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ALL RIGHTS BELONG TO TAPPEI NAGATSUKI, THE ORIGINAL AUTHOR OF RE:ZERO STARTING A LIFE IN A DIFFERENT WORLD FROM ZERO, THIS IS A TRANSLATION OF THE FREE JAPANESE WEB NOVEL INTO ENGLISH
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Translated by :
- Archbishop, /u/Archbishop
Proofread by:
- Furuta, /u/GracedHarperd
- Review, /u/ReviewR524
Disclaimers:
- Note to anyone reading this, it’s in the process of retranslation, this was one of my first ever TLs and it’s very poor quality, so I am trying to fix a lot of it.View Here
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――The search of the Third Floor Library, Taygeta, had ended with absolutely no results.
Emilia: [I’m sorry… We tried reaaally hard to look for clues…]
Emilia bowed her head in apology towards Subaru after bringing him those fruitless results. Subaru politely accepted the apology; but in all honestly, he wasn’t that disappointed.
Of course, it certainly would have been for the best if he could have regained his memories here. Nevertheless, he was lacking in awareness in having lost his memories in the first place, so Subaru did not feel overly emotional that the search party had yielded unsuccessful results.
Shaula: [――? Master, what’s up~?]
Subaru: [Huh, oh, it’s nothing.]
Shaula glanced towards him, cocking her head at him with a happy-go-lucky expression on her face. Subaru shrugged his shoulders, feeling a bit uneasy at the sight of her and her long, jet-black braided hair swinging about.
There was no ill-will, malice, or even any profound meaning to her.
In the end, it meant she wasn’t really thinking about anything, but her attitude being like this appeared as a relief to Subaru right now.
At least it was better than having the others always scrutinizing what he did, constantly worrying over him, and watching over every single step of his.
Julius: [Apparently, there does not seem to be a pattern to how the Books are arranged. It is difficult to picture them being ordered following their titles or following chronological order. And on the flipside, Books which we would have found yesterday on one bookshelf cannot be found today on the same one.]
Subaru: [So yet another troublesome and unfriendly Library, huh.]
Subaru wrinkled his nose at Julius’s remarks.
Not only did the Library boast an overwhelming collection of books, but the books happened to move around scrambling themselves on their own accord, giving him absolutely no hope as a library-user.
Even if there happened to be a Book they needed, they would never find it.
Subaru: [Why can’t we just pull out each Book one-by-one, and stack them onto the floor? There’s no bookshelf at the back, since the bookshelves all go around the room in a circle, but say we pick a starting point and go through them one by one, surely we’ll find something somewhere?]
“Anastasia”: [In my opinion, it would be wiser to not. Probably doing that would be prohibited by the Tower’s rules. It would probably be considered as disrespecting the Library.]
Echidna, cocking her head to the side, dismissed Subaru’s suggestion. Beatrice crossed her arms and agreed with Echidna with a curt “I suppose”.
Beatrice: [Being an experienced librarian Betty could never overlook leaving a book on the floor, in fact. You cannot show such disrespect to books like that, I suppose.]
Ram: [Beatrice-sama, I feel like you often left a large number of books stacked up on the floor.]
Beatrice: [Those were the ones that instructed me how to correctly arrange the Library, in fact!]
Ram narrowed her pale crimson eyes at Beatrice’s awkward excuse, though she didn’t bother to reply. She merely let out a deep sigh, to which Beatrice’s expression turned to one of shock.
Alongside this librarian talk, Subaru butted in and said “Prohibited?”, with a puzzled expression on his face.
Subaru: [I’m sorry, it looks like this is something I’ve not heard of again… what is prohibited?]
Emilia: [Oh, sorry. Looks like I didn’t explain it properly.]
Emilia raised one of her fingers in answer to Subaru.
Emilia: [In actual fact, there’s a bunch of rules that we can’t break in the Tower. Like, such as “Don’t leave this Tower until we finish its Trials”, “don’t do anything bad to the Library”, “don’t damage the Tower”, those kinds of rules.]
Subaru: [I see. Who would have guessed that putting Books on the floor in this Library was a bad thing… By the way, who judges whether we’ve broken any rules?]
Shaula: [Oh, that’s where I come in! Me, the Star-Keeper, will do that! Meaning, if a rule violation happens, I’ll kinda end up freaking out and I’ll become a cold-blooded killing machine! That’s why I’d prefer if you did your best not to!]
Subaru: [A cold-blooded killing machine… You?]
Subaru could only laugh dubiously at Shaula who had cheerfully lifted her hands up whilst making this proclamation.
No matter how much he believed Shaula’s frivolous speech, he thought it unlikely that she could ever transform into a cold-blooded killing machine. In the first place, how much damage could she really do with the slender arms of a woman―― would that even be applicable in a magical fantasy world?
In fact, Subaru had heard that Shaula was not his or Emilia’s ally, but rather was the Star-Keeper―― the warden of this Pleiades Watchtower.
She held a non-standard position different from that of Meili, supposedly being was here to aid in advancing the Trials inside this Tower―― yet he had no such impression of her actually doing this.
Subaru: [If you seriously hold such an important position, you’re going to have to let us off the hook for the sake of our friendship.]
Shaula: [Oh, you are such a baaaad guy! Master is seriously dirty! But, I can’t get enough of that sliiightly wicked side of yours! There’s tons and tons of stuff I’d like to hear from you, were it one of your wishes Master, but that is irrelevant to my will! Give up on that hope and show good sportsmanship; act fair and square and give it your all!]
Subaru: [You’re no use!]
Shaula: [Ahii.]
His strategy of trying to bring the warden to his side ended with unexpected failure, as her authority as a supervisor was too lacking.
At the same time, he had to keep Shaula’s forehead away with his finger as she kept trying to bring her face close to his in the middle of the conversation, forcing her charming face back. And while doing that, Subaru let out a feeble sigh.
Emilia: […It really kinda seems like Subaru and Shaula are both really good friends.]
Emilia whispered this just after Subaru had finished talking with Shaula.
Hearing Emilia whisper it to him, Subaru turned to face her and awkwardly stammered a “No, no, no, that isn’t so!” to her.
Emilia: [――――]
His attempt to lighten the mood of the situation was not working; Subaru immediately stopped upon seeing Emilia’s expression with eyes downcast.
Emilia was not smiling. Merely, her eyes, framed by her long lashes, were gazing downwards, and wavering within her amethyst eyes, was a seeming sense of loneliness.
Subaru’s face sunk at seeing her expression, and immediately noticing his reaction, Emilia frantically waved her hands back and forth at him in denial.
Emilia: [Oh, no, it’s reaaaally good that you’re both friends! Such a gloomy face does not suit you, Subaru… Yeah, it’s okay.]
Feigning a smile, Emilia somehow blurted those words out to herself.
Subaru: [Ah, Emilia-chan, you know, I…]
Subaru held his head as he struggled to find anything he could say to say to Emilia.
He felt like he would be saying the wrong thing no matter what he said.
Likely the only way he could find a correct answer would be amidst his vanished memories. He was in a nightmarish situation where all the options presented were probably incorrect answers.
Under these circumstances, saying anything to the sad girl sitting in front of him would be――
???: [Hey, so what are we going to do now?]
A soft voice broke the recently-formed awkward silence.
It had been Meili who had asked this from where she sat on Taygeta’s floor, resting her chin in her hands. She looked up at the adults in the room from her seated position and spoke,
Meili: [We can’t find any leads to recovering onii-san’s memories here. It’s a shame, not that I particularly care, but I wonder what we should do next. Are we still trying to find clues on how he lost his memory? Or…?]
Meili cut her words off there; instead turns her face upwards and pointed at the ceiling with her right hand. She was smiling quite provocatively.
Meili: [Let’s aim upwards again? Let’s postpone finding onii-san’s memory for a short while.]
“Anastasia”: […Yes, that seems like something to consider as well.]
Having heard Meili’s suggestion, it was Echidna who responded with a thoughtful look on her face. Emilia’s eyes widened at hearing her agreement.
Emilia: [Wait. I feel the same sense of wanting to hasten, but I can’t leave Subaru like he is.]
“Anastasia”: [I understand your view. It would be certainly preferable for me, Julius and everyone to return Natsuki-kun’s memory… However, we cannot ignore the current situation either. Natsuki-kun’s memories ceasing to exist may be linked to the Tower’s Trial.]
Emilia: [Subaru’s memories are linked to the Trial?]
It was not just Emilia who reacted like this, the others all turned their heads in surprise towards Echidna as she said this. With that situation, Echidna closed one of her eyes and spoke, “May I?”,
“Anastasia”: [There is no doubt that common sense barely applies when it comes to this Tower, however, it would be foolish to think what happened to Natsuki-kun is unrelated to the Tower. That’s why we all went to Taygeta in the first place―― to put it broadly, the current idea is that his memories were taken from him by the Tower.]
Subaru: [I think that sounds chuunibyou and cool and all, that memories can be stolen by the Tower. If it weren’t me experiencing this, I would be excited to hear about that… but, to begin with, Taygeta’s Trial has been completed. Wouldn’t it be strange that my memories would be removed here?]
“Anastasia”: [Yeah. Therefore, I think that your memories were not stolen because of the Trial, but rather because you must have broken one of the rules. Even if the Trial of Taygeta is over, the functions of the Tower have not been entirely fulfilled out. Such as like taking out a Book or disrespecting the Library.]
Echidna had explained her reasoning and Subaru puzzled it over, twisting his head and neck. In conclusion, Echidna’s reasoning alluded to the following.
Subaru: [So you’re saying yesterday I must have broken one of the rules of this place and bam, my head went kerplow. To be honest, trying to search for loopholes sounds like something I would do. I’m not able to make any objection to her reasoning.]
Emilia: [But, wouldn’t that have made Shaula angry?]
Echidna nodded at Subaru acknowledging her conclusion, however Emilia butted in and pointed towards Shaula, clearly remembering their previous interaction.
Emilia: [If he had violated any rules, wouldn’t that have made Shaula angry? It should be a completely different story to what we are experiencing here with his memories.]
Ram: [That is correct. I understand the possibility that Barusu broke the rules foolishly, but Shaula has not bared her fangs yet at Ram or any of you. What do you make of that?]
Ram glared at Shaula with her cerise eyes. Beholding her gaze, Shaula leapt up with an “Eeep”, and hid behind Subaru.
Ram: [No way that you would have seriously abandoned your role because of Barusu?]
Julius: [That is very optimistic of you to say for sure. However, as Miss Shaula said some time ago, she is barely aware of her being the one who actually carries out the punishments in the Tower.]
Shrugging his shoulders, Julius stood next to Echidna, supporting her opinion.
Julius: [Four things which are prohibited have been presented to us, but the given penalty for breaking one of them may not be equal for us. Miss Shaula could turn into our enemy and in some cases attack us, for example desecrating the Library in some way could result in having your memories stolen…]
Julius cut his words off there and promptly turned his yellow eyes towards Subaru.
Subaru: [――――]
There were some really complex emotions swimming inside Julius’s eyes which Subaru could not discern.
However, Julius immediately continued his speech with “Although”,
Julius: [We do not have any time or actual proof to test whether this guess is correct.]
Ram: [If memory loss is really all there is, then we can just sacrifice the four or five hours of memory that Barusu has had since waking up. That ensures that the damage will be minimal.]
Subaru: [Stop using people’s memories as guinea pigs! Memories still shape that person! Even if it’s only four or five hours, I am still myself! I’m not a bad Natsuki Subaru!]
Ram: [I was joking.]
Subaru’s entire body shivered at Ram’s blunt remark, which had been spoken behind his back.
Whether it had been a joke or not, Subaru had no clue. It was likely it was, dare he say that her lofty attitude was probably just a façade. Even though only a short while had passed since meeting her, it was probably in her nature to wish not to show any weakness to people.
In the end, it would not surprise him if she just wished to erase her embarrassment from the time when Subaru had seen her frail side.
Anyways, whether Echidna and Julius’s reasoning was correct or not, that one possibility was worth considering.
Simultaneously, Subaru also had a thought regarding his memory loss. That was――
Subaru: [To put things plainly, both of your opinions, regardless of whether they have a nugget of truth within it, I’m against grasping at straws here. Even if we’re like sort of just floundering around, I don’t really get the feeling that the memories I lost will be found, you know.]
Emilia: [Do you have anything as grounds for thinking so?]
Subaru: [Just a hunch. Besides, if this is really part of the Tower’s Trial then maybe if we clear them I’ll get my memories back, right?]
Emilia: [――――]
Subaru wagged his finger left and right as Emilia and the others exchanged looks in response to his words.
However, they hadn’t reacted negatively to his thoughts out of doubt. Rather, there was a trace of hope beginning to appear on their faces.
Firmly, placing her palm on her chest, Emilia began to rapidly nod.
Emilia: [Yes, that’s right. If Subaru’s memories have been slurped up by the Tower, then surely they may be returned after completing its Trials.]
Subaru: [The expression you used, “being slurped up”, I get quite the super-cute feeling from it, but that’s the spirit, that’s the spirit!]
Emilia: [Mhm, that’s the spirit!]
Subaru smiled in relief at Emilia as she had jumped up and made a cute triumphant pose.
Beatrice, who had been looking on, shook her head in exasperation,
Beatrice: [Geez… I really don’t understand which one of you is the one being encouraged, in fact.]
So, she let that out like that.
Certainly, with this, their positions were opposites―― however, Subaru thought that was fine.
After all, he had found some hope in this situation, and some of the vigor had returned to Emilia’s eyes. For that, Subaru had felt quite a great sense of relief.
Such a gloomy face did not suit a young lady like her. Besides, she had been worrying about Subaru from the depths of her heart. It was quite painful to think that he’d been the reason behind making her look so gloomy.
Subaru: [And I was the one who showed such a move on a woman way out of my league…]
Beatrice: [I have no idea what he is saying, but for now we will adjourn finding Subaru’s memory, I suppose. So if we are to complete the Tower’s Trials, we should do as Meili suggested and go upstairs, in fact.]
Subaru: [Upstairs. So, you said we are on the Third Floor now, so the next floor up is the Second.]
As he said that, Subaru looked around the Library. A room that he’d surveyed more than plenty, even without having actually walked around it.
A room with nothing in it except bookshelves. Meaning there were no stairs that led up.
Subaru: [Where’s the staircase that leads to the Second Floor?]
Julius: [It is located on the Fourth Floor. There is a staircase there that leads up to the Second Floor from there…]
Emilia sneaked a look towards Julius, with a concern plastered on her face. Seeing her, Julius knitted his eyebrows and said, “Worry not”,
Julius: [I will not act rashly without consulting any of you like yesterday. It is as I promised at breakfast. However, even had I not done so…]
Ram: [Reid, the First Generation Sword Saint, is a very powerful opponent. Now then, what do you suppose we should do?]
Julius and Ram exchanged bitter looks. And those that seemed to share this feeling was not limited to just those two; everyone at this place had a similar look on their faces.
Or rather, other than Shaula, who had grimaced like she had put something in her mouth that was not just bitter, but poisonous.
Subaru: [Ah, sorry. What do you mean, Reid?]
As usual, it was Natsuki Subaru that had been left behind in this situation.
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――The First Generation Sword Saint, Reid Astrea.
That was the name of the man who guarded the Second Floor of Pleiades Watchtower as its Trial taker.
In the first place, the title of Sword Saint was something Subaru had heard for his first time. However, when he had heard that he was of the First Generation of this lineage, he got the premonition that this man could be likened to a powerful fictional character from his knowledge of these subcultures.
That expectation of his was not betrayed, and in fact these Sword Saints or whatever were extremely powerful people.
It seemed that yesterday, having challenged Reid, the party had experienced a difference in strength between them much alike the difference between an adult and a child.
Amongst them, that only Emilia had achieved some sort of victory through both skill and luck, was a big deal――
Subaru: [The problem is that I’ve lost my memory and I can’t even do anything useful…]
At the breakfast table where everyone had been trying to distract themselves from their uneasiness, he had tried to think of a novel idea to clear the Tower with a bang. As far as he knew the Trial on the Second Floor seemed to require pure strength. In this situation, there was no place at all for his guile or knowledge of the modern world.
Subaru: [I guess scattering some flour about and attacking him with a dust explosion or something like that ain’t gonna cut it…]
His strongest signature ability, Dust Explosion; he would need to fine-tune quite a large amount of flour to activate it. In the first place, Subaru did not have the courage to scatter an abundant amount of flour in a situation where food was scarce.
In fact, it was unknown to him whether there was any flour at all here.
Subaru: [Hm, then I hope I can activate the secret cheat ability that I must have gotten from being summoned into this world.]
Subaru punched the wall next to him with his palm, yelling out a “Ha!” in an attempt to see if he could activate it. There was no shockwave emitted from his palm, nor had the stone wall he had punched shattered into little pieces. The only thing he felt was the roughness against his palm, and a somewhat hollow pang in his heart.
Unfortunately, the secret cheat ability that had been given to Subaru seemed to not be related to great physical strength.
He placed his hands on the wall and kicked it with all his might. All that resulted was that he had unexpectedly left a footprint on the place he had kicked the wall. As well as a stubbed toe. Off the mark yet again.
Subaru: [Well, it must be magic! Beatrice, tell me how to use some magic.]
Beatrice: [Magic, Subaru can never use that ever again, in fact.]
Subaru: [Ever again!? Why!? Did I dabble into a forbidden spell or something!?]
Beatrice: [You used too much beginner’s magic despite being told not to use it and it broke your Gate, I suppose. That’s why Subaru will never be able to use magic again, in fact.]
Subaru: [It broke from using beginner’s magic!? So lame!]
Subaru had the urge to cry out to the heavens for being an unimaginable failure, having heard that he indeed had possessed magical powers, but could not use them anymore to live life as a mage. And worst of all, it had been the casting of beginner’s magic that had destroyed his magical gate.
Regardless of his loss of memories, Natsuki Subaru’s life in a different world had started from the very bottom.
Subaru: [Guess at least my saving grace is that I’ve been blessed with people.]
Clenching his hand into a fist, and then unclenching it, Subaru felt these emotions along with a profound sigh.
Even if it was rather one-sided, it was relieving that there were people here who knew him. Without them, he would have been alone in this unknown world without any special abilities. To be honest, he did not think he was skillful enough to survive without any support.
So, finding himself here was a salvation―― Even if it had made someone’s face sink.
Subaru: [――――]
Gulping, Subaru bent and stretched on the spot.
He had checked the condition of his body, of his magic, and whether he had any special abilities.
They were in some impromptu free time before they went up to the Second Floor. Whilst Emilia and the others were making the arrangements to challenge the wall that was the Second Floor, Subaru was busying himself in checking whether his body had been endowed with any special abilities.
After punching and kicking the wall, after being indignant about being told that his magical ability had ran dry, after running around the Tower’s insides, after thinking on how to test for special powers from various directions, Subaru had realized one thing.
That was――
Subaru: [That maybe, I haven’t received anything…]
After sprinting through the hallway, whilst slightly out of breath, Subaru had accepted this fact.
He felt like he possessed more physical strength than he did before. Even when he had kicked the wall he felt as if his hips’ suppleness was different from what he remembered. However, it was not to be confused for special powers, rather it would be more accurate to say that it was the same consequence of the scars on his body, and his grotesque-looking arm. In other words, it was probably due to what had happened during the year which Subaru could not remember.
The only ability he possessed was the to merely be an ordinary person who could not even respond to his parent’s expectations. Something that would have attained after a suitable amount of endeavor.
He could not feel the grace of special abilities granted to him by a so-called “God”, there.
Subaru: [At first, I’d tried to do some transformation poses…]
He had tried Super Senshi poses, then Kamen Rider poses, Pretty Cure poses, and even Sailor Senshi poses, but they had all been ineffective.
Meaning that, in the end, he was the type of parallel world visitor who had been thrown in here with nary a thing.
Subaru: [After all of that, my only hope is that my powers awaken when I am in trouble… fuck.]
Scratching his head, Subaru bit down the seeds of anxiety that were starting to grow in his heart.
In front of Emilia and the others, he would have steeled himself and pretended that everything was okay, however, when looking at the situation anew, there was nothing but anxiety regarding Subaru’s position.
His memory was gone. There was no longer any doubt about it.
There was too much evidence pointing towards it, and to be honest, he really wanted to believe it. He couldn’t not believe it and continue to stay in this place.
He wanted to stay here. Here in this world, only here right now. So, he wanted the power to do that.
Subaru: [In the end, I have to depend on the bonds I have made with people I don’t remember. Makes me wanna cry.]
Natsuki Subaru, who was always mooching off stuff, did not have any changes to him, even in this parallel world.
The more Emilia and the others showed how earnestly they were worried about Subaru, the more Subaru cursed himself for being blessed with his borrowed position.
Subaru: [It’s not like I’m gonna be able to do anything at the Second Floor…]
That was why, in his heart, he had refused to be left behind.
After they had explained to him about the guardian of the Second Floor, Reid Astrea, there had been some disagreement among Emilia and the others on whether to bring Subaru along to the Trial.
It had been Emilia who was most concerned about bringing him along, and the others, albeit not as vehemently as Emilia, were a bit reluctant on having Subaru accompany them. Subaru, on the other hand, wished to accompany them. It seemed that they had thought that he would be unlikely to be of much help to them in conquering the Second Floor, and they had also mentioned that Reid Astrea’s temperament would be harmful towards him.
Therefore, had it kept going like that, Subaru was going to be left behind――
Subaru: [――Still, I insisted on going with them.]
The reason why they had tried to leave Subaru behind was because they were worried about his body.
Being treated so gently with concern always on their mind felt delightfully poisonous to Subaru, right now. Had he been the Natsuki Subaru with his memories intact, he was sure that he would have accompanied them and that there would never have been such a discussion on whether he was coming or not.
It would be unlikely that his amnesia would influence his abilities. In other words, except for the lack of knowledge, Subaru had thought he would be able perform the same tasks as he did before he lost his memories.
Hence, he had tried one way or another to prove it to them, but in the end he had not achieved any results.
Subaru: [Although I asked Beatrice to leave me alone, from here on out the going’s going to get tough.]
He recalled the little girl’s sullen face in seeing that Subaru was about to be left behind.
However, he had still asked her to leave him be to try to ascertain whether his secret cheat ability was something physical, magical or skill-based. After she’d left, Subaru had tried out the transformation poses.
After all, it would have been extremely embarrassing to test these poses in front of another person. Beatrice of course had been quite unyielding, and Subaru recalled how he had argued back and forth with her.
Beatrice: “If Subaru is left alone, you’re going to end up losing your memories, nothing good will come of it, in fact! Betty will not move from here even with a lever, I suppose!”
Subaru: “I’m glad you feel that way, I’m totally grateful, but I’m about to do some stuff that I can’t show to anyone!”
Beatrice: “Between Betty and Subaru, such distance isn’t needed, in fact!”
Subaru: “No, I will be getting naked to put on my moonlight make-up!”
And so, he had tried to break through to her with a brute-force approach, zealously appealing her to leave the room.
Eventually, seeing how nothing was working, they had managed to sort out things, with Beatrice receiving his strong, strong appeal, that he would not do anything unnecessary, and would without fail, join back up with her.
Subaru: [Although it doesn’t ring a bell, I was told I was her Contractor, on that point, it seemed like it was going well with Beatrice. Doesn’t sound like me… was that actually really me?]
Grimacing a little, Subaru pulled out something from his waist―― the whip that had been holstered there, and lashed it out, attempting to hit the wall with its tip, but instead only succeeded in hitting his own leg.
Subaru: [Oww…! I guess my body doesn’t remember how to use it…! Or, maybe I didn’t master its use before losing my memory…?]
Having hit his own shin, Subaru’s eyes began to tear up in pain as he rubbed it.
In the first place, why had he chosen a whip as his weapon of choice? It was not a sword, or a gun… was he trying to be cool and unique picking a whip as his weapon?
Subaru: [If I’d been able to use it, then I guess it must mean that it’s not just the stuff inside of my head that’s gone missing?]
While rubbing his shin, Subaru mulled this over as he knelt, his face twisting into a scowl at the chance that it really would not be salvageable.
If his current reasoning was indeed correct, what was left for him, here?
He had lost his memories, made those he was supposed to accompany worry, lost everything he had worked towards, and became useless. Ultimately, with only history having been etched onto his body, and merely the outer shell was set in place.
Guess he was just like papier-mâché.
Subaru: [Ha.]
With a short sigh, Subaru got up. Those words that were floating in his brain were so silly that he wanted to guffaw at them.
What are you going to do now, you papier-mâché…?
When wasn’t Natsuki Subaru a papier-mâché?
Subaru: [Ah, I give up, I give up. I’m an idiot. Maybe I’m just unmotivating myself…]
Subaru brought his fist to his forehead in frustration and sighed again, bending over to pick up the fallen whip. He did not understand how to put it back to how it was―― struggling a bit, he finally managed to somehow put it back on his waist.
As he did so, there he saw a blister on the palm of his hand―― one that was different from those he got from swinging a kendo sword, one that made him feel the year that had gone by. For some reason, he traced it with his tongue. It felt tough. It felt bitter.
Subaru: [I wish I’d kept a diary for this occasion. This is no use.]
Subaru started to walk away from the scene, fuming at his past self in irrational anger.
He had been unable to confirm the presence of any secret cheat abilities, but in a sense he could say the fact he could not was a trove of information. With this in mind, he concluded that he should not rely on something that did not exist.
In a way it was a little bit positive, but way more of a negative.
Subaru: [Well, this isn’t the right way…]
Subaru had gone the wrong way and found himself on another floor.
In front of him was a large spiral staircase―― an abnormally long spiral staircase which led to the lower floors of the Tower.
He had heard that the Tower consisted of six floors, and that to ascend from the Sixth Floor to the Fourth Floor one would have to climb stairs that possibly went hundreds of meters high.
Subaru: [Thinking about it, the way this Tower’s structured is peculiar… it’s like being in a fantasy world story now.]
It was a world where foliage could treat your injuries one’s by being within. Besides, in his original world, there had been some buildings which seemed to be beyond human understanding. Pyramids were one example of such a phenomenon.
Thinking about it hard enough, then maybe there was not much of a difference between this Tower and the pyramids.
Subaru: [I’m looking for things in common between this world and my original world, did the past “me” do this too?]
Subaru began to feel ridiculous at having referred to himself as the “past me”.
He felt as if he had slowly been going crazy ever since losing his memories. In essence, there had not been a Subaru before or was there a Subaru after losing his memories. The past and the present too, his-self was all one continuum.
So, here too, Natsuki Subaru was――
Subaru: [――Oh?]
Subaru shook his head much like trying to shake off the thoughts that had clouded his mind, and let out a small sigh.
It was truly a nonchalant sigh.
He had exhaled it completely unintentionally, despite having received something much more unexpected.
It was no more, and no less than that.
However, at the same time he had let out that breath, he had felt a slight push on his back.
Subaru: [――――]
And as he let out that sigh, which was tantamount to no more than that, the world was flipped upside down.
Subaru: [Ah?]
His feet were off the ground―― No, not just his feet. His whole body was.
His whole body was detached from firm soil, he was falling down midair, losing sight of heaven and earth, overwhelmed by a feeling of weightlessness.
Engulfed by the sensation of lightness, the existence that was Natsuki Subaru, fell.
Subaru: [Wha?]
The fierce sound of wind whistled through his eardrums.
He did not understand. He did not understand anything. Right now, Natsuki Subaru was falling. He was falling. Spinning round and round in midair, as he fell down head-first.
Falling, falling, falling, and as he fell, his thoughts caught up to him.
Still falling.
Subaru: [Waaait, wait, wait, wait――]
The world revolved in his vision. His limbs were flailing in midair. He did not know how many seconds had elapsed, but finally Subaru understood what had happened.
Falling, he was falling. He was going to crash. He would hit the ground after falling from above.
He was swallowed by darkness as he fell past the spiral staircase. As he looked around desperately to all around him, Subaru could only see the Tower’s stone walls flowing past him at high speed―― No, the walls were not flowing past him. As he fell down head-first, Subaru’s field of vision had been inverted, so it was in fact him who was sweeping past them.
The sensation of tumbling down caused him to retch, chunks of vomit flying out from him.
Subaru: [――Geh.]
His throat clogged with vomit, Subaru was unable to even draw breath.
His nose stung, tears of pain were streaming out of him, and his organs felt like they were all in the wrong place; his whole body felt like a chaotic mess. His face, clothes, and surely the floor would have ended up flecked with vomit.
Emilia would be shocked. Beatrice would get angry at him. Ram would just coldly stare at him. Julius would give him a tired sigh. Echidna would shrug her shoulders. Meili would laugh. Shaula would point at him.
With such a feeling of frustration, Subaru had completely lost track of his own reality.
Even if he searched everywhere, he would not find it. Not up in the sky. Not within himself. Where had it gone? Where was it?
As well as his memory, he had also lost himself.
Subaru: [Mom.]
Natsuki Subaru fainted just as that acrid mutter escaped from him.
His consciousness halted, his thoughts blurred together, and then――
And then――
And then――――
And then――――――――――――
Hard ground.
※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※
???: [――Subaru! Hey, Subaru, are you okay?]
As he woke up, the first thing he heard was her chiming, silver bell voice.
He could feel her breathe near his face and her fingers on his arm. Sensing this, Subaru roused himself into consciousness, and slowly opened his heavy eyelids.
――In front of him was a frighteningly good-looking fairy of the moon.
Subaru: [Is this Emilia-chan…?]
Emilia: [Oh, Subaru, thank goodness. You woke up. I was really worried about you.]
Hearing Subaru speak, the girl at his front―― Emilia, stroked her chest with a relieved look on her face. Subaru looked around the room in shock.
He was in a room completely covered in ivy, even the bed he was lying in woven from ivy. Emilia was gently patting her chest in relief, and right next to her stood a beautiful little girl with drills.
???: [Emilia, if you continue to be so gentle to him, Subaru will not reflect on his actions, I suppose. If you don’t say it more severely, Betty and the others’ worries won’t get through to Subaru, in fact.]
Emilia: [I guess you’re right. But I’m surprised Beatrice would be saying that. After going into such a panic when we couldn’t find Subaru, you were almost in tears when you found him lying there…]
Beatrice: [You don’t have to mention the part that dispenses mentioning, I suppose!]
Beatrice turned away from them, her face reddening in anger at Emilia’s innocent remarks.
Subaru, who was watching this exchange, looked on in confusion.
Subaru: [Eh? What? Was it a dream?]
Beatrice & Emilia: [――?]
At hearing Subaru say that, both Emilia and Beatrice turned towards him.


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