Arc 9, Chapter 8 – “How to Regret”

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???: [I hea~rd. That blue-haired Onee-san woke up, didn’t she~? Onii-san, you were rea~lly, rea~lly worried, so aren’t you relieved no~w?]

???: [Yeah, I can still remember the fresh feeling I had the moment Rem woke up. Even the part where I had my fingers broken afterwards is now a good memory.]

???: […He~y, Petra-chan. Has Onii-san gotten a little weirder since he got sent flying o~ff?]

Petra: [Well, a lot of things happened. It’s a long story, but there was a time when he was cross-dressing and even a time when he shrunk to about the same size as Beatrice-chan…]

???: [Hu~h?]

Meili, who had just joined them, leaned on the counter with her chin in her hand, wearing a puzzled look.

Subaru wanted to complain about being treated like a deviant, but given that Meili had only heard a brief summary of what had happened to him in the Empire, her reaction was perfectly understandable. The connection between the presented circumstances and the events that followed seemed a bit unclear, which made Subaru feel like scratching his head in confusion as well.

Subaru: [Well, if I explain it from the beginning, I can tell a story that actually makes sense.]

Beatrice: […Is that so, I suppose? Betty heard the whole story from the beginning too, but it started to become a bit difficult to follow when Subaru mentioned he had cross-dressed again, in fact.]

Subaru: [Why that though, it was the most logical thing to do…]

For some reason, the operation to capture the Fortress City was not fully understood, even though the results clearly proved that having Subaru, Abel, and Flop dress up as women was the best strategy.

However, Subaru’s sincere appeal did not seem to resonate at all with Beatrice, Petra, or Meili, who was drinking the cold milk she ordered.

In any case――,

Meili: [But sti~ll, to go back to the Tower right after returning… Onii-san, you’re not going to get blasted off somewhere again and make Petra-chan lonely, are you~?]

Subaru: [We’ve had that scary discussion plenty of times already… Well, not plenty, but we’ve talked about it. At least, I think the cause of the teleportation issue won’t happen again.]

Petra: [S-somehow, that way of saying it makes me feel even more uneasy…]

Noticing Meili and Petra’s worried looks, Subaru adjusted his hold on Beatrice―― Meili had taken the seat Beatrice was originally sitting in. With Petra on one side, Meili on the other, and Beatrice on his lap, Subaru took a moment to consider his next move.

――In the first place, the event that caused Subaru to be transported to the Vollachian Empire was a highly irregular incident that occurred at the Pleiades Watchtower.

At that time, just before the incident occurred, there was an irregularity in the green room of the Tower. Spica―― who was believed to be Louis at the time, appeared; amidst the confusion of handling the situation, things took a sudden turn.

That was――,

Subaru: [――The penalty for invoking Return by Death was applied incorrectly.]

That was what Subaru speculated.

Previously, Subaru had attended Echidna’s tea party in the Sanctuary and confided in her about Return by Death. The outcome was disastrous, not only due to Echidna’s unpleasant response, but also because of the calamity in the real world upon returning from the tea party.

At that  time he confessed the truth of Return by Death to Echidna, which triggered a penalty that covered the entire Sanctuary in a black shadow, leading to a state of devastation. ――Subaru thought that the situations were similar.

In summary, Louis Arneb, who had encountered Subaru in the Hall of Memories and learned about Return by Death, appeared in the green room for some reason.

And that was what that black shadow―― the Witch of Envy, mistakenly set out to eliminate.

And as a result of the clash between the rampaging Witch of Envy and the Divine Dragon Volcanica, who was tasked with protecting the Tower, Subaru was blasted away by the resulting force field――,

Subaru: [That’s what I’m thinking, but beyond that, it’s just speculation.]

Ultimately, the reason why Subaru was transported to the forest of the People of Shudraq in the Empire remained unknown.

It was unclear whether it was accidental or if it was an intentional result by either the Witch of Envy or the Divine Dragon. However, considering the events that followed, Subaru did not believe it was by the intention of the Witch of Envy.

The Witch of Envy had lost sight of Subaru; that was, until Subaru called out to her on the Gladiator Island.

――It was there for the first time that Subaru called out to the Witch of Envy, addressing her as Satella.

Since then, although the nature of Return by Death had not changed, Subaru’s perception of the Witch of Envy, who likely brought it upon him, had shifted slightly.

That shift being――,

Beatrice: [――Subaru? You have a troublesome look in your eyes, I suppose.]

Beatrice, turning around in Subaru’s arms, pressed her fingers against his forehead as he remained silent and deep in thought. Subaru could not help but smile wryly at the sensation and her words.

Subaru: [It’s a bit late to bring up the look in my eyes. Usually, people talk about how scary my face is or something like that.]

Beatrice: [Subaru, your face is full of charm once you get used to it, in fact. The impression of you having scary eyes is probably just nonsense from people who don’t know you, I suppose.]

Petra: [Yes, yes, Beatrice-chan, that’s true. Right, Meili-chan?]

Meili: [That’s ri~ght. I guess you and the Witchbeast-chans are just as cute in your own wa~ys, huh?]

Subaru: [Beako and Petra are too soft on me, so Meili’s opinion is probably more in line with general sentiment. I’ve been dealing with these eyes for eighteen years. I don’t expect anything else of them…!]

In fact, it had already been proven by over a year of experience that even the standard isekai trope of “the reversal of beauty and ugliness” was not something to expect.

According to Subaru’s aesthetic sense, beautiful people were beautiful, and Subaru’s eyes were the most terrifying.

Subaru: [Enough about my eyes. Anyway, it seems like there’s no need to worry about me getting teleported again, so for now, there’s no concern about me causing trouble for everyone by going to the Tower.]

Meili: [I see. Well, I don’t really mi~nd. I’ve been fulfilling my duties properly while you were away, after a~ll.]

Petra: [Duties… Wait, does that mean…!]

Petra’s eyes sparkled as she looked at Meili, who gave a somewhat proud, smug smile.

Subaru had also heard about what Meili had been up to in the Kingdom while he was returning from the Empire.

She had been negotiating with the high-ranking officials of the Kingdom, leveraging her ability to safely guide others through the Augria Sand Dunes to the Pleiades Watchtower.

In exchange, Meili had been seeking a pardon for the crimes she had committed in the Kingdom and securing her future livelihood.

Subaru: [So, judging by your tone…]

Meili: [Ye~p, I did i~t. I made those important old men… what were they called? The Council of Wise Me~n? I made them promise me my free~dom.]

Petra: [You did it! You did it, Meili-chan!]

Meili: [Kyaaah!]

With a triumphantly smug expression that could almost be used as a model, Meili proudly reported her success, prompting Subaru to widen his eyes in surprise. Petra, even more excited than Subaru, reached across him to grab Meili’s hand.

As a result, the two girls ended up holding hands over Beatrice’s stomach,

Subaru: [I’ll take advantage of the moment and gently put my hand in there too.]

Beatrice: [It’s a bit ticklish, but Betty will join in too, in fact. You did well, I suppose.]

Subaru and Beatrice added their hands to the mix, and the four of them ended up holding hands together in a show of camaraderie.

The shopkeeper on the other side of the counter looked at Subaru and the others with a strange expression, but Subaru consciously ignored it, deciding not to worry too much about onlookers during this joyful moment.

With their hands laid on top of each other, Meili said “Th-thank you~…” in a small voice before continuing,

Meili: [A-anywa~ys, my ability to control Witchbeast-chans is highly valued by the Kingdo~m. I’m using it at your request, so make sure to show some gra~titude.]

Subaru: [Wow, that’s quite the bold attitude. But it’s fine, I don’t mind a big mouth. And of course, I won’t forget to show my gratitude. You’ve really done a lot of reflecting, haven’t you?]

Meili: [What do you mean by tha~t!? Do you want me to push you down the stairs agai~n!?]

Though Subaru understood that Meili’s words were just her way of hiding her embarrassment, the memory of his spectacular tumble down the stairs made every single one of his bones creak in recollection.

However, what caught even more attention than Meili’s slip of the tongue was――,

Petra: [Meili-chan? What do you mean by that? What did you do?]

Meili: [Ah…]

Petra: [Hey, I didn’t get a chance to hear the full story, but what happened at the Tower? You apologized for not being able to stop Subaru from being teleported, but is there anything else you need to apologize for?]

Meili: [U-u~m, Petra-chan, your eyes are looking a little sca~ry…]

Petra: [Meili-chan.]

Meili: [Eeek!]

Petra’s hands, still resting on Beatrice’s stomach, gripped Meili’s hands firmly, not allowing her to escape.

Realizing this, Meili turned to Subaru with pleading eyes,

Meili: [O-Onii-san… Onii-san, he~lp…]

Subaru: [Sorry, Meili. The Council of Wise Men might overlook your mistakes because of your rare abilities, but your friends are here to properly scold you. Friends like that are precious.]

Beatrice: [Regrets don’t come first, in fact. Lessons should be learned from them, I suppose.]

Meili: [Come on~!]

With those words, Subaru picked up Beatrice and slid his chair back, distancing himself from Petra and Meili. Petra immediately closed the gap with her chair, leaving Meili with no way to escape.

Watching the two of them, Subaru and Beatrice drank their milk together――,

Beatrice: [It was good that you were able to save Meili back then, in fact.]

Subaru: […Thanks.]

Beatrice expressed Subaru’s feelings in a small voice. Subaru, filled with affection, gently stroked her head as he watched the endearing interactions between the two girls.

――Above the teary-eyed Meili’s head, a small scorpion was clicking its pincers sharply.

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――The duty that had been entrusted to Garfiel Tinzel was a heavy one. 

The faith of his comrades resting upon his shoulders, was something that Garfiel understood to a painful extent.

They were putting their trust in him. That if Garfiel was present, then the members traveling to the Pleiades Watchtower, composed of Subaru, Beatrice, and Petra, would not end up facing any danger.

Thus, he wanted to respond to that faith, Garfiel had resolved himself to respond to it.

Garfiel: [Yo, it’d be best for ya to drink a lil’ water. The atmosphere here’s all dry ‘cuz of the sand gusts. Ya never know when yer throat might get parched up.]

And, with those words, Garfiel called out to Al, who was seated within the dragon carriage.

Inside the single-wagon dragon carriage pulled by Patrasche, Al was hugging one of his knees as he sat―― he was the individual who could be called the reason, or origin, of this journey towards the Pleiades Watchtower.

The man who was formerly the Knight of Royal Candidate Priscilla Barielle. He had watched as his master disappeared before his very eyes, and in order to compensate for that sense of loss, he sought a Book of the Dead within the Tower.

Whether that was a good or a bad thing, Garfiel did not know.

Garfiel: [――――]

When Garfiel had first heard about the Books of the Dead of the Pleiades Watchtower, to be perfectly honest, he thought he wanted to see those books by all means necessary.

Because of the situation, they were busy with the priority of going to save Subaru since he had been sent to the Empire, so there had not been a place for him to discuss the topic in earnest, but he had certainly thought in such a manner.

By nature, Garfiel loved reading books about great figures from history. He had fond memories of reading books in the Sanctuary until they were completely worn out, including “The Legend of Reid Astrea”, a book describing the life of Reid Astrea, whom Subaru and the others had met first hand.

To hear that the lifetime memories of not only Reid, but of many great figures whose names had been engraved in history, were all lined up in the library that stored the Books of the Dead, was a matter that caused his chest to throb with excitement.

The reason why Garfiel was then slightly opposed to the thought of Al wanting to read Priscilla’s Book of the Dead, was a sensation stemming from some sort of logic.

Did knowing the person make it alright to read it? Or did knowing the person make it wrong to do so? ――It was not just Garfiel who did not possess the correct answer to that, but also Subaru. 

Therefore――,

Garfiel: [Until ya do what ya gotta do at the Tower, ya can’t be collapsin’ on us. Hey.]

Gnashing his canines, Garfiel tossed a canteen over to Al. It slowly drew an arc as it spun through the air, making its way towards Al――,

Al: [――Oh, my bad, bud. My throat was just about feeling parched.]

Catching the canteen with a light sound, Al skillfully raised the jaw of his helmet with his single right arm, and gently brought the mouth of it to his own lips.

Then, Al gulped down the water quite quickly, and gave a refreshed exhale of “Ahhhh~”.

Al: [Eep, that really brings me back to life. Really, you guys are always taking such good care of me, I’m grateful. Even though you should be frowning upon me for causing bro’s team to split up like this.]

Garfiel: [Gimme a break, don’t ya have any self-awareness?]

Al: [Well, it’s not like I’m not looking at my surroundings. I’d say that, at least more than that old man who disappeared to who-knows-where, I’m calm, real calm.]

Garfiel: [――――]

Al gave his answer while waving around the canteen that had been mostly emptied, to which Garfiel flared his nostrils, feeling as if he had eaten a bitter bug.

The topic of the missing person whom Al had brought up, was about Heinkel.

As one of the members of the Priscilla Camp, after her passing, Heinkel’s mind had been quite disturbed, and he had disappeared a few days before Garfiel and the others departed from the Empire.

Garfiel had participated in the search, but tracing a scent through a town where thousands of people were entering and exiting on a daily basis was a difficult feat, and so ultimately, they were unable to find him.

Garfiel: [Emilia-sama also seemed to be super depressed…]

When Heinkel’s whereabouts became unknown, Emilia had felt a terrible sense of responsibility.

He heard that she had come into contact with Heinkel on an occasion Garfiel and the others had been unaware of, and it seemed that he clung on to her quite intensely on that instance. After that, without getting the chance to talk with him again, Heinkel disappeared.

To an extent similar to Emilia, Garfiel was also disheartened. ――After all, he had inadvertently crossed paths with Heinkel many times, and they held out on the same battlefield together in the fight against the Great Disaster.

Garfiel: [Oi you, ain’t ya worried ‘bout pops?]

Al: [Hm? Yeah, I guess I’d say I’m worried about him, but that’s because both me and the old man are at a fine age. Fellow middle aged geezers oughta worry about each other, right?]

Garfiel: [The fuck’s it gotta do with age! It’s only natural to worry ‘bout yer comrades. When ya start talking like that, then ya got Beatrice, Emilia-sama, ‘n Nanna who’re all over a hundred years old!]

Al: [Hm, I guess things get pretty confusing at bro’s place if you rank seniority by age. Ah, I do think everything that you’re saying is completely correct, bud? It’s just…]

Garfiel: [What?]

Al: [All things considered, my plate’s also pretty damn full right now.]

Saying that, he raised the hand holding the canteen and lowered his head, leaving Garfiel at a loss for words.

Following that, he also began to get a bit embarrassed for pressing Al so emotionally. Just now, Garfiel had been one-sidedly venting his feelings of powerlessness.

In addition――,

Garfiel: [――Tho’, it’s still different from Captain’s.]

Narrowing his emerald-green eyes, as Garfiel checked the sharpness of his canines with the tip of his tongue, he discretely examined Al’s state, and recalled what Otto had told him.

――Having witnessed Priscilla’s death, Subaru and Al had sustained great wounds to their hearts.

Everybody had received a shock from Priscilla’s death, but the wounds received by these two had undoubtedly been the greatest, and so the way they faced those wounds was distinct when compared to others. 

Trying to make amends under the guise of Sparka, Subaru had himself beat down by the many comrades he had encountered in the Empire.

That pitiful, reckless endeavor was repealed via the support and assistance of his surroundings, but whether it be equivalent, or even greater, Al was currently in need of “something”.

Garfiel did not sense any issues within his responses during the time of this conversation, but―― before Subaru and the rest had proposed to accompany him, Al was initially going to force himself to head to the Tower alone.

That would have likely been an act tantamount to suicide; a fact Garfiel was sure of, having heard about the severity of the Augria Sand Dunes from his comrades. There was even the possibility that Al had fallen into such despair that he would not have minded losing his life enroute to the Tower.

Subaru: [I want to respect Al’s feelings of wanting to read the Book of the Dead. I’m going to accompany him to the Pleiades Watchtower… That’s all I can do, for Al, and for Priscilla.]

Having noticed those perilous signs within Al, nobody stopped Subaru as he spoke that out.

To not accompany Al was equivalent to leaving him to die at the sand sea. ――It was the consensus of the camp that there had already been enough casualties.

Al: [But, you know ? Aren’t bro and the rest out shopping? Would’ve been best for you to follow them, since you’re the strongest, bud. If it’s just the dragon carriage, then I’d be able to watch over it alone.]

Garfiel: [――. Ya really think we can just leave a guy from another camp here by himself? My amazin’ self’s here to keep an eye on ya.]

Al: [It’s lonely to be treated as an outsider. Aren’t we buddies who saved the Empire together?] 

And, that was also the reason why Al had lost everything precious to him.

How to mourn, how to despair, how to regret, such methods differed from person to person. Garfiel too had an experience of being stuck completely helpless at a dead end, only left to despair.

In order to get back on his feet, Garfiel had borrowed the strength of Subaru, Ram, Otto, and everybody else.

So now, he wanted to be there for somebody else in that same position.

Garfiel: […I had thought my amazin’ self could be there for pops, too.]

The missing Heinkel must also have his own despair. That such a thing had cast a great shadow over his life, was something Garfiel more or less understood.

Precisely because he understood, he felt sorry for Heinkel, who had no choice but to shoulder everything on his own.

???: [――It appears that the atmosphere in the carriage is rather stagnant. Depressing.]

And, just as Garfiel had been thinking that.

The door to the dragon carriage opened, and the person who appeared from outside spoke those words.

When Garfiel turned around in surprise and saw that it was someone he knew, he let out a sigh,

Garfiel: [Don’t fuckin’ freak me out like that. Got me thinkin’ it was somethin’ like “The Sound of Woozle’s Wind”.]

???: [Excuse my rudeness in asking, but considering your duty, would it not be a problem in and of itself that you are unable to cope with sudden situations? Inquiry.]

Garfiel: [Ugh, th-that’s a bit…]

???: [Again, excuse my rudeness. I attempted to trip you up. Apology.]

Saying that, placing a finger on his lips as he winked, was a man with a slender face, meticulously trimmed navy blue hair, and a monocle over one eye―― Clind.

This man who cast an unfathomable atmosphere around him, worked as a servant for Roswaal’s relative Annerose Miload, and was on poor terms with Garfiel’s older sister, Frederica.

Moreover, this was the person with whom they had arranged to meet in Mirula, the nearest town to the Sand Sea.

Garfiel: [Amazin’, ain’t yer timin’ just damn perfect. ――Where’s that Meili girl?]

Clind: [She is accompanying me. Certainly. As for my punctuality, it is not something that deserves praise. As a butler, I have simply fulfilled my duties.]

Garfiel: [Ya really think that any other butler is fuckin’ able to do somethin’ like takin’ an entire dragon carriage from one end of the country to the other so easily?]

Garfiel was fed up with Clind, who placed his hand on his chest with great humility.

In bringing Subaru and Rem home from the Empire, Clind had fulfilled a very important role, on a level that he might even be the MVP of the camp.

It would seem that Clind could use magic similar to that of Door Crossing, which allowed one to cross through space, and through that, he had been very useful and versatile in making preparations for their journey to the Empire.

The reason they had met up here was to retrieve Meili, who was indispensable personnel for crossing the Augria Sand Dunes.

Clind: [Regarding Meili-sama, I have sent her straight to Subaru-sama and the others. I have come to the dragon carriage to report on her arrival. Praiseworthy.]

Garfiel: [Thanks. By the way, did’ya not bring Emilia-sama or Ottobro with ya?]

Clind: [My apologies. The payment made by the Master was limited to the act of bringing back Subaru-sama and Rem-sama, who were sent to the Empire. Bringing Meili here was the least I could do as a favor. Sincerity.]

Garfiel: […Gotcha. If there’s a reason, I won’t ask ya to do the impossible.]

Clind bowed deeply, and although his tone remained flat, there was a sense of consistent apology in his demeanor, and it seemed that he had reasons that were beyond his control.

In the past, Garfiel had a bad habit of losing all reason when he underwent beastification, but the reason he was able to overcome this was because he had been granted an opportunity to do so. He did not know if Clind’s limitations were of the same sort or not, so Garfiel refrained from saying anything presumptuous, despite having had a similar experience.

Garfiel: [Well, not like our amazin’ selves are the only ones. Yo Al-san, lemme introduce ya. This is one of our amazin’ selves’ allies, Clind, he’s real chummy with that Roswaal bastard.]

Clind: [While it is exquisitely chilly, yet quite difficult to deny, I thank you for the introduction. Having received that introduction, my name is Clind. Pleased to make your acquaintance. Bow.]

Realizing that he had ignored Al while they had been speaking, Garfiel introduced Clind. Giving a slightly wry smile, Clind faced Al and greeted him.

From Garfiel’s point of view, it seemed strange that Clind, who had been close with Roswaal for a long time, would now deny getting along well with him, but――,

Clind: [――Al-sama? Dubious.]

Aside from Garfiel’s thoughts, Clind frowned with skepticism.

The reason was Al’s reaction to Clind’s greeting, in which he gave no response.

Al: [――――]

Maintaining his silence, Al stared intently at Clind’s face.

Of course, his expression was not visible with his helmet on, but the atmosphere he was exuding―― something close to shock or bewilderment, could easily be felt.

However, Garfiel did not understand the meaning of that reaction in itself.

Garfiel: [Huh? Clind, do ya know Al-san?]

Clind: [――. No, forgive me, but I have no recollection of him. Al-sama, have we met somewhere before? Verification.]

Clind shook his head and denied Garfiel’s suspicion.

If Clind could not recall any such thing, then he was likely not mistaken.

As previously mentioned, Clind could use special magic, but he also had outstanding abilities as a butler. He was the one who trained Frederica and Ram as servants, and he was also the one who had taught Subaru how to use a whip. He might not have been stronger than Garfiel, but his mannerisms also gave the impression that he was no ordinary person, and certainly possessed great power.

If he had no memory of this, then it was probably true that, at least on Clind’s side, they were not acquainted.

And, as for Al――,

Al: [――Nah, never had any of that, acquaintance. Without a doubt, this is the very first meeting between you and I.]

Garfiel: […So, the hell was up with that profound silence just now?]

Al: [My bad, it’s just kinda troublesome to memorize new things. ――You said you were called Clind-san? The name’s Al. I’m indebted to bro, and to your allies.]

Clind: [I am at your service. I look forward to working with you from now on. Perpetuity.]

Al: [Perpetuity is a bit long, but yeah, looking forward to working with you.]

Waving his hand, Al readily responded to Clind’s lighthearted words.

While watching the two of them interact, Garfiel felt that Al’s behavior was somewhat unnatural, but he missed the opportunity to mention it.

Garfiel: [Whatever, I guess.]

Now that Clind had brought Meili here, the real expedition into the Augria Sand Dunes could begin.

The Witchbeasts that swarmed the Sand Sea could be driven away thanks to Meili’s power, but there were still many things to prepare for, such as the Sand Time vortex of the Sand Wind that must be passed through in order to reach the Tower.

He heard that last time, there was a scene where Emilia and Julius, who had accompanied them on their journey, had displayed their abilities.

Garfiel: [I’ll give ‘em hell! My amazin’ self’ll protect Captain ‘n everyone else no matter what!]

Garfiel roared, bringing his fists together before his chest.

The sense of purpose surging up within him was proof of the determination that was erupting from the unshakable awareness that now inspired Garfiel.

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――Such was Garfiel’s determination, fervent with excited breaths, however.

Meili: [Very goo~d, a safe arrival. I’m relieved that nothing happened this ti~me.]

Saying those words, Meili hopped down from the driver’s seat onto the sand, and with the gargantuan door that was the entrance to the Tower behind her, she spread out both her arms.

The eastern edge of the Augria Sand Dunes―― the path to the Pleiades Watchtower, which even the Sword Saint had given up on traversing due to his failure to reach it, was now easily surmounted by them.

Garfiel: [Gao…]

Having firmly vowed to protect his comrades no matter the obstacle, Garfiel ought to have been pleased with the anticlimactic result, and yet he could not help but mutter that with a somewhat unsatisfied look on his face.