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ALL RIGHTS BELONG TO TAPPEI NAGATSUKI, THE ORIGINAL AUTHOR OF RE:ZERO STARTING A LIFE IN A DIFFERENT WORLD FROM ZERO, THIS IS A TRANSLATION OF THE FREE JAPANESE WEB NOVEL INTO ENGLISH
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Translated by:
- TranslationChicken
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Original credit for this translation goes entirely to TranslationChicken and his team.
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Anastasia: [Ya sure came back early.]
As they returned to the City Hall, Anastasia greeted them with a somewhat strained smile.
Having left the building full of bravado only to return like this, Anastasia’s face was quite honestly the last face Subaru wanted to see. But this was no time to be concerned with such feelings.
Subaru: [Yeah, I’m back. But I’ll head out again as soon as I’m done here. There’s just something I have to try in the City Hall first.]
Anastasia: [Did ya come up with somethin’ again? I got a bad feelin’ ‘bout this.]
Subaru: [Well… The first shelter was a horrible sight, I mentioned that in the Conversation Mirror already. And I think the influence of Wrath must have affected other shelters as well.]
Anastasia: [So they’ve succumbed to the sharin’ of emotions… It’s not like I don’t feel it myself. If I let my mood drop, it feels like it’ll just keep on droppin’ forever… But I guess it works a little differently on everybody.]
Subaru nodded in agreement with Anastasia’s analysis.
In fact, Subaru had also noticed the same on the streets. The effectiveness of Sirius’ Authority varied drastically according to the distance between them. Perhaps simply being aware of the Authority’s existence could help alleviate its effects as well―― the fact that Subaru had been able to calm Garfiel and Al down in that way proved this.
Al: [I dunno how the shelter got like that, but I can’t help but worry “bout the same thing happenin” to the main force bunched up in here. I’d really rather not coming back here only to get caught up in another blood sacrifice or somethin’.]
Anastasia: [Well, ya didn’t need to worry “bout that. Luckily, we only have intelligent, rational people here. Though I can”t say the same “bout the guy who”s always screwin’ up the mood.]
Al, who had arrived along with Subaru, spoke up while looking around the first floor of the City Hall. Hearing him, Anastasia snorted, putting a stop to Al’s smart-assery with a jab.
Seeing Al reply with a silent shrug, Anastasia turned back to Subaru.
Anastasia: [So, what’re you plannin’ to do? You came back ‘cause you had an idea, right?]
Subaru: [Ah, right… By the way, where’s Julius? He isn’t with you?]
Anastasia: [I don’t like bein’ bombarded with question after question, ya know… Julius’s been actin’ a little strange. I think part of it’s “cause we haven”t found Joshua yet, but I’ve a feelin’ that’s not all.]
Subaru: [Acting strange… Now that you mention it, he was a little strange, wasn’t he?]
Waking up after the failed attack on the City Hall, Subaru did notice that Julius was less articulate than usual. He seemed to be making judgements and suggestions that he would have never made in normal circumstances, and there was a visible lack of confidence about him.
He was a man with a strong sense of duty. Subaru had thought that it had been regret for letting Gluttony escape, but perhaps there was more to that story.
Garfiel: [Captain. You’ve a bad habit of concernin’ yerself with every problem out there. I know you’re worried “bout Julius, but that ain”t somethin’ we can fix right now.]
Subaru: [Yeah, yeah, you’re right. Well, I’m sure that guy will do just fine on his own without anyone worrying about him. Compared to that, we got our own things to deal with. Anastasia-san. The broadcasting magical device on the top floor is still in working condition, right? Like, it’s not broken, nor did we lose the instruction manual or something…]
Brought back by Garfiel’s reminder, Subaru asked this question. On the receiving end, Anastasia blinked her round eyes a few times before answering,
Anastasia: [It’s not broken, and I’ve worked with similar devices before so that’s fine… but, what are ya plannin’ to do with it?]
Seeing the surprise in Anastasia’s eyes, Subaru scratched his cheek.
Even though he had expected her to oppose it, it was the only plan he could think of. In terms of minimizing casualties, it would also be the most effective measure.
Subaru: [As I said in the Communication Mirror, the area’s currently under the Authority of Wrath’s influence. The shelter we visited… became washed in blood because some small irritation was allowed to fester. The slightest negative emotion could spiral into an extreme disaster. It’s scary.]
Anastasia: [Yes, my thoughts exactly. The more people there are, the harder it is to control them, and the panic’ll spread even quicker. That said, with the refuge shelters… or even without the shelters, people’ll tend to huddle together. Right?]
Subaru quietly nodded to Anastasia’s question.
What was so frightening about Sirius’ Authority was that the bigger the group of people, the more powerful its influence would become. And upon hearing the Witch Cult’s threats over the broadcasts, people could not help but form groups because of their anxiety―― a truly sickening way of exploiting people’s helplessness.
It was unclear whether the Witch Cult had been hoping for their cooperation, but the fact remained that it had created a vicious cycle that was threatening those people’s lives this very moment.
Anastasia: [Do ya mean to say… you’ve thought of a way to counter it?]
Subaru: [It’s only a “maybe this could work” kinda thing. I do think it’s worth trying. It’s just…]
In front of Anastasia’s expectant gaze, Subaru’s words abruptly trailed off.
Seeing this, Anastasia narrowed her eyes as if to peer into Subaru’s innermost thoughts, while Subaru exhaled a deep breath.
Subaru: [Once we start doing it, everything will be heard by the Witch Cult, word-for-word. So there’s the possibility that we could run into other problems if we provoke those guys.]
Anastasia: [And in exchange, there’s a good chance that we can reduce the threat that’s already upon us.]
Subaru: [Yeah, that’s right. Now that we’ve retaken the City Hall, and considering Sirius’ Authority is currently affecting the shelters… Even though it’s hard to balance the risks, I still think…]
It’s impossible to imagine how the Witch Cult would react if a monumental action were to be taken. The dangers were equivalent to bringing a burning match into a stash of gunpowder, as was always the case when dealing with the Witch Cult. What made it so difficult to assess was that the gunpowder could also blow on its own, at any moment, regardless if a match were brought or not.
Anastasia: [――I think I more or less know what you’re planning to do now, Natsuki-kun.]
Subaru: [Really?]
After briefly sinking into thought, Anastasia let out a long sigh and spoke. Hearing this, Subaru raised his brows, surprised at her reaction.
Anastasia: [Goin’ by the flow of the conversation, and since ya asked “bout the broadcasting device at the start, I”d be more worried if I still couldn’t figure it out.]
Subaru: [W-well, yeah, I guess. So, what do you think? You’re against it, aren’t you?]
Just as he had thought beforehand, she would probably oppose it. Therefore, Subaru would have no other choice than to clear the giant hurdle of convincing Anastasia in a war of words――
Anastasia: [Haaaaa, what am I gonna do with you…]
Subaru: […Wha, you’re ok with it?]
Anastasia: [Logically speakin’, it’d be the best course of action. No matter how much I like winnin’, if it means leavin’ a mountain of corpses behind by the time we defeat the Witch Cult, there’d be too bad of an aftertaste left in the mouth.]
Getting that unexpected answer, for a moment, Subaru was stunned.
Meanwhile, Anastasia bit her lip as if trying to deal with some indigestible emotion inside her, but it was Garfiel who broke the silence.
Garfiel: [Yo, Captain and nee-chan. What’re ya guys talkin’ ‘bout?]
Anastasia: [Such an unperceptive child… Even my Ricardo could’ve figured it out.]
To Garfiel, who was left out of the loop, Anastasia tossed that unsparing remark. Garfiel gritted his fangs in annoyance, but Al patted his shoulder from behind, laughing at Garfiel as the latter turned around.
Al: [Basically, what bro’s thinking is something like this―― Rather than trying to stop the Authority of Wrath from spreading throughout the city, it’d be quicker and easier to try to turn it around to our advantage instead.]
Garfiel: [Turn it around, whaddaya…]
Subaru: [Sirius’ ability is to share emotions. When people get anxious and afraid, that emotion swells as more people bunch together, until eventually, it gets set off by something insignificant, and explodes. So…]
Anastasia: [If we can replace fear and anxiety with another emotion… paint it over with somethin’ like hope, then those feelings’ll be what’s shared instead.]
Garfiel’s doubts were cleared by Al, and Subaru, then lastly by Anastasia. While listening, Garfiel’s eyes grew wider as he leaked a groan of understanding,
Garfiel: [Aaah, so that’s it! Then they won’t be killin’ each other. And if things go well, even the ones whose spirits were broken’ll return to the fight.]
Subaru: [If they’re engulfed by the atmosphere around them, even seasoned fighters’d be unable to stand. If we can release them from that anxiety, I think we won’t have any problem bolstering our forces anymore.]
Garfiel: [Ain’t that awesome!? Do it, Captain! We got that magical device. So th’sooner we start…]
Anastasia: [Wait, wait! It’s not all that simple. It’s not like I hadn’t considered it myself…]
Anastasia clapped her hands to stop the over-excited Garfiel. Seeing this, Garfiel bared his fangs,
Garfiel: [Hah? Why’re we holdin’ off? Ya just said y’agreed, didn’tcha? Don’t tell me you’re backin’ out at the last minute.]
Anastasia: [I never said I’m backin’ out. I told ya, I’ve thought “bout this. There”s another problem to this, besides these simple pros and cons.]
Subaru: [Pros and cons… those are ones we talked about earlier, no?]
Anastasia: [The pro’s the goal of this strategy itself, eliminatin’ the anxiety and despair from the citizens so we don’t have that constant threat at our backs. The con’s that whatever we broadcast into the city’ll naturally also reach the ears of the Witch Cult. We’ve got absolutely no idea how they’ll react.]
Anastasia raised her hands to both Garfiel, who bit his lip, and Subaru, who remained calm. “However”, she continued,
Anastasia: [In terms of disadvantages, I believe they’re almost negligible. In the first place, when they were makin’ their demands, the Witch Cult never forbade resistance. It’s as if they don’t even mind if they’re thwarted or opposed.]
Subaru: […Now that you mention it, even though we attacked the City Hall, they didn’t use that as an excuse to exact any retribution. What they did to the people in the City Hall was just for their own amusement.]
Anastasia: [Amusement? I like that choice of words. It’s a pretty accurate way of describin’ those guys’ sick inclinations.]
Anastasia sighed, while Subaru wanted to gag just at the thought of those Sin Archishops’ faces.
However, they both agreed that there was no extra risk in making the broadcast itself. So then, Anastasia’s concern was――
Anastasia: [While I’ve got no objections “bout the broadcast itself, the problem”d be… what’ll it contain, and who’ll be makin’ the speech.]
Subaru: [What and who…?]
Not understanding what Anastasia was saying, Subaru furrowed his brows.
If she was asking about who should make the broadcast over the city to rouse the hearts of people and chase away their anxiety, then――
Subaru: [Well, that’s where Anastasia-san comes in. People recognize you as a Royal Candidate. If something inspiring comes from Anastasia-san’s mouth…]
Anastasia: [This might sound strange comin’ from me, but I think it’s difficult to expect that kinda effect from my words. As much as I hate to admit it, I’m not up to that task.]
Subaru: [――――]
Anastasia shook her head at Subaru’s intuitive suggestion.
Subaru did not understand what she meant. Since, naturally, the whole of Pristella would know about Anastasia’s position as a Royal Candidate. They would be aware of the Royal Selection. Her fame certainly far exceeded anyone else present.
Subaru: [Not up to it… Why? I mean, Anastasia-san, you’re…]
Anastasia: [If renown’s all that matters, then I’d indeed be the most suitable. If that’s all it took to change things for the better, then I’d be happy to oblige. But that’s not the case. My renown’s unrelated to beatin’ the Witch Cult. Someone famous’s fightin’ the Witch Cult―― that’s the kinda knowledge that might have an effect, or not.]
Subaru: [But…]
Anastasia: [In that case, it’d be pointless. What’s needed is hope. Hope that can replace all the anxiety in people’s hearts in a single stroke.]
Subaru had no words to reply to Anastasia’s statement. Honestly, he wanted to chide her for her faintheartedness, and to refute what she was saying. However, no one other than Anastasia herself was the one who seemed to rue the pitifulness of her statement the most.
Anastasia could not have said those words without thinking. Quite the opposite. It was precisely because she had thought it over thoroughly that she had judged herself unworthy of that role.
Anastasia: [I can trick and beguile people with magnificent words. And I’m sure that out of every ten, five’d be deceived. But it’d only be a frail, desperate straw that’d blow away at the slightest whiff of wind. All it’d accomplish was to create a momentary change in feeling.]
Subaru: [Th-then… What about Crusch-san? She has the military experience and belongs to a noble family of Lugunica.]
Anastasia: [Right, the words’d certainly carry weight if they came from Crusch-san. If it were the former Crusch-san. The current Crusch-san doesn’t have that kinda influence over people. Not to mention that Crusch-san’s currently fightin’ for her life. That’s a problem that’s gotta be solved before askin’ her to inspire anyone else.]
Subaru: [Fighting for her life? It’s that bad!?]
Hearing that Crusch was in a worse state than he had been told, Subaru took a step towards Anastasia.
With the height difference between them, Anastasia looked up at Subaru and tightened her lips. Subaru quickly turned to Garfiel, only to see him meekly shaking his head,
Garfiel: [The cat-eared nee-san won’t let her die, I’m sure of it. She’s poured so much of her life-force into her… but I’m against puttin’ the woman in front of the magical device and talk as well. Hell, she can barely make a sound…]
Subaru: [Damn it! Then what about Julius? If it’s Julius, he’d…]
Anastasia: [It’s true that Julius’s part of the Royal Guards, and is one of the greatest Knights in the Kingdom, and my pride. But how much’d Julius’s name mean in this city? At best, his chances’re “bout the same as mine. And I”m more eloquent to boot.]
Crusch was out of the question, and Julius was also shot down.
Of the faces in the City Hall who could possibly inspire hope in others, only Wilhelm and Ricardo were left. But Ricardo had neither the influence nor the popularity. And how could anyone ask this of Wilhelm now? Even if he agreed, what advantage would Wilhelm’s title as the former Commander of the Royal Guards even bring to the table?
Subaru: [Then, what do we do? Who else is there…?]
???: [Well…]
Just when Subaru thought he had found an effective countermeasure against Wrath, he was stuck without anyone suitable enough to execute it.
And while Subaru sank into these thoughts, Al casually raised his hand.
Al: [If anyone’s gonna do the broadcast, shouldn’t it be you, bro?]
Subaru: [――Wha?]
Hearing him say that as if it were a matter of course, it took Subaru a moment to react.
Leaving his mouth gaping open, there was nearly no need to think twice about what Al had just said. Making such an unfunny joke at a time like this, what was he thinking?
Subaru: [Say, Al. We’re in the middle of a serious conversation here. The kind where every second counts. I can’t deal with your jokes right now.]
Al: [Oy oy, wait a minute. I’m aware that I’m a guy Princess-san hired because more than half of my remarks are irrelevant, but I wasn’t joking just now.]
Subaru: [If you weren’t joking then what made you think I could do it? Either you’re trying to be funny or you’re mad, and I don’t know which’s worse here.]
Al: [What’s so crazy about that? Why don’t you have a look around?]
Although Al was someone with “Not Serious” written all over him, at that, he suddenly lowered his voice and nudged with his chin. Following his movement, Subaru shifted his gaze to the two others beside him―― Anastasia and Garfiel. Though Subaru imagined that they were just as baffled by those words,
Subaru: […Oy, you guys too?]
Anastasia: [――――]
Garfiel: [――――]
Their gazes were serious, certainly not surprised or annoyed at all. They were staring at Subaru with sincere affirmation in their eyes.
It was almost as if they were saying they agree with Al.
Subaru: [You’re kidding, right? Why do you look like you’re all in agreement? If Anastasia and Julius can’t do it, what makes you think I can!?]
Al: [Well, like I said on the street, we all got this far because of you, bro. Garf[1] agrees with me, judging from the way he keeps calling you “Captain, Captain” and all that.]
Subaru: [How are those two things connected!?]
Al: [It’s the same thing! To have Garf call you Captain means you’ve done something right, bro. That just shows how much he trusts you, right? You seem to think what you did wasn’t that big of a deal for some reason. But aside from you, who else in this world, let alone this city, can say that they’ve defeated Sloth of the Witch Cult?]
Subaru: [――――]
Al brought his face right up to Subaru’s.
His cold helmet bumped into Subaru’s forehead, and a small warmth could be felt through the firm feeling of metal, coming from Al’s forehead on the other side. For a moment, feeling himself pierced through by his invisible eyes, Subaru held his breath.
Al: [In a city occupied by the Witch Cult, there is a man who’s killed a Witch Cult Sin Archbishop. Aside from someone who meets that condition, who else can raise the hopes and expectations of people? Aside from you, bro, the only one who’s able to do that is Reinhard. And you’re the only one here.]
Subaru: [――Guh.]
Getting hit with another bump to the forehead, Subaru stumbled backwards. Watching Subaru back away with his head on his forehead, Al shrugged.
Anastasia: [I’m of the same opinion. If anyone can do it, it can only be Natsuki-kun.]
Subaru: [Anastasia…]
Saying this, Anastasia looked down at Subaru, who was still in the same position. It was an expression that seemed to be lamenting her own powerlessness, all the while entrusting that hope to someone else.
Only after seeing that expression, did Subaru finally notice the great expectations that had been placed on him.
Subaru: [Garfiel… you think so too?]
Garfiel: [I dunno any details “bout ya killin” this Sin-something of Sloth. But yeah, I’m thinkin’ the same thing.]
At Subaru’s quiet question, Garfiel scratched the short hair on his head.
Garfiel: [If there’s a voice in this city that can become people’s hopes… I say that voice’d be yers, Captain. If ya really give it yer all, I got a feelin’ ya can do it. That’s what I think.]
Subaru: [――――]
That was a baseless, and tremendously heavy brand of trust.
Surprised, and holding his breath, Subaru clearly understood the magnitude of the faith placed in him.
Looking back, he saw Anastasia. Who nodded.
Next, he saw Al. Who shrugged his shoulder.
As before, Garfiel was still watching Subaru. When Subaru turned to face him, he nodded as well.
Subaru: [――――]
Taking in each of their reactions, Subaru turned up his head.
Narrowing his eyes to the weak light of the crystals on the first floor, he exhaled a long, deep sigh.
――They estimated him way, way too highly.
He had felt it from Wilhelm, Julius, and Reinhard as well.
They had gotten it all wrong about Subaru. All wrong.
They themselves were so much better, had worked so much harder, and were so much nobler than he was.
Yet, as if it were a matter of course, they praised Subaru, offered him their help, and greeted him with such warmth. That fact had always tormented Subaru.
When the person he respected, the person he did not want to lose to, and the person he could never reach towards all give him their affirmation, it was not just a simple matter of being overjoyed.
It made him anxious. That someday, on the day his true self was finally exposed, he would surely disappoint them. Upon the realization that the real Subaru was actually pathetic, weak, and hopeless, surely, they would be saddened, and would regret the warmth they had shown him.
That was what he had always thought. And yet…
Al, Garfiel, and Anastasia, had such expectations of Subaru.
On the verge of being crushed by its weight, Subaru had pushed himself to his limit, and yet his limit had not been reached in slightest. And so, he kept piling on weight upon weight, as he tried to live up to that expectation over and over.
This, was the road Natsuki Subaru had chosen.
――The road he had once promised to a single girl that he would take. Her only hero’s road.
But, one way or another, he was no longer just her hero. What Subaru was carrying now, was――
Al: [If you do this, bro, from now on it’ll be heroic reveries that you’ll be carryin’ on your back.]
Al suddenly gave this warning to the silent Subaru.
Watching Subaru’s eyes drop, Al continued in a listless voice.
Al: [You can never lose. You must only win. You’ll take up their hopes, carry their expectations, and fight to show them a future of light. If you make this decision here, that’s what you’ll have to do.]
Subaru: […I can never lose, huh. Sounds just like how it’s always been, doesn’t it?]
Al: [Its weight is different. Your loss, bro, becomes more than just your loss.]
Subaru did not understand what Al was saying.
Subaru’s battles had always been this way. When Subaru lost, Subaru was not the only one who would be lost. Everything Subaru wanted to protect would be lost with Subaru’s defeat.
It had always been this way. It had never been otherwise.
If defeat did not cost him anything, he would have had no reason to fight. Still, Subaru struggled on because there were things that could not be protected unless he fought.
And after today, their numbers would swell to unbelievable proportions.
Subaru: [Tch, isn’t that still how it’s always been?]
Al: [――――]
Exhaling a sigh, he had made up his mind.
The pounding of his heart, so intense until now, settled down as his vision cleared. Though he could not see Al’s face, he could sense that Al was holding his breath, watching him with an astounded expression.
Subaru: [Anastasia-san, I’ll do it. If my voice can make a difference, then leave it to me.]
Anastasia: […Are ya sure? Once you take on people’s hopes…]
Subaru: [It’ll be no different from what I always do. Hero, it doesn’t sound too bad, does it. Though honestly, it’s kinda embarrassing to be calling myself that…]
Seeing Anastasia’s worried expression, Subaru softly rubbed the tip of his nose.
Subaru: [If it’s just a matter of being a hero, I’ve already made my decision a year ago. Otherwise, I’ll bring shame to the girl watching over me, and the girl whose back I’m watching.]
Anastasia: [――Is that so. Well, aightey then. Boys like to show off at all times, after all.]
As if saying “There’s no helping it”, Anastasia smiled, and gave Subaru a light poke in the chest.
Subaru was a tad taken aback by that reaction.
Since that might have been the first time he had seen Anastasia let down her guard and show her true emotions. With that feeling rapidly melting into his chest, where he had been poked, Subaru lifted his face.
Subaru: [Thank you, Garfiel. Al. For helping me make up my mind.]
Saying this to the two at his back, Subaru followed behind Anastasia.
Just what would he say while standing in front of the broadcasting magical device, he wondered. He still was unsure of what or what not to say.
But, strangely, there was no confusion or anxiety accompanying it.
After all, it was just the same as usual, right?
――Because he knew that, just as usual, he had no choice but to show off again, right?
Translation notes:
[1] Yes, Al’s calling Garfiel “Garf”. I’m as baffled as you are.
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