place. I don’t have any free time to sit around doing nothing. I have to reach a solution as soon as I can…..」
Ram:『What if you don’t reach it? Will something change if Barusu hurries up a little?』
Subaru:「It’ll change! ――Everything will change!」
Ram glared at Subaru as he declared that with clenched fists, with her cold, pale crimson eyes. Turning away from her gaze, Subaru stared down at the list of names he held within his hand.
The list had all of the names of each person from the same village as Regin written down. Judging from what he consulted from Regin’s memories, the likelihood that they’d be helpful in getting anything conclusive was quite low. Low, but not zero.
Then, if that was the case――
Emilia:『Will what Subaru wants to do come true if you read the books of those people?』
Subaru:「Emilia-tan……」
Subaru hesitated for a split second at Emilia’s question, worry adorning her eyes. But, Subaru nodded at Emilia like he was saying it to himself above anything else.
Subaru:「Of course it will. Ever since…. Ever since I forgot everything, I’ve just been causing everyone unimaginable trouble. This is the only way I can get everything back.」
Emilia:『I didn’t even consider that…..』
Subaru:「――That’s not good enough!」
Emilia’s expression grew gloomier as if she were unable to bear to look at the angered Subaru. Subaru had raised his voice at her without meaning to.
And as he stared straight at the shocked Emilia’s eyes, Subaru continued to speak.
Subaru:「For crying out loud, please don’t say that. No matter what it takes… I will try and get『Natsuki Subaru』back. And after that……」
Emilia:『……And after that?』
Subaru:「And after that I’ll meet you all once again…… I’ll meet you all and start anew.」
It was after losing everything, that he realised everything was important, far too late. Why didn’t people realise that what they had in their hands was irreplaceable until the load they carried on their back got lighter?
Unless losing everything and recovering didn’t go hand in hand, then why――
Emilia:『――――』
Emilia stared at Subaru with somewhat feeble eyes, as Subaru forced those words out into a mutter. Complex emotions filled those amethyst eyes which even Subaru couldn’t read.
He should have been able to clearly see everything about her. And yet, his anxiety would be cruelly stirred up in the instances where he didn’t understand what lay in her heart.
What did Emilia think? What did Emilia feel? And how did she receive the current Subaru?
Those answer were――
Shaula:「――Master! I found the next book! Praise me Praise me!」
Subaru:「Ah, aaah, well done. You did great, Shaula.」
Shaula:「Huhehehehehe~」
Shaula, who had come jumping in, had forced his dialogue with Emilia to come to an end. Subaru gave Shaula a head-pat; as a result, her face relaxed and she gratefully accepted it.
The book she held in her hand definitely matched the name written on his list.
Subaru:「……How long has『Natsuki Subaru』been sleeping inside you?」
Receiving the book from Shaula, Subaru posed this question at the book that couldn’t answer him back.
Even though it was to be expected, the books didn’t concisely answer Subaru’s questions. However, answers did indeed lie within the books. All of his barbaric acts were necessary sacrifices for this purpose.
Subaru:「Fragmented, objective information is good enough. I’ll scrape it all up, and bring it closer to its completed form…..」
Evaluation was something that was assessed and decided by the measure of others.
If that was the case, then if he was able to check everyone’s assessment and if the individual that was being assessed could be checked by the measure of everyone, then he should be able to reconstruct that person.
――And recover『Natsuki Subaru』
That was Natsuki Subaru’s highest priority; his entire journey had been for this purpose.
Of course, all of the sacrifices that had been made, along with all the sacrifices which would be made in the future, were all necessary actions so that Natsuki Subaru could get『Natsuki Subaru』back.
If he could get『Natsuki Subaru』back. If he at least came back.
Subaru:「……If it’s you, I know you would take care of everything possible.」
The memories of Emilia, Beatrice, Ram, Meili, Julius, individuals other than them and in general, all the individuals who had some relation to him. He desired memories like those.
Because, that strength should be in『Natsuki Subaru.』
Because, with that strength――
Subaru:「――Save me」
I’m counting on you,『Natsuki Subaru.』If you’re a hero, then save me.
※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※
Patching together, patching together, continuing to form its shape.
Patching together, patching together, continuing to mould its shape.
Patching together, patching together, continuing to fill in the colours.
Patching together, patching together, patching together, and continuing towards bringing himself closer to completion.
※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※
――『Murder becomes a habit.』
That was one of the phrases the famous detective, Hercule Poirot, left the world with.
The meaning of this phrase didn’t refer to a person who had killed a human being and then suddenly woke up with a preference for murdering people, who then kept repeating the crime to satisfy their cravings.
It referred to someone who once solved their problems by murder, and for them, whenever another problem arose, they would think about trying to break through the problem through murder again.
――『Murder becomes a habit.』
But, if killing really was linked to the solution of the problem, could it even be said that it was the result of murder becoming a habit?
Couldn’t it be said that it wasn’t that murder became a habit, but rather that unavoidable circumstances sprang forth.
The situation wasn’t that of adding murder as an option because it had become a habit, but rather such that there was no option other than to murder. Perhaps saying things like murder had become a habit wasn’t possible anymore.
――『Murder becomes.』
To hell with Hercule Poirot. Fictional detectives needn’t talk so pretentiously.
How could he have said it as if he saw through everything!? The reasons behind every situation, behind everything, are tangled together in various complications, with multiple layers of complexity to them.
Don’t disregard those things and make light of them by trying to apply those words to everything.
――『Murder.』
This was the only way when there was no other. It was the most logical when there was no other way to reach the correct answer.
That’s why it wasn’t murder becomes a habit, but rather…
――『Only murder becomes the answer.』
Yeah, that’s right. Of course it was. Only that was the answer. Only that was the correct answer. Only that would cut through the hopelessness of this dead-end; it was a last resort.
Emilia:『Subaru is always helping me out; you’ll end up finding a solution no matter what… My esteemed knight.』
Beatrice:『If Subaru hadn’t been there, Betty would still be completely alone in the forbidden library, I suppose.』
Ram:『Ah well… Barusu is a man with good timing. Even Ram will admit that much.』
Meili:『If Onii-san wasn’t so anno~ying, then I’m sure he wouldn’t have messed up his wo~rk.』
Julius:『Subaru, though perhaps you aren’t aware of it, but I was also saved by you. Your being was a path of hope for me as well.』
Subaru:「I know.」
I know that you all love『Natsuki Subaru』a lot.
I know that you all really care about『Natsuki Subaru.』
I know that the『Natsuki Subaru』that saved you all is a Superman.
I’m aware that everything that the『Natsuki Subaru』that saved you all did has been ruined.
That’s why I have to get him back.
If I can at least get him, if I can at least get『Natsuki Subaru』back.
If I can at least do that, everything will turn out well. It’ll all turn out well.
I have to keep going.
※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※
???:「――Natsuki Subaru has gone mad, and has killed Emilia, Julius and everyone else who accompanied him. I barely escaped with my life and somehow managed to run away and make it here.」
Everyone gathered frowned as they received the report Anastasia had brought back. The meaning behind what was shown on their faces was quite clear.
“Anastasia”:「It’s natural that all of you would judge this as hard to believe. I also deeply regret that I had to bring back this report. But, if we take into account the danger he poses, we cannot afford to look away from reality.」
???:「Anastasia-sama, even if you’re saying that, I don’t thi……」
Echidna:「――I am Echidna. Ana is still sleeping inside this body even now. Though, perhaps staying like this may be a blessing for her.」
???:「……It sounds like such a far-fetched story.」
The one who had cast his eyes down and then replied as he stood in front of Anastasia―― No, Echidna, was a red-haired knight; it was Reinhardt van Astrea.
They were in the Watergate City Pristella―― Those that had gathered there were those who were involved in the Royal Selection. The battle for the city had ended quite some time ago, and each one present was awaiting the report regarding the return of Subaru and the others who had headed to the east.
Emilia and the others had headed to the east to borrow the『Sage’s』wisdom to find a means of restoring the calamitous damage the Witch Cult had caused as a result of the Sin Archbishops having appeared in Pristella.
They were embroiled in anxiety. But, they were awaiting good news.
The grounds to make them believe that lay in one of the members that headed to the east. Those grounds were in none other than Natsuki Subaru himself. ――That would show how he had gone mad, amongst other things.
Reinhardt:「If I completely understood everything you said, then I can’t just nod my head at this story.」
Echidna:「Even if you can’t believe it, it’s the truth. He is not the same person you all knew. Natsuki Subaru has lost his memories, and is obsessed with getting them back. He has chosen the worst way to get them back.」
Reinhardt:「What would the worst way be……」
Echidna:「The『Books of the Dead』that are in the Pleiades Watchtower….. Within them are the impressions and memories of those who have died. The books can be read and understood. Unfortunately, since I haven’t read any of them, I don’t really understand the full extent of their power.」
Further confusion ensued after they received Echidna’s reply informing them of the strange power that the books held.
Of course, the threat that memories could be lost had been shown more than enough already. That too was one of the effects that Subaru and the others had gone to try and do something about.
But, who would have been able to predict that their journey to find a solution to that had ended up causing something of the same ilk.
???:「――I didn’t think Natsuki-san could do it alone. If his aim is reading the『Books of the Dead』, then how is he going about it?」
Reinhardt:「Otto, do you believe this?」
Reinhardt widened his eyes and turned to look at Otto who had let loose this coldly resounding question. With a glance at the『Sword Saint’s』blue eyes, Otto nodded with an「Indeed」
Otto:「Anastasia-sama….. or was it Echidna-san now? There’s no reason for her to lie to us like this. It’s too abnormal, and it doesn’t make sense. In fact, I can only think that something unexpected must’ve happened for her to have came back alone like this.」
Reinhardt:「That’s……But」
Otto:「I don’t want to believe it either. I don’t want to believe such a thing.」
Clenching his fist, Otto said this with a trembling voice to the persistent Reinhardt. Anyone who heard that trembling voice would grasp just how much emotion was overwhelming the pit of Otto’s stomach.
Seeing the regret etched on the one he viewed as a big brother’s face, Garfiel, who was standing next to him, anxiously said:「Brotto……」
Echidna:「……Otto-kun’s guess is correct. Even if in losing his memories, Natsuki Subaru’s behaviour pattern changed…. If he was alone, Emilia and Julius and so on should have been able to restrain him with ease. What got in the way of that plan was the one who was helping him… Shaula.」
Garfiel:「Shaula……? Isn’ that th’ name of th’『Sage』who oughta be in th’ watchtower? Did that guy do somethin’ to captain…..No, this’s confusin’. It’s like in『Osmund’s Hesitation』…..」
Echidna:「Sorry, but I can’t afford to wait until your confusion has calmed down. As you guessed, Shaula is the name of the watcher in the watchtower. Borrowing what she said, she kept saying that the『Sage』was her Master all the time. She ended up not being the『Sage』though…」
Reinhardt:「There are various things I want to ask, but…. just to make sure, is this Shaula collaborating with Subaru?」
Reinhardt posed this question to make sure, and Echidna nodded. The place went into an uproar at her confirmation.
It was an unexpected betrayal from the hero who had tried to save the Watergate City from the Sin Archbishops. And the one that accompanied him in his transformation was the『Sage』, one of the three great heroes of yore.
Who wouldn’t try and lament the world in this cruel situation which was like a nightmare within a nightmare.
Echidna:「……It isn’t because I want vengeance that I brought the truth back here.」
Suddenly, Echidna, with her face pointed down, muttered those words amidst the confusion that was unfolding at her report.
Catching her reply, Reinhardt raised his eyebrows and said:「Echidna?」As the gazes of several individuals collected on them, Echidna let out a short sigh.
Echidna:「Given Ana’s feelings, and the time I myself spent with Julius, I guess it would be justifiable to embroil myself in anger at Natsuki Subaru who killed him …… But, I’m exhausted.」
Reinhardt:「You’re exhausted?」
Echidna:「It may be true that I detested him, and that he detested me. But, even if he’s just a desperate child who’s approaching me shaking his fist, I’m exhausted.」
Shaking her head feebly, Echidna slowly stood up.
She had Anastasia’s face and spoke with Anastasia’s voice, but if she had really been her, then such a frail look would have never floated across her face.
Echidna:「I will leave this stage. The cruelty of ever bringing Anastasia back to this stage is unbearable. We have made undoable mistakes.」
Reinhardt:「Doing that would……」
Echidna:「I know you have no bad intentions. But sometimes, giving up is the best thing you can do. Persuading me not to give up will only lead to anguish. I am… quitting here.」
Following that, not a single person had any words that would stop the completely heartbroken girl. Echidna of course knew that no one here had anything which would stop her.
Since she knew that, she faced away from those who had gathered, and left the place. ――And just as she had stated before, she left the stage of the Royal Selection itself.
Echidna:「I’m praying for your good fight, all of you. ――Please, I want you all to be careful.」
That was the final report that the only member that had returned back safely from the expedition to the Pleiades Watchtower left behind. All it did was stir up a heavy anxiety.
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???:「……What’re ya gonna do from here?」
Ricardo, who was walking next to her, asked her that question as they walked on the way back. To that, Echidna closed her eyes.
The wound where Ricardo had lost his arm was serious; the part which he had lost that had once been a thick and burly arm was not attached there anymore. Instead, what had been attached there was something like a hook-hand. It could be said that the attitude of not giving up the fight even as he was now was rather like him, but――
Echidna:「It’s as I said. I give up. It’s wise. From this point on, I don’t think I will try and pretend to be Ana in her body…….Though, at the very least, I will fulfill the minimum responsibilities towards the Hoshin Company.」
Ricardo:「What’re ya sayin’ the minimum responsibilities arrrrr….?」
Echidna:「The breakup of the company, and I have to try and help out the Employees with their next job. The company itself will probably do fine if it’s left to Vice-President Chuden.」
Ricardo:「――――」
Echidna:「I get that you’re dissatisfied. But, it’s something that can’t be helped.」
Though her true colours hadn’t been revealed then, Echidna and Ricardo had been together for a long time. Though it had been a one sided acquaintanceship, she did have an appreciation for the strong emotions that Ricardo directed at Anastasia.
And that was because they were the exact same emotions that Echidna held for Anastasia.
If Ricardo held emotions like of a father’s for Anastasia, then Echidna was the same as well; she probably held emotions like of a mother’s for Anastasia.
That’s why――
Echidna:「I think that I will part with the『Iron Fang』as well. From now on Ricardo, you are free to do as you like.」
Ricardo:「If I’m free ta do as I like, then I’m gonna search for a way ta wake up Miss.」
Echidna:「……If you still have your eyes set on that in this situation where our best chance was cut off, then I can’t say anything against that. It’ll be best if the young ones of the『Iron Fang』accompany you, right?」
Echidna couldn’t fling away Ricardo’s attitude as stubbornness like that. He too was serious about protecting the ones he wanted to protect, and not giving up on the ones he couldn’t give up on. There was nothing more cruel than judging his plight as meaningless before he started anything.
There was no need for Ricardo to give up just because Echidna had.
Nevertheless――
Echidna:「Even I don’t know whether Ana would be delighted by your attitude.」
Ricardo:「……If she scolds me, then ah well. And what’s more, how can I give up without first makin’ sure!? I’m doin’ this because…. I’m Ana-bo’s actin’ foster father.」
Echidna:「――――」
Ricardo:「Can a father who abandons his daughter really be called a father? No matta’ what anyone says, I will… NEVER give up.」
There wasn’t a single hint of sarcasm towards Echidna in the resolute Ricardo’s declaration. However, being well aware of her own weaknesses, it stabbed deeply into Echidna’s chest. As a result, Echidna let a dry smile float across her face in admiration of Ricardo’s strength.
And then――
Echidna:「――Ricardo, you are really」
Echidna was about to continue her words by saying, “strong, huh.”
Or, if she had the time for it, she may have wanted to ask whether it was possible for her to get that kind of strength as well.
――But, there was no time for that.
Echidna:「――――」
A feeling like a tremor shook underneath their feet, and in an instant, Echidna saw Ricardo stretching out his arm. His thick, hook-handed arm grabbed Echidna by the scruff of her neck and her feet were lifted up into the air.
With Ricardo having hooked her up, she was able to see what was going on, and that was the last thing she did.
The very next instant, a torrent of water rushed towards them with tremendous force, engulfing Echidna, Ricardo and the city, and then continuing on to wash away absolutely everything.
――The flood which the Witch Cult had botched up, now once again assailed the Watergate City which had previously escaped disaster.
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Part 4
Subaru let out a short sigh as he gazed down at the city that was being swallowed up by the flood.
The city’s design was built in the shape of a mortar so that if water was poured into it, there would be no way out. It definitely was extremely effective, like pouring water into an ant nest.
Subaru:「As expected of the city used for the decisive battle against the Witchbeasts…. the effectiveness of the trap was incredible.」
According to knowledge, the city had originally been erected to bring down a Witch, Witchbeasts, and the like; in accordance with that, the efficacy of opening the watergates was immense.
The water’s violence dragged the city to the bottom of its surface in an instant, and engulfed its inhabitants before they had any time to escape.
???:『I see, it’s a thing of splendour doooooooon’t you think? With this, many of the people that know you were dealt with all at once…….I guess I’m okay to think that your self-discovery is progressing foooooward, right?』
Subaru:「……Shut up」
Behind Subaru, who was overlooking the devastation, the tall clownish figure let his unscrupulous thoughts spill out. His facial expression didn’t express delight, though it did seem that he had gotten a suitable response in the results in front of his eyes. As the plan had been put into effect using his knowledge and advice, it’s wasn’t that he didn’t understand his thoughts, but.
???:『Master sure has poor taste…. 』
The young figure of a maid was looking at the clownish figure with an expression of disdain. The young girl, who adorably gave off a seemingly intelligent impression, snuggled closer to Subaru and sneakily took hold of his hand.
Squeezing her hand back, Subaru gave her a fleeting nod.
Subaru:「Petra, how are things looking?」
Petra:『Ummmm, well, it seems like Shaula-san did everything right. Since all four control towers were used I don’t think anyone’s managed to get away……….Maybe in the shelters as well.』
Subaru:「……I see. I’m sorry to make you deliver such a painful report.」
Petra put on a brave smile even when she was asked for her objective opinion.
The girl which Subaru knew was certainly stout of heart, but she was nevertheless an ordinary child with nothing special about her. Of course, that didn’t mean he didn’t feel guilt for dragging her into this, but――
???:『If you’re going to get so emotional, I would have preferred if you didn’t start this in the first place. Subaru-sama is still such a half-baked individual, isn’t he.』
Subaru:「Ack, I don’t even have anything I can say back when you put it like that.」
The anger of the blonde haired maid, Frederica, who had brought her condemnations to him, didn’t clear up so easily.
She gave more weight to the tragedy that had happened to the people around her rather than the tragedy which she had witnessed. In that sense, it seemed like she’d never forgive Subaru’s actions.
This wasn’t the only reason why; it was also an emotional matter. Were he to look at this from a logical perspective, and were he to be unexpectedly honest with his feelings, he would be made to feel the kinship by blood she had with Garfiel.
Subaru:「Either way, I only know about Garfiel from others as well.」
Muttering it out with a sigh, Subaru gently brushed his fingers into his fringe. Brusquely scratching his head, he heaved out a strong sigh and shifted his attention to focus on the fight.
Clownish Figure:『Well then? What are you going to do neeeeeeeeext, Subaru-kun.』
Leaning forward, he gave a tch at Roswaal who was looking at him from the side. And then, Subaru declared「It’s as decided」as if he was spitting out a curse.
Subaru:「It’ll go according to plan. ――It’s best to attack the most troublesome guy to start things off with.」
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Patching together, patching together, continuing to form its shape.
Patching together, patching together, continuing to mould its shape.
Patching together, patching together, continuing to fill in the colours.
Patching together, patching together, patching together, and continuing towards bringing himself closer to completion.
※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※
Art Source: @GEAR_Art_
Otto:「Cough, Ghack……!」
Garfiel:「Brotto, are y’ okay!? Cough the water up! Cough ‘t all out!」
With tears streaming down his face, Otto violently coughed so that he could force out the water that had filled up his lungs. Seeing how dangerous his condition was, Garfiel helped him cough the water out; but, as expected, having his body shaken up and down, dangling upside down by his feet racked Otto’s mind and body in pain.
Though thanks to that, he managed to cough out all the water that had gotten into his lungs.
Garfiel:「Shit! What th’ fuck happen’d…..!?」
Otto:「……The city’s watergates have been opened, I think. As a result, the streets have been swallowed up by water. Even though we desperately fought to hold the Witch Cult back, everything has come to nought.」
Otto muttered this to Garfiel, whose fangs were trembling, as they gazed at their surroundings at the spectacle of the submerged city. After hearing that, he took a look at his friend’s green eyes, his friend whom he regarded as a younger brother, and noticed that they were warped by grief. Otto cast his gaze down.
The current state of the city that had plunged into an all-despairing situation could be seen everywhere, even if one were to take just a glimpse. Luckily, Otto had been picked up by Garfiel and hoisted over his shoulder, with them fleeing to a height where the water barely reached. However, how many people in the city would have managed to do the same?
Garfiel:「Everythin’s at the bottom of the water…..」
Rooted to the spot and wide-eyed, Garfiel was stricken by the enormity of the flood that had assailed the city. Although he hadn’t heard the story in detail, Otto got the feeling that Garfiel had experienced quite an impactful encounter in Pristella. The existence of such a desirable opponent would have been something quite important for him.
――This flood had even ruthlessly washed away the people Garfiel held emotional bonds with.
Otto:「……No, not just that.」
Though he was worried for Garfiel’s state of mind as well, what Otto must have been concerned about was the others who had gotten caught up in this.
Starting with Anastasia―― Echidna, who had brought back the unexpected report, and everyone else, including the Royal Selection candidates that had gathered to hear her report would have fallen victim to the disaster.
They had been gathered to warn them about what had happened, but it seemed like it had ended up backfiring.
Otto:「I’m going to say something harsh. Garfiel, please stand up. We have to deal with this situation just like we did the Witch Cult last time.」
Garfiel:「B-But…. Brotto……Y’see…..」
Otto:「WHAT WOULD BECOME OF US NOW IF WE SIT HERE LIKE SIMPLETONS DOING NOTHING!? NEITHER NATSUKI-SAN OR EMILIA-SAMA ARE HERE! PLEASE STAND UP, GARFIEL! IT’S JUST US LEFT!」
Garfiel:「――――」
Grabbing him by the collar, Otto shouted at his friend whom he regarded as a younger brother whose face had a look of feebleness etched on it. He knew it had been overly harsh of him to explode like that, but with him being so slow to grasp how things were in this moment, he had chewed him out.
In having had his withered heart be the object of his scolding, a fire was kindled within Garfiel that made him stand up.
If he could achieve that, then he did not care about being deemed as insensitive. ――Even if he was hated by Garfiel later, it would be far better than if he wasn’t able to fulfill his duty.
Otto:「We need to search for survivors, and then meet back up with the Royal Selection candidates, the Knights or anyone else who might be left. If the attack on the city is from a hostile individual, then we need to reassemble our forces and fight against them…..」
Garfiel:「――Tch! BROTTO!」
Otto:「――!?」
By instructing Garfiel about his compassionless decision, Otto drove that in as a persuasion for Garfiel. Pushing out his chest, Garfiel roared.
And immediately afterwards, a flash of light pierced through straight in front of Otto, who had fallen onto his backside on the rooftop, at tremendous speed, faster than the eye could see.
Otto:「GHAAAAAAAAAAA!」
For a moment, Otto’s entire body was engulfed by burning pain from the light which had slightly grazed his chest. There wasn’t any bleeding. But, there was a scorch mark on his shirt, and his skin underneath it had been charred.
The true form of the white light of now was pure, intense heat. And, that white light was――
Garfiel:「RRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAA――!!」
Giving a howl of rage, Garfiel forcibly parried away each one of those white light rays, those white rays of death, that hurtled towards them at lightning fast speed.
Wielding the silver shields fitted on his arms, Garfiel challenged that overwhelming force of incredible speed head on. A hyper-dimensional battle which Otto could not keep up with had commenced.
Nevertheless, he did have a decent idea about what was happening.
Otto:「Where did it come from……」
Whilst he endured his pain, Otto looked around his surroundings and concentrated on finding where the flashes of white had been fired from. It was likely that the culprit who had fired those attacks at Otto and Garfiel was also the culprit who had opened the floodgates.
Of course, the enemy that came to his mind was them being a Witch Cultist――
Otto:「――hk, from all the way over there!?」
Far, far away, at the edge of his sight, one of the floodgate’s control towers came into view―― A flash of light could be seen from where Otto and Garfiel were, coming from the top of the tower which stood almost on the opposite side of the city.
Immediately after he thought he’d seen that flicker, the light instantly came surging to where they were. Somehow, Garfiel was still fending them off right now, but――
Garfiel:「THINGS ARE GONNA KEEP GETTIN’ WORSE! BROTTO, FIND A PLACE TO HIDE! MY AMAZIN’ SELF’S GONNA BEAT THE SHIT OUTTA THIS BASTARD!」
Otto:「GARFIEL! WILL YOU BE OKAY IF YOU GET CLOSER!?」
Though Garfiel roared that out, by no means was what he was saying a good idea in this situation.
The speed at which the approaching rays of white light moved at was completely out of the ordinary; the distance which separated them from their opponent was such that Garfiel was only barely able to mount a defence against them.
If he got closer, the time he would have to deal with the rays of light would decrease respectively. Even the difference of an augenblick would be fatal in a hyper-dimensional battle.
Garfiel:「EITHER WAY, THERE’S NO OTHER WAY! IT’S JUS’ US TWO! ISN’ THAT RIGHT!?」
Otto:「――. You’re right. GARFIEL!」
Garfiel:「HYYYAAAAH!!」
Repeating what Otto had said before, Garfiel took a mighty step forward and leapt up. Making use of a building which could barely be classed as a foothold in the city still submerged by the flood, Garfiel zealously drove forward, and determinedly made his way towards the city’s control tower where the white flashes of light had been coming from.
Garfiel:「GRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa――!!」
One shot after another, Garfiel braced himself and somehow managed to keep ahold of his footing whilst the shock of each impact racked his body as if paralysing him to the bone.
The opponent was formidable.
In addition to their attacks’ pinpoint accuracy from so far away, the sheer amount of mana that they put into these potent attacks without missing a beat, was far from normal.
If he considered his position where he had kept his distance from the start, it was a terribly favourable situation for his opponent.
Otto:「Even so……」
His grasp of how skilled his opponent wasn’t sufficient enough that he could give this up. And beyond that, what his opponent had done was seriously, completely, completely unforgivable.
It was likely that an unimaginable amount of people had become victims with the Watergate City Pristella sinking to the depths. One after another other, tragedy had engulfed the city which still hadn’t completely recovered from the after-effects of the Witch Cult’s last attack. ――Caught up in the midst of that as well, was the family which Garfiel was tied together with by blood.
Garfiel:「――Tch!」
So to not let his mind dwell on that, Garfiel gritted his teeth, and frantically shook his head.
But, in the end, try as he might, nothing about what was on his mind would change. Sorrow and anger wasn’t what mingled together in the depths of Garfiel’s chest; rather, his heart was engulfed by a dark fury, as he continued to grow more enraged.
If he put that dark fury into his fangs and claws and struck down the enemy with it, then ――
???:「――Garfiel」
Suddenly, a voice reached through to his skull amidst his tempestuous fury. The voice had just called out his name. If it had been just that, Garfiel wouldn’t even have taken any notice of it.
However――
Garfiel:「――Captain?」
It was a completely different story if that voice belonged to the person he had long awaited to return. Letting his green eyes spin around, Garfiel looked around in the middle of the hyperspeed battle for the figure which had spoken.
――From the start, Garfiel hadn’t believed a word of the report which Echidna had brought back.
To begin with, Echidna was a name which Garfiel couldn’t put any trust in. Of course, he had warned Subaru about the dangers of the being that called herself that name, and on top of that, she had forced him to head to the Pleiades Watchtower.
Even so, on seeing Echidna return taking the form of Anastasia, Garfiel had regretted his thoughts as having been shallow, naive and immature.
He had considered following her so to find Subaru, Emilia and the others as soon as possible.
It was just after he had proposed setting up that discussion to Otto that the flood had come rushing into the city. It seemed like Otto was thinking as he usually did, but Garfiel sunk his strength into his fangs and adamantly refused to admit that his thoughts had been wrong.
For Garfiel, it didn’t seem like Subaru was the sort who’d screw up.
That’s why Garfiel found hope in having heard Natsuki Subaru’s voice here. He would turn the tables around in this situation where absolutely everything had come to a dead-end.
He looked around for his figure so that he could cling onto such a convenient illusion――
Subaru:「Your heart can’t grasp the most important thing about yourself. ――Still, your family’s eyes are sharp.」
The moment that he came into view, Garfiel furrowed his brows in bewilderment. Not because the mutter had reached his ears. His mutter had been inaudible. What had caused the change in Garfiel’s facial expression was purely his surprise at what was in front of his eyes.
Garfiel:「――――」
Beneath his eyes, there was a figure looking up at Garfiel, who was leaping towards the white light. His appearance certainly seemed to be the same as the one he knew, but.
Garfiel:「――Who th’ fuck are you.」
When he shifted his attention to his nose, a familiar smell slipped into his nostrils. However, it was his instinct, not his five senses, that tried to deny the familiar figure below him.
A lapse that lasted not even a fraction of a second was born in his thoughts.
Nevertheless, it was a fatal lapse.
Moving towards there was――
???:「――Gotcha! Tah-dah!」
Garfiel:「Ngh」
From in front of him, a black haired woman came plunging forward, and threw out a kick with a semi-enthusiastic cry. Catching her kick immediately with both of his shields, Garfiel absorbed the attack which felt like he had been rammed by a dragon carriage.
Even so, she was not an opponent with whom he could deal with in this situation. He couldn’t afford to direct his attention in two different directions, both in front of him and beneath him.
Black-Haired Woman:「Not so bad, but myyyy love for Master is a 100 times better than that .」
With a smile of satisfaction adorning her face, her palm rose towards the front of Garfiel’s face. In an instant, with all of his hair standing on end, Garfiel tensed his body and quickly moved his face backwards――
「*Squelch*」
The blow pierced straight through Garfiel’s abdomen and his organs spilled out from his back.
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――Otto’s thoughts spun rapidly as he looked at the petals of blood blooming in mid-air.
Otto:「――hk」
Clenching his teeth, Otto cursed the cold-hearted part within himself. It was quite the odious thing to him that under these circumstances he was trying to calmly get a grasp of the situation. His friend whom he regarded as a younger brother had been blown away right in front of his eyes. And even then, he still couldn’t get emotional at all.
Even in this overwhelmingly unfavourable situation, Otto’s attention was focused on his surroundings in an attempt to find a means of escape.
If he used his『Divine Protection of Anima Whispering』then a faint glimmer of hope would emerge, no matter what the situation was. By putting faith in that mantra, he’d overcome every single hardship he’d come across up until now.
That’s why――
???:「It’s regrettable, but even rats end up drowning when they’re soaked in this much water. Seems that the guy you were talking with is nowhere to be seen.」
Otto:「――――」
A voice, accompanied by the sound of footsteps, quietly struck Otto’s eardrums.
The sound of footsteps slowly approached within the world which seemed to have fallen dreadfully still. Swivelling his head around to look at where the footsteps were coming from, Otto held his breath for a moment.
And then, he let out a short gasp.
Otto:「……You truly are beyond recognition, Natsuki-san.」
Subaru:「Is that so? If you’re talking about me, then I don’t really understand myself well, but….」
Otto:「 I think you’ll clearly see what I mean if you look at a mirror. Ahh, that’s right. Didn’t Echidna-san’s story say you lost your memories. Is it because of that that you don’t understand yourself?」
Subaru:「Hahah, maybe so. More clearly, if I could be different in every single aspect, then well, I’d definitely give this up, but…..」
Whilst scratching his cheek, the opponent laughed at Otto’s jabs. What should he call his opponent; what name should he call out? Composure and impulsiveness cried out in unison within Otto’s head. Hesitating on the right choice of what to call that, hesitating on there being no other way to call out to that, he shouted.
Otto:「You’re……」
Subaru:「Even if you don’t say it, I know. My name is… Natsuki Subaru. I’m broke beyond compare.」
Otto:「――――」
Subaru:「I’ve heard a lot about you as well. You have quite the reputation. Finally we’ve met, Otto.」
Saying that, that individual―― who took the appearance of Natsuki Subaru, but looked completely different to the one Otto knew, laughed.
His lightless left eye had clouded over, and his hair had gone completely white for god knows what reason. As he smiled from ear to ear like he was somewhat off his rocker, Natsuki Subaru kept laughing.
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Patching together, patching together, continuing to form its shape.
Patching together, patching together, continuing to mould its shape.
Patching together, patching together, continuing to fill in the colours.
Patching together, patching together, patching together, and continuing towards bringing himself closer to completion.
※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※
Part 5
Otto:「――――」
Whilst gazing at the vigilant Otto before him, Subaru let out a long sigh.
Telling him he had changed a lot would be precisely describing what was detestable about him. Of course, even were someone to say he hadn’t changed, in his current mental state, Subaru would just receive that as irony; however, were someone to directly say「You’re a different person」then that would be quite hard for him to accept.
Up until now, this blunt manner of speaking hadn’t even been heard from the people who had come across him that had then been added to the patchwork, or even from the people that had been inside the tower.
Subaru:「Honestly, I’m having quite a hard time handling this.」
Otto:「……What do you mean?」
Subaru:「Didn’t you hear about what I’m doing from Echidna? My memories have vanished into thin air, I’ve been running amok with my head all loopy…….That’s the gist of it anyways.」
Otto:「Of course I did. I even heard that you’re obsessed with trying to get your memories back.」
Subaru:「I don’t remember saying as much, but…. well, it’s a reasonable guess. After all, every single one of you are quite competent. The only incompetent, no-good human being is me.」
Gently running his hand down his left eye, Subaru muttered this as if he was mocking himself. As he looked on at that gesture, Otto gulped.
Otto:「May I even ask what happened to that eye? 」
Subaru:「Eye….Aah, my left eye? It does look a little bit hazy, but it’s no big deal. Though, it does seem like I hit my head a little bit too much when these shocking things started. For how my hair got this way, well, I didn’t do anything in particular… it just ended up like this on its own. How laughable. 」
Otto:「Hahahaha, how laughable indeed. Are you satisfied?」
Subaru:「Far from it. There’s still a long way to go until I am satisfied. I’m so far away from it to the point that it’s depressing.」
Seeing Otto giving him a dry smile, Subaru also responded by showing him a dry smile.
Originally, it seemed like Otto and Subaru had been good friends, and, indeed he could see that. He got this feeling not only from the eyes of Emilia and Beatrice, or from everyone else in the camp, but it felt like something genuine.
Emilia:『Subaru and Otto-kun always got along so well, they were suuuuuuper heartwarming.』
Beatrice:『Well, in essence, Subaru always used to tease Otto, in fact. I get the feeling that nothing much has changed, I suppose.』
On Otto’s left and right, Emilia and Beatrice each voiced their explanations. As he nodded his head at those explanations, Subaru licked his lips and said「Well then」
Subaru:「I’ve been looking forward to having my『First Reunion』with you for a very long time. Though, I know that you’re one of those bastards that become more dangerous the more time I give you. Sorry, but let’s bring this to an end now.」
Otto:「『First Reunion』is quite the peculiar way of putting it, but putting that aside, if I think about your goal…..wasn’t it a failure?」
Subaru:「Huh?」
Leaning forwards, Subaru frowned. And after that, Otto continued his words with a「How should I put it,」
Otto:「Practically, it was quite the effective move. You found the right moment where everyone gathered in one building and killed them all in one go with a completely unescapable attack… I take my hat off at that. If your opponents get caught up in a natural disaster, they can’t strike back at you, regardless of whether they’re master swordsmen or a mercenary band.」
Subaru:「――――」
Otto:「At this rate, wasn’t it part of your strategy to have let only Echidna-san escape from the Watchtower? You let her escape, so that she’d gather people who knew you through the report she gave. Following that hypothesis, the likelihood of Pristella being at the centre of where everyone would gather was high. There are watergates here.」
Subaru:「……I’m honoured to be praised by you.」
Whilst showing an attitude that he accepted the praise, Subaru rolled his tongue back back into his mouth. Rather, it ought to be Otto who should be praised.
Otto, who had almost hit the nail on the head, had guessed the truth quite well, including that Subaru had allowed Echidna to escape.
Although,
Subaru:「Well, to tell the truth, at first it was by chance that Echidna escaped, but then I realised that she’d be useful after she’d escaped. It was because of that I didn’t chase after her.」
Otto:「I see. I’d have been surprised if you saw that far ahead. It wouldn’t be any leap of the imagination to say that those who lose their memories become quite shrewd. ――But」
Cutting off his words there, Otto glared at Subaru. Recognising the strength of the resolve within his eyes, Subaru put strength into the depths of his own.
And, putting himself on guard, Otto continued his words.
Otto:「In the end, you’ve completely screwed up your endgame.」
Subaru:「I’ve screwed it up? Me? What’s the meaning of that?」
Otto:「……It’s an expression I still don’t understand well, but there isn’t any meaning to it. You don’t get chances like these where you can strike with such an upperhand often. If you’d been earnest about it, then you should have carried out what you set out to do.」
Subaru:「What I set out to do……」
Otto:「You should have aimed straight for Reinhardt-san without getting too greedy.」
Thrusting his finger out at him, Otto firmly declared that to Subaru. Subaru’s eyes flew wide open when he heard that declaration, and taking no note of his astonished face, Otto pressed Subaru for an answer.
Otto:「Weren’t you using the『Books of the Dead』where the memories of others can be read in? If you’re planning to use them to try and get yourself back, Reinhardt-san will become your greatest threat. And if you’re aiming at him, then it’ll be impossible unless you catch him by surprise. From here on out, you’ll have to be on your guard. You’ll never get a second chance.」
Subaru:「So, the moment I clamped my fangs around my prey, I shouldn’t have let go. Is that what you’re saying? 」
Otto:「Indeed, that’s exactly what I am saying. So you sh….」
Subaru:「Kh」
Otto:「――?」
Otto raised his eyebrows at the rather abrupt, strange sound that could be heard coming from Subaru’s throat. His reaction showed surprise, bewilderment and confusion.
Subaru wasn’t play-acting or a trick; his reaction was because of Otto. Such a reaction even may have been quite natural in some respects.
Despite having read between the lines of a lot of what had happened, in the very end, he had mistook what his endgame was.
Subaru:「It’s you, Otto, it’s you who’s misunderstanding.」
Otto:「That’s……」
Subaru:「The one I was aiming for wasn’t Reinhardt. Of course, a lot of hassle would have been saved if he ended up dying amongst the chaos of this flood, but I won’t make any pretenses in relying on such a happy accident.」
Reinhardt’s out of the norm characteristics were generally speaking fully known by everyone. He was the『Sword Saint』that you always heard about in rumour; the act of killing him would be a herculean one―― In any case, it’d be necessary to keep building and building and building a plan to take care of him.
Dying to a casual, lucky hit wasn’t the sort of death that you could expected from a hero.
Subaru:「That’s why I need to try and look for a way to do that if I am kill that guy. I may weaken him, I may surprise attack him, I may set a trap for him, I may even take a hostage. Of course, if I need to kill him, I will do so……… But, he’s low priority.」
Otto:「Then, was the flood simply to get rid of the people who knew you all at once? For certain, the number of people who know you in this city due to what happened the other day has…..」
Otto had tried to continue by saying skyrocketed. But before he could say it, Subaru had held out his palm.
Even Subaru knew what he was trying to tell him. The violence of the Witch Cult that had took place in the Watergate City Pristella had been scrutinised from every angle. Certainly, in that sense, that had been one of the ideas behind having used this city as well. However, that was a trivial factor compared to the biggest reason why.
Subaru’s objective behind causing the flood using the Watergate City as his stage was just one thing.
His main objective was――
Subaru:「――It’s you, Otto.」
Otto:「……Ah?」
Subaru:「This was a way I devised to make sure I could kill you. Anyone else who dies… Well, I guess they’re just bonuses.」
Otto:「――――」
Otto tensed up as if he didn’t understand the meaning behind the objective that Subaru had pointed out.
And then, closing his right eye at the astonished Otto, Subaru spun his head around in a circle, looking around at the scene on the rooftop, reflecting the world around him in his hazy left eye.
Otto:「……Why… me?」
Subaru:「Why did I make such a big deal just for you? It was the embodiment of the utmost caution I have for you. Even having Garfiel beside you was added to the plan as a safety measure.」
Otto:「――――」
Subaru:「Just so you know, this ain’t something I thought by myself, since I don’t trust my thoughts at all. I’ve only just realised I’ve been racking useless wisdom out of my useless head.」
Indeed, Subaru’s cunning did not amount to much.
No satisfactory thoughts arose in Subaru’s mind, with him being naive to the understanding of the rules of the world, disconnected from the secrets of the world, and unfamiliar with the laws of the world.
That’s why――
Subaru:「I made sure to consult with them.」
Otto:「――――」
Those who surrounded the taciturn, stricken Otto were all of his colleagues that were only visible to Subaru’s left eye, and remained forevermore unreflected in Otto’s eyes.
Emilia, Beatrice, Ram, Roswaal, Petra, Frederica; all of his colleagues that made up the Emilia camp surrounded Otto.
Looking at each of their faces one by one, Subaru shrugged his shoulders and said「Isn’t that right?」
Subaru:「Who is… the most troublesome guy from those who know me?」
『Otto-kun』
Emilia replied.
Subaru:「Who is… the most troublesome guy from those who know me?」
『Otto, I suppose』
Beatrice replied.
Subaru:「Who is… the most troublesome guy from those who know me?」
『That would be Otto, wouldn’t it. How bothersome.』
Ram replied.
Subaru:「Who is… the most troublesome guy from those who know me?」
『It would be Ottoooooooo-kun』
Roswaal replied.
Subaru:「Who is… the most troublesome guy from those who know me?」
『Otto-san』
Petra replied.
Subaru:「Who is… the most troublesome guy from those who know me?」
『It’s Otto-sama』
Frederica replied.
Subaru:「――It’s unanimous. Even if Garfiel joined in with them, he’d probably say the same thing.」
Otto:「Who on earth are you talking to……」
Subaru:「Even if you’re trying to buy time, I should mention that it’s pointless. The reason I flooded the city was to kill you. ――Even you won’t find a way to escape from this place, where there ain’t even a single damn rat left.」
This was the reason why Subaru had opened the floodgates and submerged the city in water.
Whether it be water dragon, rat or worm, none of them could get near Otto Suwen. By having been parted from terra firma, he was unable to use the witchcraft he specialised in.
Subaru had orchestrated everything to this point making full use of everyone’s knowledge.
This, and that, and everything was――
Subaru:「――I will not underestimate you. I will not underestimate anyone other than me. You’re all skilled guys. That’s why I will kill you without cutting any corners.」
Otto:「You are……」
???:「――Master」
After receiving Subaru’s powerful declaration of war, a voice interrupted Otto who had tried to continue what he was saying. The one who landed adroitly onto the rooftop was Shaula, half of her body was soaked in bright red blood.
And as she brushed the area around her chest that had become completely stained in blood, she said,
Shaula:「Finally I’m done! Kyaa~ He was so so stubborn. I legit thought he was immortal with how much I knocked about the stuff inside of his stomach and sent him flying!」
Subaru:「You really did take your time…… Did you make sure to finish him off properly?」
Shaula:「I even crushed his head, maybe. Except for Master, human beings die if their heads get crushed, right?」
Subaru:「I don’t get why you’re excluding me. Even I’ll die if I get my head crushed!」
Shaula:「You’re full of surprises~」
Frivolously laughing, Shaula pushed her shoulders up in disbelief. From Subaru’s perspective, the way she thought was quite incomprehensible, but it would be uncouth to meddle into Shaula’s sense of values.
Above all else, she fulfilled the duties that were assigned to her. That was good enough for now.
Subaru:「Thanks for the hard work, Shaula. And now……」
Shaula:「I just need to kill Mr. First-Choice-san, riiight? Butbut, was he really an opponent yahaddago to these lengths for? To me, it really seems that……」
Subaru:「If you’re going to speak of stuff just as a matter of raw strength or weakness, then even I’d be able to finish you off with one hand.」
Otto’s strength was contained in a part within him which was hard to gauge by Shaula’s estimation. That was the conclusion he had come to after having pieced the details together from the stories that he’d heard from Emilia and the others.
Hearing Subaru’s response, Shaula replied with a「Mhm~ Of courssse」in agreement.
And on the other side, Otto, with hatred throbbing through the depths of his heart, was looking on at their exchange.
Otto:「No way, being assessed as the most valued in life and having it backfire like this… this feels the absolute worst.」
Subaru:「Valued in life? You’re misunderstanding it.」
There wasn’t a trace of sarcasm in what Subaru had replied to Otto’s words with; he had spoken from his heart.
This was the truth Subaru had seen from reading everyone from the Emilia Camp’s books. There was no mistaking it.
Subaru:「You were always the most valued from everyone in the camp, Otto!」
Otto:「――Eat shit, you phony.」
To Subaru, who had flashed his teeth and grinned, Otto also flashed his teeth and twisted his face into a terrible grin.
Though those words pierced into Subaru’s chest quite a bit――
「――――」
――In the very next moment, a white flash of light pierced through Otto’s body, and their conversation was forcibly brought to a close.
※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※
Patching together, patching together, continuing to form its shape.
Patching together, patching together, continuing to mould its shape.
Patching together, patching together, continuing to fill in the colours.
Patching together, patching together, patching together, and continuing towards bringing himself closer to completion.
※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※
???:「――This is as far as you’ll go.」
Natsuki Subaru slowly opened his closed eyelids right as those words came into earshot.
Below his eyes, at his feet, Otto’s corpse whose top half had been blown away had fallen there. Garfiel, who had died in battle, should be floating away somewhere in the water’s surface nearby.
What Subaru was doing under these circumstances, as terribly hypocritical as it was, was giving them a silent prayer. Subaru held no grudges against Otto or Garfiel.
There wasn’t any reason for Subaru to hold anything like a grudge against those that he had killed thus far. ――No, he believed that the original Subaru should indeed keep his grudge against Roswaal, who had been behind considerable crimes; but the current Subaru didn’t know the real intentions of Roswaal at that time.
Other than these subtle matters of unease, Subaru didn’t hold any resentment towards anyone else. The one he always bore hatred for, was himself. He bore hatred for himself, who was not『Natsuki Subaru.』
This『phony』version of himself was of no use to anyone.
It was just the ridiculous Natsuki Subaru that tried to collect the bits and pieces of『Natsuki Subaru.』It was just the ridiculous Natsuki Subaru that tried to assemble the patchwork. It was just the ridiculous Natsuki Subaru that tried to form himself from patching himself together in one way or another.
That’s why――
Subaru:「I’d like to apologise, even to you.」
???:「……Subaru」
Turning his head to look back behind him, Subaru gazed ahead of him at Reinhardt, who was standing at the edge of the rooftop.
Though he had seen his figure in the memories of a lot of people, there wasn’t a single trace of cloudiness in his orderly figure. As a matter of fact, he had even managed to not get any of his clothes wet; how on earth had he achieved that?
Subaru:「I see, you’re out of the norm.」
Reinhardt:「Subaru, did you do all of this? …..Otto, Garfiel, and….」
Subaru:「I ordered them killed – if that’s what you mean then yes. And not just those two. A whole ton of people in the city became victims in the flood…… And all by my doing.」
Reinhardt:「Why… why did you do this!? You went to save the people in this city….」
Subaru:「To the watchtower, right? I know. I know all too well. As always, my experiences of it are rather lacking, but I do have some vague gist of it like as if I’d read a manga summary.」
Whilst soaking in Reinhardt’s blame, Subaru spread out both of his arms towards the city.
The city was encroached in the turmoil of having been inundated by the water, but he knew that it had gone through a tough time even before this flood. The scars that had been left due to the violence of the Witch Cult and such were more warped rather than deep.
They had snatched away people’s memories, they had changed people into inhuman forms, they had used overwhelming strength to forcibly subdue those who wouldn’t follow their will, and they had forced their warped thoughts onto others to make them sympathise with them.
It was needless to say the things they did were of the worst nature in the sense that they trampled upon the quintessence of humanity.
But, at the same time, it gave him a certain sort of impression.
Subaru:「――Their plans are full of holes. I’m guessing they go in thinking they can’t lose, and that’s why they go rushing in with such dumbass plans.」
The Sin Archbishops who possessed supernatural-like strength were all sitting still on their abilities. Hadn’t anyone taught those guys? No matter what sort of strength you hold, if you use it the wrong way, then you will be defeated no matter who you are.
Whether it be wisdom, numbers or great talent, you will always be defeated.
Subaru:「I’m not going to challenge you being only partly prepared. Finding a way of making sure I win will only work with the right timing. That’s why I will consult them.」
Reinhardt:「Consult……Is the one deceiving you the girl beside you?」
Shaula:「Huh, meeeee?」
Suddenly piping up, Shaula, who was beside Subaru, widened her eyes in surprise. She stared at Reinhardt as she pointed at herself.
Shaula:「Me deceiving Master… If I could pull such a temptress’ move, I’d have done it looong ago! Master’s soo sexy like this since he doesn’t get caught up in my temptations….. at all! Though, you’re too sexy for your own good!」
Subaru:「Though her position is that of a collaborator, she ain’t got the head to be able to deceive. It’s not really that I’m being deceived by anyone…. No, if I’m forced to say it, I guess it would be a voice from within me.」
Reinhardt:「A voice… from within you……?」
Subaru:「The sleeping lion inside of me is seeking the time of its release and is rampaging.」
After intently listening to Subaru’s response, Reinhardt quickly realised that what he was saying was nonsense. Whilst gazing at Reinhardt’s eyes which were clearly dyed in despair, Shaula nudged her elbow at Subaru’s side, speaking out a「Mastermaster」
Shaula:「Hey, um, that one’s presence is remarkably Reidish. Isn’t that scary?」
Subaru:「Indeed it is. Remarkably scary indeed. It’s because that guy’s Reid’s descendant.」
Shaula:「De-descendant.」
Subaru:「His children’s children, and their children’s children and so on. That’s the nuance of it.」
Shaula:「Uurgh! He can’t seriously be related to Reid, right!? I wasn’t told about this!」
Shaula complained about her disadvantage to Subaru, her facing looking like she’d been ensnared in a Kaizo Trap. In actuality, the memories of being pummeled by Reid were quite clear for Subaru and the others.
(TL Note: To learn more about the provenance of the term Kaizo Trap, refer to this link.)
It was natural that he wouldn’t be able to beat Reinhardt, Reid’s blood relative, in a fair and open battle as well.
Reinhardt:「――I’m sorry, but let’s put an end to your acts of barbarity here. Me being able to do that, is proof of my friendship towards you.」
Subaru:「You say such sad things in spite of us having a relationship where we gatecrashed a wedding ceremony together! Well, though it’s me who made you say it, you know, apparently Emilia-tan was delighted…..」
Reinhardt:「Subaru, stop already. ――Just, stop.」
Subaru:「――――」
Subaru kept his mouth shut at the mournful echo of Reinhardt’s entreaty. Reinhardt’s expression was warped into something quite pitiful. From it, Subaru received a sharp pang as if his chest had been torn open.
It was the same as Otto and Garfiel, where he had no grudge against them.
Subaru didn’t hold any grudges even against Reinhardt. He knew that he was someone who bore no fault. He knew that he was a benefactor that was undeserving of being blamed. He also knew that he had been a good friend.
But despite that――
Subaru:「――I also need the piece inside of you to get back『Natsuki Subaru.』That’s why I will come to kill you one day.」
Reinhardt:「――――」
Subaru:「But, not now. Not today. It’s a matter for tomorrow’s tomorrow.」
A trace of bewilderment clouded Reinhardt’s eyes just after he heard Subaru’s proclamation.
Reinhardt was trying to settle things here right now. In fact, if Reinhardt wanted to do so, Subaru was in a position where he could close the distance with a single step and cut him down in an instant. Even if Shaula made a motion to defend him, it wouldn’t really change the outcome.
But despite that, Subaru could still say――
???:『Assuming Felt managed to take shelter in all of this, I think she’d be somewhere at the edge of the city.』
――And turning towards the direction pointed out by the bald-headed giant, Shaula fired a flash of white light towards there.
「――――」
In an instant, Reinhardt held his breath and flew backwards, following after the soaring blow of light at the exact same speed as it. He hadn’t done that to kill Subaru, who stood in front of him, but rather to rush towards the faraway building where Reinhardt’s master―― Felt had hidden after having survived the flood, so he could knock down that flash of white light.
???:『If you keep something important nearby, then of course, that’s the same as exposing your weak points. The same thing applies to the『Sword Saint』Reinhardt, doooooesn’t it?』
Roswaal, who had given this suggestion let a wicked grin form on his face, and basked in his satisfaction in having outwitted the『Sword Saint.』Giving him a look from the side, Subaru took a short breath, and said.
Subaru:「Shaula, let’s pull back. ――That’s enough for today.」
Shaula:「Ooookay!」
Cheerfully lifting her hand, Shaula wrapped her arm around Subaru’s back. She hoisted Subaru up with unbelievable strength from her slender arms, and with a light bend of her knees, she tried to leap out of the city.
But, just before the first jump had began, Subaru turned towards Reinhardt, and said.
Subaru:「――You are not as omnipotent or superhuman as you think you are.」
That’s why――
Subaru:「――I will absolutely kill you too, Reinhardt.」
※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※
Patching together, patching together, continuing to form its shape.
Patching together, patching together, continuing to mould its shape.
Patching together, patching together, continuing to fill in the colours.
Patching together, patching together, patching together, and continuing towards bringing himself closer to completion.
※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※
???:「――I want you to tell me once again.What is your name?」
???:「Ah, Amue. Amue Sears……」
???:「I see, that’s a fine name, Amue. ……What happened now must’ve been tough.」
Amue:「Hghhgh……」
The red-haired knight, who had seemingly gotten onto one knee to be on the same level as with Amue, spoke those words to her. As soon as she heard those words, the little girl’s tensed emotions snapped loose.
Tears slowly trickled down Amue’s face, and her body began to tremble from the belayed terror that had returned to her.
Then, as he looked on at the sobbing little girl, the knight―― Reinhardt turned his eyes to look at his surroundings and bit his lip; deep worry was brimming in his chest at the terrible spectacle he saw.
Reinhardt:「――――」
Two days ago, an incident had occurred at a small village in the northern parts of the Kingdom of Lugnica.
It took awhile for the incident to be known because the village was located in the remote borderlands, and due to that, it lay quite far from both the Royal Capital and the five major cities. Dispatching the knights, including Reinhardt, had ended up being delayed by several days.
In that meantime, Amue, who had become the sole survivor in the village, had just been sitting there, holding her knees in loneliness. ――She’d been there, surrounded by all of the corpses of her family and the people she knew well.
Reinhardt:「Subaru……」
Reinhardt pensively muttered his name out as he touched the pommel of his『Dragon Sword』which he had holstered by his waist
Given the issues in this kind of incident, there was a good chance that this act of barbarity had been carried out by a Witch Cultist. However, Reinhardt’s intuition naturally saw through to whose hand had carried out this horrendous scene.
Reinhardt:「The ones who did this… If I’m not mistaking it, it was a man and a woman, right? Two young people.」
Amue:「Y-Yeah…. Th-that’s right. Ah, but…..」
Reinhardt:「But?」
As she heaved with sobs, Amue choked up her words as she replied to Reinhardt’s question. Amue hesitated as Reinhardt awaited her to continue her words; his well-shaped eyebrows were furrowed into a frown.
Amue:「I don’t know who the woman was, but, the man was……」
Reinhardt:「The man was?」
Amue:「I hadn’t realised it, but it was like he was talking to someone….」
Reinhardt:「――――」
Was there a trace of hesitation when she conveyed that vague information? Amue’s explanation lacked conviction in it. But, Reinhardt closed his eyes and breathed out a long sigh at her words.
Amue’s perception was correct. That man and woman―― No, Natsuki Subaru was definitely speaking with someone other than the woman who accompanied him, which was as Amue had seen.
Reinhardt didn’t know whether that someone was someone he knew, but――
Reinhardt:「You have my gratitude for providing me this information. The Knight Order should deal with this right away. Do you have any relatives other than your family….. ?」
Amue:「――Ah」
Amu’s fingers gently grasped at Reinhardt’s trouser cuff as he spoke to her with kindness. As if frightened of him leaving her, Amue’s face had turned to disbelief at her own action.
However, given her mental state, that too was natural.
She had lost her family and her hometown too. How much suffering awaited her from here on out?
If he could be useful in distracting her from her anxiety in the midst of this, then.
Reinhardt:「All right. I will stay with you until your safety is ensured. So, I want you to rest assured – Because no one that wishes you harm will get close to you anymore.」
Amue:「*S-sob*……S-sorry, I’m really sorry……」
Reinhardt:「You needn’t apologise. ――Since, you didn’t do anything wrong.」
Taking her hand, Reinhardt silently thought back to the guy who had caused this horrendous spectacle as he watched Amue once again starting to burst into heavy tears.
Reinhardt:「Are you…. Are you satisfied with this? Does it fulfill you? What on earth do you see reflected in your eyes? I just don’t understand. ――Subaru.」
Reinhardt muttered out the name of the person who wasn’t here and closed his eyes.
The figure which was reflected behind Reinhardt’s eyelids was a friend who would eventually come to kill him. That friend would likely go to any means for that.
He was a friend that eventually Reinhardt would have to kill by his hand.
※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※
Part 6
???:『I guess by now that child, Amue, must have been found by Reinhardt-san, right?』
Subaru:「She was the only left alive in the village that burnt down, right? If a child of that age sees Reinhardt, she’ll become relieved and she likely won’t be able to be separated from him. ――With this, he won’t have time to pursue us.」
???:『How cunning, or rather, how crafty, or…….Though, well, I’m not one to talk.』
???:『Tha’s righ’. Brotto ‘n Captain really do damn get on th’ same wavelength at times like these.』
???:「Ewwww」
???:『Y’ damn well fit to a T!』
Pushing his way through a thicket using the branch he held in his hand, Subaru, who was following an off-road path, scrunched up his face into a frown. Otto, who was treading through the forest beside him in the same way had a similar expression on his face. And Garfiel, who was looking on at the two of them, clapped his hands together and clacked his fangs, laughing at the situation.
???:『Hehe- But, it’s great that we’re all together at last, don’t you think? It’s all thanks to Subaru being reaaaally busy and doing his very best.』
Subaru:「When you say it like that, even I get the feeling that my efforts were worthwhile and it lets me have peace of mind. If you, Emilia-tan, feel like I’ve done things properly, then I want you to reward me in so many different ways, but…..」
Emilia:『You want that, but?』
Subaru:「……Well, with me being an innocent boy, it means I can’t let male instinct do the talking for me.」
Subaru looked at Emilia who had innocuously tilted her head forward. As he scratched his cheeks, Subaru turned his face away from her. A gaze stopped him in his tracks ahead of him; that gaze was Ram’s who had turned a look of disdain towards him.
Ram:『Disgusting.』
Subaru:「Cut down in one blow! Generally speaking, I never said that! I want you to praise my feelings since I managed to not say any of my embarrassing desires!」
Ram:『Ram? Praise Barusu? I’d rather heaven and hell be flipped over than do that.』
Subaru:「I’m lower than a cataclysm!?」
Shrugging her shoulders, Ram turned her back from him and began to walk away with grace. Subaru’s shoulders stooped down in dejection seeing Ram’s attitude. And then a two small hands gently took ahold of his own from his left and right.
???:『Jeez, I can see how glum you look from all the way over here, in fact. If of all people Betty’s partner is going to get like this, then I can tell the going ahead is going to get rough, I suppose.』
???:『That’s right. Ram nee-sama’s always been blunt, it’s not like it’s something she just started doing now. That’s the reason why I’m gonna go easy on Subaru-sama. Good boy, good boy.』
Subaru:「Heyhey, no way, am I in the middle of a little girl sandwich……though now that I think on it, Petra isn’t that little anymore. Dammit, time sure is cruel… as it keeps passing by I’ll only be left with Beako as a little girl…..」
Beatrice:『Little girl…what do you mean little girl, in fact!? That’s impolite for a lady, I suppose!!』
Having graduated from being lolimanced, Petra puffed out her chest in delight, and Beatrice teetered between taking it as a compliment and otherwise. Nonetheless, Beatrice seemed to be a little girl by nature, thus it couldn’t be helped.
Subaru:「It seems like the mothers and fathers of the world want their children to stop growing at their cutest age; you’re like something out of a dream in that sense, Beako!」
Beatrice:『Hmph…By saying that are you hinting that Betty is the cutest in this world, in fact?』
Subaru:「I’d like to gather candidates for the seat of cutest in this world and make them compete with each other; though, the prettiest in this world is you. I’ll try give you a medal.」
Petra:『What about me? Heyhey, Subaru-sama, what about me?』
Subaru:「Hmmm, Petra is the cutiest in this world.」
Petra:『Yaaaay!』
Letting out a cry of mirth, Petra took hold of one of Beatrice’s hands and jumped about happily. Whilst being overwhelmed by that vigour, Beatrice also seemed like she wasn’t at all in a bad mood.
Towards there――
???:『Well, well, weeeeeell, it seems like you’re really in high spirits, doooooesn’t it? Putting aside your physical appearance, you should be acting your actual age amongst them, but despite that, this is still raaaaaather adorable, isn’t it?』
Beatrice:『Ugh, I suppose……』
Roswaal took a step forward with his long legs, an air of composure rested on his face. Beatrice made an unpleasant face at Roswaal who had made his appearance. Incidentally, Petra, who was holding Beatrice’s hand also put on a look of displeasure due to the position of mischief that coated him in her Master’s camp. Well, if you think about what he has been guilty of, it was natural though regrettable.
???:『Beatrice-sama, Petra, don’t make such unpleasant faces.』
Roswaal:『Indeeeeeeeed, that’s Frederica for you. Telling the both of you exactly h……』
Frederica:『Don’t you two know that the more you make those faces, the more you’re just going to cause Master to be pleased, right? Since Master’s that kind of gentleman.』
Roswaal:『I take baaaaaack what I said.』
Roswaal lost his composure too on receiving Frederica’s sharp blow.
On the other side, both Petra and Beatrice obediently accepted Frederica’s words with an「Oookay」and an「All right, in fact.」
Subaru:「……Well, I also feel like y’all are too fussy, but I guess this fuss is a page of everyday life, right?」
???:『It doesn’t matter if it’s a page of everyday life, but please, aren’t you forgetting about me and Miss Meili?』
Subaru:「Mhm……」
A little apart from the Emilia camp who were chiding each other as they walked, Julius who was walking behind them, spoke that out. Closing one of his eyes, he reflected Subaru in his yellow eye and said,
Julius:『Though, do you take pride in that my advice was helpful for you when facing Reinhardt?』
Subaru:「I ain’t saying it wasn’t helpful, but your evaluation of Reinhardt makes him look a bit like a Dream Guy, so its credibility can be shaky. You mustn’t go getting yourself too caught up in your hero syndrome.」
Julius:『That’s not an answer which’ll help you borrow my strength. Maybe I should change my attitude a bit from now?』
???:『Heeeeyhey, sayin’ it like that’s no good, Julius. Should I draw up a propa’ loan for Natsuki-kun instead? It should work well enough even without a contract.』
With a tit-for-tat reply said in a gentle tone, Anastasia broke her way into Subaru and Julius’ exchange, which was prone to break into a full blown argument if it went on like that.
Anastasia, having completely regained her merchant-like attitude, stared at Subaru with her turquoise eyes and after causing him to blanch a little, she said:
Anastasia:『Natsuki-kun, arentcha forgetting? If we cooperate wit’ each other well, then Natsuki-kun, when you get back to normal, you’ll….. 』
Subaru:「――Aah, I remember. If I get『Natsuki Subaru』back and go back to the time where I can restore everything properly, then」
Cutting his words there, Subaru took a deep breath and continued.
Subaru:「Then finally, I can take the time to atone to everyone whom I’ve killed.」
※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※
Patching together, patching together, continuing to form its shape.
Patching together, patching together, continuing to mould its shape.
Patching together, patching together, continuing to fill in the colours.
Patching together, patching together, patching together, and continuing towards bringing himself closer to completion.
Bringing himself closer to completion, and if the patching was completed this time around.
If his patching could be patched together as he was originally, then surely.
――Then surely, there was no doubt that he could do everything over again.
※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※
――『Natsuki Subaru』had the power to redo fate.
That was Natsuki Subaru’s conclusion.
He could get back the lives of Emilia, Beatrice, Ram, Julius, Meili, Petra, Frederica, Roswaal, Rom-ji, Garfiel, Otto, Anastasia, Ricardo, Hetaro, Tivey, Mimi, Kiritaka and Liliana.
It should be possible, if he was『Natsuki Subaru』
Because,『Natsuki Subaru』was――
『My esteemed knight.』『Betty’s partner, I suppose.』『A man with only good timing.』『A good friend, I’d think.』『We~ll, maybe it’s alright if I appreciate him a li~ttle.』『It felt like I could always give my best thanks to Subaru!』『I am grateful for the many times Subaru-sama has saved us.』『Subaru-kun, I’ve been waiting eagerly for you for many many years….』『Never for a second did I think that such a rookie could do all this.』『Captain! Y’can talk to me whenever if there’s ‘ny problem! I’ll do anythin’ ‘f it’s somethin’ I can use my strength for!』『Well, I find it scary that the consequences of repaying my debt come back to bite me, so I would like you to take things in moderation though.』『Mhhhm, busyin’ yourself is quite good y’know. Me, Mimi and the others should try’n loosen up a lil’ bit more.』『Oh, ain’t that a good change Ana-bo’s proposin’! Aye Aye, we ‘been workin’ too much! A buncha days off would hit the spot!』『If Miss takes some time off, I’ll start dishing out the work….』『When we get Natsuki-san to help out, Miss will make sure to try get the best out of him.』『Ooo, you’re right! I getcha I getcha! Mimi too, Mimi too! Mimi will do her very best with Garf!』『So I can pay my debt of gratitude to you for saving the city…… is something I cannot say so easily if we consider what happened to it afterwards, but…』『You’re kiiidding right? Could it be that Kiritaka-san you’re holding this grudge a bit tooo much? Becausebecause, if Natsuki Subaru-sama goes completely back to normal, then everything will go back to how it was, wouldn’t it!』
With the strength of that of raging billows, the companions that surrounded Subaru listed their expectations in『Natsuki Subaru.』
Subaru nodded as he listened to it, feeling like he was intruding on other people’s affairs.
Subaru:「Aah, that’s right. That’s right indeed. Even though it’s quite impossible for me, even though it was impossible, I will.」
???:『If it’s you, Subaru, you can do it, right?』
Subaru:「Surely I will….. No, I absolutely will, don’t you think?」
Subaru declared that with his fist clenched tight, and cheers ran out from his companions. As he basked in the din before him, suddenly, Emilia approached him. Subaru raised his eyebrows at her.
She gently beckoned Subaru, and then, she pointed her finger towards somewhere a little apart from the circle of their companions. The one who stood where her white finger had pointed to was――
Emilia:『――Shaula… she looks lonely. That’s dreadful, Subaru. She looks so pitiful, doesn’t she?』
Subaru:「She’s……」
Emilia:『Don’t give excuses. All of us absolutely want to try and do our best in any way we can with Subaru, but, the one who is doing their best would first of all be Subaru, and then wouldn’t it be Shaula? So……』
Subaru:「――――」
Emilia:『So, you have to take good care of her. ――Promise.』
What Emilia spoke to Subaru, a promise, was something which held really really great significance between the two of them. ――No, as a matter of fact, as Subaru wasn’t『Natsuki Subaru』he didn’t understand how『Natsuki Subaru』regarded the weight of it.
But, even if he didn’t understand『Natsuki Subaru』, he understood the trust Emilia had when she tried to make promises with『Natsuki Subaru』all too painfully.
Subaru:「……All right. I promise.」
Emilia:『Mhm, perfect. ――Well then, I’ll see you later, Subaru.』
Saying that, Emilia waved goodbye to him as she smiled.
And immediately after Subaru recognised that, the many figures of his companions that appeared from his ever cloudening left eye’s field of view completely vanished. After that, everything went still, no one was there. A stillness that felt like it cut off everything but Subaru was left behind.
The one whom he had made the promise with wasn’t there anymore, let alone the vestiges of the promise he had shared.
Subaru:「――Shaula, come here.」
Tossing aside those desiccated thoughts, Subaru called out to Shaula, who was walking in the distance. Hearing that call, Shaula’s face suddenly lit up and she leaped up and came rushing over to where Subaru was.
Shaula:「Wassssup, Master! Hm, has your fun-time where you’re off grumbling to yourself as if you’re having fun finished!?」
Subaru:「Don’t you go saying it so damn straight! You don’t have to say it like you’re talking to a loony, there’s no damn need to be so hurtful!」
Shaula:「My baaad!」
Slapping the top of her forehead with her palm, Shaula took back what she said all the while sticking out her tongue. Was she apologising? It didn’t feel like an apology, but, well, it was close enough.
In any case, Shaula, who had kept accompanying Subaru all the way here from the tower of sand―― Certainly, the main contributor towards Subaru’s aims was this woman, and not just because of what Emilia had said.
He borrowed ideas, knowledge and wisdom from his many companions in drafting a course of action and plans. But, what was needed for that each time was the power to carry those things out; to put it more simply, he needed fighting strength.
Shaula’s presence was indispensable in order to make those possible. Even so, Subaru had done almost nothing to reward her.
It felt like she was just a well he could always draw water from whenever he needed it.
It was as if she was saying he could do anything no matter what it was, if it was him, who wasn’t 『Natsuki Subaru』
Subaru:「――――」
Shaula:「Master?」
Without thinking, Shaula questioningly tilted her head at Subaru, who had sunk into silence. Long black hair slowly cascaded down her pale, bare shoulders.
As he paid attention to that, Subaru gulped and set his thoughts straight,
Subaru:「Shaula. What is it that you want to do in the end?」
Shaula:「Mhm~ What do you mean?」
Subaru:「I don’t mean anything! You must understand what my aim is, right?」
Until just before, he had disregarded any thoughts that related to how he would reward Shaula. Were you to pay attention to him, you’d notice that Subaru had begun to speak in a manner that showed traces of rudeness.
To those words, Shaula frowned, and her face showed no traces that she had understood what Subaru had said. She brought her frown-adorned face closer, and as a result of that, Subaru held her back by placing his palm on her forehead.
And as he held her back,
Subaru:「I kill everyone who knows me, and I read their『Books of the Dead.』If I wipe out everyone who knows me, then the last one would be you. After that, I’ll end up reading your book, and yet….」
Subaru lacked the most importants parts of himself by a mile and wasn’t able to fill in that gaping hole with his own strength. Subaru had no choice but to build『Natsuki Subaru』up little by little by collecting all the scraps of『Natsuki Subaru』from every single people who knew『Natsuki Subaru』and patching them into his original form.
In its completed form, it would contain all the memories of those who were familiar with『Natsuki Subaru.』Like Emilia, Beatrice, and so on; Shaula was no exception either.
That’s why he had promised Reinhardt that he’d kill him someday as well.
She kept openly smiling in front of Subaru’s eyes. She kept helping Subaru in his objective without any hesitation. She kept interacting with her carefree attitude. And he had to kill her.
Subaru:「And yet, you accompany me? Shaula」
Shaula:「Are you worried about meeee? Is it because you love me?」
Subaru:「――. Don’t joke about. I’m asking you seriously.」
Shaula’s answer to the sincere question he had asked was in the same tone as usual. And since that had gotten on Subaru’s nerves, he repeated his question again a little more crudely.
But, after receiving his words, Shaula called back to him with a:「Master」
Shaula:「I’m really not joking about. Since being loved by Master is the meaning of my life. So, that’s what matters the moossst.」
Subaru:「――――」
Shaula:「If Master loves meeee, then you may make use of me as much as you like. My life is Master’s property. Being used as much as you like, Master…. that is what I desire.」
Still in her usual tone, still with her clingy attitude which had to be bluntly brushed off, still giving off a rather flippant vibe where it couldn’t be distinguished if she was being serious or joking about, Shaula ran her hands down her ample breasts.
She ran them down and then turned her dark eyes to look at Subaru before giving him a weak smile.
What was shown there in her sincerity was an attitude that she lived her life earnestly, never ever lying. Shaula always spoke seriously. ――And since she did, she had no need to lie.
Shaula:「You may use meee as much as you like until I come to a miserable end. In exchange, I want you to love meee, and I want you to cry for meeee if I die. Since I’m really, I’m really just… I’m really just satisfied with that.」
Subaru:「……Why do you devote so much of yourself to me like that? It has to because I’m『Natsuki Subaru』」
Shaula:「That’s not why.」
Subaru:「――――」
Shaula:「Master is Master; I don’t care about anything else. I just love wanting to love so that I want to love the one that I want to love. And, if that person loves me back, well, that’d be perfect. Am I speaking weirdly?」
Shaula tilted her head; it seemed like she didn’t hold a single doubt in what she’d said. Seeing that, Subaru let out a small「Hah.」 And soon enough what had been just a small snort of laughter steadily caused his throat to squeeze up into laughter.
Subaru laughed.
He didn’t laugh as either『Natsuki Subaru』or the play-acted version of『Natsuki Subaru』he put on in front of Emilia and the others. This time he laughed as the hollow Natsuki Subaru that had forgotten everything about his life in another world.
Subaru:「Ahhh, god damn, don’t you guys…… don’t you people go fucking worrying about my damn self-discovery… Damn idiots.」
Shaula:「Huh!? Master, no way, did you get mad!? Did I say something weird!? Could it be that Monday, Thursday and Fridays are the days which all the burnable trash is thrown away!?」
Subaru:「I ain’t angry. I’m just amazed. I’m amazed, and ah, I’m damn speechless.」
Letting out a long sigh, Subaru slightly shook his head and started to walk. Shaula, looking rather unlike her usual self, timidly watched over Subaru’s back.
Subaru gave yet another long sigh seeing the stubbornness in her gaze.
Subaru:「You can do what you want, so, get yourself over here quickly.」
Shaula:「If I can do what I want… then, maybe you won’t get angry if I cling onto your arm, right?」
Subaru:「I guess so if you ain’t gonna cling on with your whole body weight.」
In an instant, Shaula’s face lit up and with a leap she wrapped Subaru’s arms around her chest. Even though usually it would have been a rough experience, only when it came to touching Subaru did Shaula tone down her strength.
It was like she was handling something fragile and important and trying not to break it.
Subaru hated that Shaula would flirt with him――No, he disliked it. Her affection made him uncomfortable.
The one which Shaula wanted to be affectionate to was『Natsuki Subaru.』And, since everybody thought that they didn’t care or hold any interest in Natsuki Subaru, other than『Natsuki Subaru』
Shaula:「Master, Master~」
Subaru:「Hm?」
Shaula:「I love youuu Master. Love is Over.」
TL Note: Another one of Shaula’s pop culture references. References this song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NxaED86s3L0
Subaru:「I see. I don’t love you though.」
Shaula:「Guaaaaa! M-Master’s so mean….」
Subaru:「But.」
Shaula:「But?」
Subaru:「……After you kill Reinhardt, I will kill you last. I, who am not『Natsuki Subaru』will kill you last. That is what I will do for you.」
Shaula:「――――」
Subaru:「That’s all I will promise」
Shaula:「Ah, aahah, ahahahah! Master, Master… really? I’ll be last? Am I gonna be Master’s last woman?」
Subaru:「When you say it like that, it makes me want to break that promise already.」
Shaula:「Ehh~! No! It’s a promise! It was definitely, definitely a promise!」
Subaru:「I was joking.」
Shaula:「Eeeeeh!? A joke? Which part was a joke!? Master, Master~!」
※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※
Patching together, patching together, continuing to form its shape.
Patching together, patching together, continuing to mould its shape.
Patching together, patching together, continuing to fill in the colours.
Patching together, patching together, patching together, and continuing towards bringing himself closer to completion.
Patching together, patching together, patching together, there’s too much to be patched together. Even if he kept patching it together so that the original form became unrecognisable, he could still patch together a new one.
Patching together, and continuing to live on.
Patching together, and continuing to live on.
Until the day comes where he would die, he would continue to patch it together, and live on――
『Patching Together a Life in Another World From Zero』F I N
Source: Touka131
Whoaa. . so this is what Tappei released on April Fools few days ago? Really thank you guys~
Indeed, this is only Part 1 (of 5 or 6) so stay tuned for more releases of this!
Is this related to arc 6 or arc 5 if arc 5 I can continue if arc 6 I don’t want spoilers
It contains spoilers for arc 6. I’d recommend waiting until you finish arc 5.
Ok
What is this????? After jumping from untranslated chapters to another this is one the most confusing jumps that I had please some one explain and I’ll be thankfull if translations continue
this is a alternative universe of rezero tappei writes some of those from time to time
What timeline is this??
It should be in Arc 6,as I know(cause im in arc 5,No spoils please ) shaula doesn’t appear until arc 6
And for what i ahve seen from every If, there’s probably gonna be only 1 of each arc,as there is 5 ifs and everyone is of a different arc,there hasn’t been 2 if in the same arc,and there’s only 6 arcs, so I suppose next if is gonna be from arc 5 maybe
… actually there are six ifs. Everyone just keeps pretending the lust if doesn’t exist for some reason.
Everyone indeed, including the author too, more or less.
False. The author pretends it doesn’t exist because of harassment from fans which lead to him taking it down. Don’t gloss over that as if craving validation.
I’m not sure how you’re equating what I said to “craving validation”. My response was meant pretty light-heartedly and it’s not false at all. The author absolutely pretends the meat and bones of the IF don’t exist, after the criticism he received from his fans – I don’t remember the last time he referenced to it from his Social Media.
– I don’t remember the last time he referenced to it from his Social Media.
last year when he said that the harem if was the theme of lust
That wasn’t even last year. That was nearly 2 years ago, in 2017, to be more precise. Either way, the author clearly doesn’t want the contents of the IF to be displayed on his syosetu page, regardless of whether he did it due to negative publicity or not.
I’m pretty sure he didn’t take it down because of harassment, but instead because he always meant to. The if I incredibly weird and it was replaced with the ‘butterfly dream’ story the day after, so I think it was just a prank, bro.
It’s always hilarious when someone tries to correct someone else but ends up being wrong.
haha petras virginity go brrrrrrr
Bruh
It diverges from around Chapter 47ish of Arc 6.
thank you! I’ve been looking forever on what chapter this if can diverge from.
So this version it’s just a Subaru who really like food?
If you count killing people as food, yes.
Oh wait now i get it how it is… its subaru who hated his old person after gluttony or something like xD
Idiot no. Basically Subarui lives under the impression that “Natsuki Subaru” is the ultimate hero, good at everything. This is his BoTD plan splitting from chapter 54.
Hmm.. could it be that Natsuki Subaru memory was eaten by gluttony,and so he went in a journey to find himself. Cause i mean,even tho he recognizes and talk about the others,when he talked aboit Otto,he spoke as if what he knew was told to him, and he doesn’t remember what he has done before,even tho he is saying that he needs to be complete
So what I think he means by “complete” is by regaining all of his past self of being before being eaten by gluttony. As he also gets anxious about people recognizing him and he blames himself for being incomplete, an incomplete Natsuki Subaru
You shall see when the translation is complete! The new part i updated today should give you more answers
Damn that was right on the money
I’m on arc 5 so this stuff is pretty confusing, but really intense at the same time lol.
Wth with that anti-climatic end, i thougt at least we can see how subaru will deal with reinhardt and then win somehow but after that subaru try to kill himself to redo everything but the save point has been updated.
The sin of gluttony was obsessed with eating onething, memories, they even targeted subaru because they considered his memory of dying over and ovee the pinnacle of memories
So I think with subaru having the sin, he will stay obsessed with others memories and him being incomplete and others’ having complete memories
With memories of his past self as the pinnacle of memories..
think of gluttony as endless hunger. he wants to kill shaula after he kills reinhard, which will never happen, hence endless.
His plan is to kill Reinhardt and Shaula which is the last of the books he needs to read then after that he will kill himself to reset everything and start anew life with them with [Natsuki Subaru] that everyone knew. He is still a phony just like Otto said though. He is still incomplete.
I think Subaru just never kills Reinhardt so it’s kinda done there
Completed? So what? Doesn’t mean you should take a ten days break.
For that, I’ll make it a months break.
I see, so we got Shafin to blame
😉
Thank you so much was looking for this for month you are the best men!!!!!
Another question how’s gonna Subaru get back all the way back to there? The save point is still on the watchtower??!
It’s unknown where Subaru would end up after RBDing
I’m just waiting for him to RBD way latter on after he’s killed everyone… Don’t see why he wouldn’t just kill only a few people, read their books, and then after RBD. Might have a chance to atleast frame the peoples deaths as an accident then…
Note: You shouldn’t read this if you didn’t finish arc 5 and halfway through arc 6.
To those who doesn’t understand what is going on, this story diverges from the point in arc 6 where Subaru loses his memories and he tries to recreate his self from other people’s memories by using Books of Dead that are available in the library.
It took me way too long to realize Emilia’s lines and everyone else’s of the arc 6 gang, except Shaula, were in double quotes.
This is possibly the saddest what if in my opinion
All IFs are sad, especially Oboreru, after all Subaru has no ‘salvation’ in any of them (with the exception of Rem’s IF)
But this has to be the most depressing of them all, to willingly have his closest friends and love interests killed, also Shaula…I read this thinking it would have some good Subaru X Shaula moments, but it was totally the opposite…poor Shaula.
once again, i am depressed from this story
Damn, 12 year old me would’ve eaten this edgy shit right up, but 15 year old me just feels sad, I’m gonna watch memory snow now to fill the hole in my heart
ah, good ol’ memory snow…
I did the same, listened to REM’s SUBARU-KUN SUBARU-KUN & chiki chiki & others interactions between them to get my sanity back, aaaaaaahh this hurts
yeah this one hurt big time. It’s amazing how far Subaru goes, but Tappei makes sure he still has a small part of his original self even when he’s evil, so it hurts all the more for us readers. frick. I’m gonna go cry now.
This is like the worst way you can borrow the power of friendship, everyone was like “join us Reinhardt”… Also I don’t think Subaru’s dream can be realized, the most important part of [Natsuki Subaru] is in no one’s memories. It’s the suffering experience the world has forgotten. Besides even if he “patches” enough to be satisfied with it and manages to replicate him, when he dies he probably won’t go back to when he first killed and started all of this. It’s cool how in every “if” Subaru has someone strong to back him up like his stand.
man i wanted to see his mental breakdown when he inevitably dies and realizes how RBD actually works! dude just thinks if he dies hes going to wake up in front of Emilia and Beatrice like every other time in arc six so seeing him realize all of that is irreversible would be amazing
That’s probably exactly what’s going to happen, check point hasn’t changed because EMilia is dead. In all other IFs, where Emilia dies, no matter how much Subaur’s progressed, 20 years or 60 years, he goes back to that check point before Emilia died
I want to SCREAM but it’s 1 A. M. & everybody around me is sleeping,
I wants to CRY but tears aren’t coming out.
Imagine this: after killing all of them, then killing himself a lot, realizing how RDB works, and ending up reading all the Books of the Dead, at the final moment, he reads Reid Astrea’s book and realizes who made him have amnesia and get eaten again by Louis. He wakes up again, not knowing what just happened. He just leaves the convenience store and tries to explore the tower, getting killed by a lot of monsters every time he tries because they are just too powerful and finally getting trapped in the Pleiades Tower forever.
Omg that’s wild and I love it. I could totally see this being “canon” (as canon as a non canon spin off can get)
Well that was amazing. He became a Kariya Matou look-alike
Honestly, this IF version of “Subaru” is the most terrifying to date. He’s essentially a hollow thing that scarcely resembles Subaru and his mindset barely seems to possess any human reasoning left. Out of all of the IFs, he feels the most alien, and not simply insane. On top of that, the mental “ghosts” of the Emilia Camp that inhabit his mind are disturbing because you’re left with this eldritch feeling of horror that they aren’t wholly hallucinations recreated from the memories he absorbed and his broken psyche.
I like how the common theme in a lot of these If stories is “no matter how many people he kills, Subaru can’t effectively deal with that Reinhardt bastard”
I agree that thing called Reinhardt is a monster how can he be so strong yet again so useless against disasters like unhinged natsuki subaru.
The fact that the lives of everyone depending on Natsuki Subaru kipping his sanity intact and if he failed everyone is Fucked literally is just amazing
As to be expected from a death defaying madman.
And I like the fact that rose died in this Fic the best thing ever.
I wonder, whether he actually rbd’ed at some point, but thought something like ‘real Natsuki Subaru can switch save points’ because of his delusions. Otherwise I don’t understand how he could exit the tower even with Shaula’s assistance. Also I don’t get why Shaula didn’t transform into scorpion.
I think he convinced her to leave the tower since thers no point on wining the trials everyone is dead subaru lost himself so what remains is unhinged arc 1 subaru .
this is the worst one out of the IF…..
now I’m dead inside
l6gzio
Wow this was incredible. Now I have completed every IF story, and I’m so glad that I have. This one and oboreru were amazing.