Arc 6, Chapter 35 – “Thin Ice Relations”

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???: [――Subaru knows how painful it is to be forgotten. So, forgetting someone, he would never joke about something like that.]

Subaru: [――――]

On their way back to the room, Subaru inadvertently held his breath when heard the voice from inside.

Even though he was unable to see the speaker, he knew from the voice, beautiful like a silver chime, that it was Emilia. Listening to her say his name in her slightly tense voice, Subaru could not avoid straining his cheeks into an awkward smile.

Carried within that voice was a powerful trust, and an equally powerful plea.

It was from Emilia to “Natsuki Subaru”. And certainly not to this “Natsuki Subaru”. He acutely understood this now, as he had in the previous exchange[1].

Ram: […Would never joke about something like that. Yes. Never thought I would say this, but Emilia-sama is right.]

Also hearing that voice, Ram, who accompanied Subaru, whispered this self-derisive comment under her breath. Unlike Subaru, who was carrying the water-filled bucket, she was empty-handed and holding her elbows, her nails digging into her white skin.

Almost like a reminder to herself, a regret, and an extension of the pain of an unfulfillable vow.

Subaru: [Ram…]

Ram: [It was just a pointless joke, forget you ever heard it. It will only worry Emilia-sama if you bring it up. So, for the sake of Ram’s impeccable reputation, keep it to yourself. If you dare mention it…]

Subaru: [――――]

Ram: […It seems you, really don’t remember.]

If he dared mention it, something scary would come to pass. That was probably what she was trying to say. Or perhaps, she had been expecting Subaru to counter with a quip before she did so.

Just like before, when the connection between her and her younger sister had been brought up, he thought he saw a glimpse of disappointment flashing across her pale-red eyes. But that sadness disappeared in an instant.

The fact that she would not let him tell anyone, was it because Ram was too strong for that, or because she was too weak?

He did not know what lay in the depths of her heart.

Only, faintly, on the center of Subaru’s own chest, there was still a lingering trace of where her head had rested.

Ram: [――My apologies for keeping you waiting. We have returned.]

Without giving him any time to think, Ram resumed her steps and headed into the room. That stubborn attitude might just be Ram expressing her insistence on the matter. Seeing this, Subaru had no choice but to respect her feelings and not mention the matter.

When Subaru entered a few steps behind her, a somewhat strained atmosphere spread throughout the room.

But even so, it was still a tad better than immediately after Subaru made his shocking revelation.

As proof of that, after Emilia greeted the returning Subaru with “Thanks for the hard work”, the next voice that followed was――

Julius: […Earlier, I showed you an unsightly side of me. Would it be fine if we start over?]

Subaru: [Oh, ohh. I’m the one who surprised you with… Ahh, no, I shouldn’t have interrupted you. Please go on.]

Julius: [There is no need to be so restrained. If you are so formal with me, I will not feel at ease.]

Saying this, a faint smile emerged on the purple-haired youth―― Julius’s face.

Earlier, he had been the one who had turned pale at Subaru’s revelation. Subaru was unaware of what Emilia and Beatrice might have told him while Subaru was gone fetching water, but he seemed to have recovered enough strength to speak.

Only, there were still the words Ram said to him in the corridor―― Upon being asked about Julius, she told Subaru that he was too cruel. Just what could she have meant by that?

Julius: [Let us start again, I am Julius Juukulius. This is Anastasia-sama… I serve as her Knight. And you… are like a friend, of sorts.]

Subaru: [I see, nice to meet you… But, why did that last part not feel very confident there?]

Julius: [Unfortunately, we might have had a slightly different understanding of our relationship. I myself think of you as a friend, but as for what you think of me, that is…]

Subaru: [Literally lost to memory, huh.]

Julius: [――That is, quite true.]

Picking up a certain elegance in his words and conduct, Subaru bent his lips.

According to Emilia and the others, this was journey into treacherous environments―― so, naturally, as the only other male member of their company, there must have been considerable trust between them.

But then again, considering Julius’s knightly air and their exchange just now, even without memories, Subaru could imagine his previous self having made a terrible first impression.

Emilia: [It’s alright, there’s no need to worry. Subaru and Julius are reaaally good friends. We were there, so we can all attest to that.]

Meili: [That’s right, there’s no reason to be so worried about this, is there? Knight-onii-san’s already got plenty of other problems to worry about.]

Watching their exchange, Emilia cut herself in with her hands on her hips, and Meili mockingly concurred with a mischievous look in her eyes.

Whereas Emilia’s words were purely out of concern for Subaru and Julius’s first meeting, Meili’s seemed to be insinuating something entirely different altogether.

Subaru furrowed his brows when he heard this, while Julius nodded as if having understood her meaning.

Julius: [Why, yes. What Meili has said is correct. Subaru, although we do need to discuss what happened to you, it is not the only problem we are presently faced with. In this regard, please allow me to explain.]

Ram: [This, would it be related to Anastasia-sama’s strange behavior this morning?]

Julius: […Your observation is correct, Miss Ram.]

Ram said this, leaning against a wall, and Julius slightly cast down his eyes in reply. Seeing this, Ram narrowed her eyes towards Anastasia, and let out a small sigh.

Ram: [Barusu, give me the water bucket. I will begin preparing the meal.]

Subaru: […Aren’t we about to discuss something important?]

Ram: [I will be still in the same room. So I can still hear everything… Working will help take my mind off of things.]

Brusquely saying this, Ram snatched the water bucket from Subaru’s hand and headed towards the luggage-filled corner of the room. Then, they saw her slender back setting about exactly that task.

Emilia: [Sorry. Ram, she isn’t usually like this…]

“Anastasia”: [Of course, there is no need to mind. It is understandable that she would feel this way―― Seeing the desired information one could not wait to pull out of another’s throat suddenly fly so far away, anyone would feel this way.]

Anastasia calmly shook her head to Emilia’s apology. And, hearing Anastasia’s reply, both Emilia and Beatrice made a difficult expression.

Subaru was not cognizant of what might have crossed their minds―― but the answer to that soon came from Anastasia’s own mouth.

“Anastasia”: [Now then, even though after all the confusion this morning, I would honestly do not wish to burden you with any more surprises… I do think that keeping it hidden would only sow the seeds for discord down the road. Therefore, if your accepting soils would permit it, allow me to confide something in you.]

Beatrice: […Such a pompous and roundabout manner of speech, in fact. Hurry up and get to the point, I suppose.]

“Anastasia”: [There is no need to be so frightened, Beatrice―― One could say we are as close as sisters, you and I. In fact, it is just as you guessed.]

Beatrice: [――――]

Beatrice’s cheeks froze at Anastasia’s words. Standing beside Subaru, as if naturally seeking something to rely on, the young girl’s fingers lightly grasped onto Subaru’s sleeve.

Subaru cast her a side glance, and after some hesitation took her hand. The tips of her fingers were faintly quivering from the shock, but soon, the small palm accepted this warmth in turn.

“Anastasia”: […Your relationship with your Contractor is indeed amicable and ideal. I wish I could have had the same perfect relationship with Ana, but unfortunately, it is not going so well.]

Emilia: [You’re addressing Anastasia-san like you’re talking about someone else. So that means, you’re…]

“Anastasia”: [Ah, yes, you guessed correctly―― Right now, the consciousness inhabiting this body is not Ana’s. Anastasia Hoshin is sleeping deep inside this body. And the one addressing you now would be something of a deceased ghost that has temporarily taken over this fleshly form.]

Emilia’s breath choked up, and Beatrice held tighter onto Subaru. Julius’s face was covered with pain at her confession, and Meili still looked bored as ever. Only Shaula, sitting cross-legged beside Meili, was completely aloof to the conversation, with her attention solely focused on Ram who was preparing the meal.

With her back turned, no one could make out Ram’s expression as she continued about her work. Lastly, for Subaru――

Subaru: […What are you guys talking about, I didn’t get any of that.]

Left all the way behind, naturally, he could only make a difficult expression.

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――The body of the girl named Anastasia Hoshin was now dominated by an entirely different existence, while her own consciousness was in deep sleep.

Simply put, that was what Anastasia―― or rather the Spirit by the name of Echidna, had explained.

It seemed that fact had been quite shocking to Emilia and Beatrice, while for Subaru, rather than shock, it only served to exacerbate his confusion.

Subaru barely had any impressions of Anastasia in the first place. And then, being told that the person who had been described as Anastasia upon first meeting was actually someone else,

Subaru: […I-is that so. That’s, hm. That’s pretty big news, isn’t it?]

He could not exactly give a reaction in a way other than like it was someone else’s affairs.

No doubt, it was only from the reactions of those around him that he figured that this was a pretty serious situation. After all, they had come to this Tower for a reason.

It was in order to find a way to save the sleeping girl, and to help those people struck with some unknown disease, that they came here―― Or at least, that was what he had been told.

Ram: [We barely just got here and the key people are already falling apart… Barusu dropped his memories somewhere, and Anastasia-sama’s consciousness is deep in the abyss…]

Subaru: [Ugh, doesn’t look good at all, huh…]

Listening to Ram’s blunt remark, Subaru dejectedly held his head.

The problems were just piling up―― Subaru had not even sorted out his own mess, and more difficulties just kept coming. They were going nowhere. In that case――

Emilia: [Everyone, I think even if we hang our heads like this, we won’t solve anything. I understand the frustration, I do… but, we can’t let our spirits down.]

Everyone: [――――]

Emilia: [A lot of people’s hopes are riding on us coming to this Tower. What happened to Subaru and Anastasia-san, that’s a big deal. But…]

Emilia stopped her words, clapped her hands together and gathered everyone’s attention to herself.

Then, after pausing a beat, she scanned her amethyst eyes over everyone present,

Emilia: [We can’t stop here―― We must not give up, that’s what I’ve always been taught.]

Emilia said this firmly as she looked at each member’s face in turn. Her gaze lastly fell on Subaru, who held his breath as he was pierced by their amethyst charm.

Naturally, his chest heated up. He did not know what to say. But he could see the expectation in her eyes. Receiving it, and feeling like he must do something, Subaru tightened his fist.

Beatrice: [Ow! That hurts, in fact! Hey, Subaru!]

Subaru: [Ah, my ba… No, not bad! Because this is proof of my determination!]

Beatrice: [Even if you say that with a straight face it still hurt when it hurt, I suppose! Reflect on your actions now, in fact!]

Subaru: [S-sorry. Hurting you was my bad. But my determination was not! Yeah, that’s right!]

Subaru apologized to Beatrice’s protests that her delicate wrist was being squished, but he quickly shook his head.

He could see that the situation was worrying. But simply worrying about unsolvable problems would not make progress at all. Subaru knew this from personal experience, in fact.

If Subaru were alone, he would certainly have lost his way. But, he was not alone. Even if he had forgotten everything on his end, Emilia and the others were still there for him to call upon. And so――

Subaru: [It’s true, my memories slipping away all of a sudden has caused you a lot of trouble, I’m sorry about that, but that doesn’t mean it’s hopeless. Think of it another way. Who knows, maybe now I’m freed from the unnecessary fetters and ready to burst out with new ideas like a fresh spring or something. Then that might give us a clue on how to break out of this mess, doesn’t it?]

“Anastasia”: […That’s, quite a progressive take on it.]

Subaru: [Would you rather go backwards instead? All the important things are ahead of us. They say the Goddess of Fortune only shows her bangs, you know? Besides, when it comes to capturing this Tower, maybe we’ll need to come up with a more flexible idea. One that isn’t confined by the conventions of this world, like, an idea from another world!]

Anastasia wryly smiled at that momentous remark―― or rather, Echidna was pushed back by an even more momentous retort. Even though he was just bluffing, what he said was right, and there was a need to break out of the current atmosphere.

Listening to Subaru’s thoughts, the difficult expressions on everyone’s faces began to change.

Emilia: […Mhm, that’s right. Subaru has always gotten over all sorts of trouble like this. So, this time, he’ll definitely get us through it too.]

Subaru: [Ohhhh! That’s the spirit! Though that kinda sounds like I’ll have to do all the work here, but since you’re counting on me, I’ll do my best. Such a cute girl is cheering me on, after all!]

Emilia: [Thank you, Subaru―― Mm, I’m glad. Subaru is still Subaru, after all.]

Subaru: [――――]

Hearing Emilia’s whisper as she put a hand to her ample chest in relief, Subaru was almost caught off-guard.

――Subaru is still Subaru, after all.

Hearing her sigh of relief from the bottom of her heart, Subaru felt relieved as well.

He thought that it was alright. Little-by-little, this self would be able to fill the hole left by the Natsuki Subaru she knew. If he could do just that, then he should be able to smooth over all the jumbled relationships here.

Julius: […Well well, that sure is optimistic.]

Subaru: [Huh?]

Just when Subaru was relieved by Emilia’s words, Julius suddenly interrupted. Sensing Subaru’s gaze, he shrugged, and loosened his lips with “Nothing”,

Julius: [I just thought, memories or not, it is still as impossible as ever to tell whether you are brave or reckless. On the other hand, perhaps you would only think this because you have forgotten the enormity of the obstacle we are facing.]

Subaru: [Hey, why’s there always some sarcastic attitude from you? Unless… No way, is that just your true nature? Julius-san… I mean, just Julius.]

Julius: […I see. It’s just as Emilia-sama said, memories or not really does not matter. One’s nature is not so easy changed.]

Subaru: [I guess I can kind of imagine what kind of relationship we had now. We must be more comfortable with each other than anything else, huh.]

They were not harsh words of malice, but an exchange of friendly jabs. Nevertheless, Subaru was convinced that there had been a certain sense of distance between them.

His initial impression had not been erroneous. Subaru and Julius must not have liked each other very much on first meeting. But afterwards, through various things they had experienced together, their relationship must have improved to the point where they could travel to this Tower together――

Subaru: [Then I’ll be counting on you, Julius. Until I get my memories back, I’ll trouble you for a little longer.]

Julius: [Yeah, it cannot be helped. Then I will resignedly accept this as my duty―― Memories are just a trivial matter. I see… that’s right.]

Julius quietly nodded to Subaru’s friendly address, and the topic ended there.

His memories had been lost, and problems just kept coming. This definitely was not a situation one would greet with a sunny disposition, that was fact, but to face it nonetheless was a testament to his strength.

Julius: [When the person in question is not all that concerned, perhaps that is a grace as well.]

Subaru: [I just don’t show it, there’s actually a whole storm churning in my chest right now. But, I’ll take the opportunity to get healed by some alone-time with Emilia-chan later.]

Emilia: [――? You want a lap pillow?]

Subaru: [Ah, uhm, no. I’m sorry. Isn’t that uh… a bit rushed?]

After saying so with his chest pumped up and bright mood, Subaru suddenly shrunk. Not expecting Emilia to be so willing to give him such tender healing, his heart started cowering in fear.

Moreover, it would be a lap pillow. Naturally, his gaze fell onto her soft-looking white thighs――

Ram: [It’s ready. Come help carry it, Pervusu.]

Subaru: [Ouch!?]

Feeling something kick the back of his knees, Subaru let out a wail on the spot and collapsed to the floor. All the while, Ram looked down on him with a look of disdain, as if chastising him for his indecency.

Ram: [Your useless positivity is one of your only virtues, Barusu. Use that positivity to set up the food. As well as for cleaning, tidying, and various other chores.]

Subaru: [That’s, just because Ram wants to slack off…]

Shaula: [Ohh! Master, I’ll help as well! F-o-o-d! F-o-o-d!]

Subaru’s protests regarding Ram’s forceful transfer of responsibilities were immediately drowned by Shaula’s pressing desire for sustenance. Seeing Shaula beginning to carry out the plates, Subaru had no choice but to join in the preparations.

Subaru: [Let’s see the menu… that kinda just looks like preserved rations.]

Ram: [In fact, they are precisely preserved rations. The few fresh foods Emilia-sama brought over have already ran out. So the diet will be quite bland in the foreseeable future.]

Subaru: [Well, hopefully we can capture this Tower quickly and get back to somewhere more populated.]

He had heard someone say that people’s hearts would only be at ease once ample food and clothing were available. In that sense, he was unsure just how well they could live in this Tower.

Particularly in regards to food, with his memory absent, Subaru’s only impression of this parallel world’s cuisine was the taste of preserved rations. Which was rather miserable.

???: [Sorry to bring this up while you are eating, but there is something I want to confirm with you, Natsuki-kun.]

Subaru: [Hungry, hungry… What, me? Something you wanted to ask me?]

Roleplaying as someone who has been treated like a slave and given nothing but miserable scraps ever since he was summoned to this parallel world, Subaru protested against the injustice. But he stopped eating upon hearing Echidna’s words.

“Anastasia”: [It is nothing, but while I apologize for bringing this up this when everyone is united in facing our situation positively, I would like Natsuki-kun to share a bit more with us about what happened to him. After all, your memories were the only ones that has been affected by this Tower. Conversely, who knows if the same thing might happen to any of our memories as well?]

Subaru: [Right, makes sense. Even though having the person involved do it might be a bit difficult, amnesia can be pretty inconvenient, you know.]

Beatrice: [The way you said it make me wonder if you really see yourself as being involved, I suppose…]

Seeing Subaru nod in agreement, Beatrice could only manage a baffled expression.

However, Echidna’s concerns were reasonable. And truth was that Subaru also needed to know how he lost his memories. The clues to restoring his memories must be tied to how he had lost them in the first place.

Subaru: [――――]

At the table, to Subaru’s right was Beatrice, and to his left was Emilia. Those two were at his side when he woke up―― he wanted to know just what kind of memories could have prompted them to sit there of their own accord, and to place in him such baseless trust and warmth.

――Or rather, it was that he needed to remember, because it was his duty.

Subaru: [But still… from what I was told, I woke up without remembering anything… Emilia-chan and everyone, where exactly did you guys find me?]

Emilia: [Well… You were nowhere to be seen in the dragon carriage this morning, and we couldn’t find you either in any of the rooms on the Fourth Floor, so we got pretty worried…]

Subaru’s curiosity was piqued by the expression “dragon carriage”, but he did not open his mouth in fear of interrupting Emilia’s story. Perhaps, it was the lizard in the Green Room―― it had something to do with that ground dragon. They did look like the type you’d see from a horse-drawn cart. He would have to put off his curiosity in wanting to see the real thing though.

Beatrice: [Betty was not at her wit’s end as much as Emilia was, in fact. I was just bothered that I couldn’t figure out where you, my Contractor, was within this strange Tower, I suppose. That’s why I went with her to search around the Tower for you, and after that…]

Subaru: […And after that?]

Emilia: [We found you collapsed in the white Library on the Third Floor, and then brought you to the Green Room.]

Subaru breathed out a “Ahh”, after hearing Emilia and Beatrice’s joint explanation.

Julius: [The Third Floor is one of the many floors within this Tower. We are presently on the Fourth Floor. We are going through them trying to reach the First Floor, which is the top-most floor. That we have already made it past the Third Floor… was thanks to none other than your knowledge.]

Subaru: [Thanks for explaining… Thanks to my knowledge, you say?]

Julius filled in for the missing details. Even so, for Subaru, the contents seemed to be quite lacking in credibility. Nevertheless, in reply to Subaru’s reaction, Emilia continued where he’d left off with a “Yeah.”

Emilia: [That’s really how it happened. All we heard was gibberish, but you were able to solve it all by yourself Subaru… you were reaaally amazing.]

Subaru: [Hahaha, thank you… Hey, no one says “gibberish” these days anymore.]

Emilia: [――――]

Subaru: [Did I say something weird?]

Though Subaru had tried to awkwardly compliment Emilia, she remained silent as if something was up with her. For a split second, he could see the traces of some strong emotion flicker across her eyes, yet he had no idea what it meant.

At any rate, he could not keep up with them, as if they were ripples rippling through a pond.

Subaru: [By the way, you said that I collapsed and that you brought me to that grassy room…]

Beatrice: [That room is protected by a special Spirit. That Spirit has the power to heal people’s wounds… That is why we’ve laid Rem down there too, in fact.]

Subaru: [Okay, okay, gotcha. So, that’s why you also brought me there… By the way, what are the chances that I lost my memories due to that room?]

Emilia: [Well, umm…]

Subaru batted one of his eyes shut as Emilia faltered in response, looking like she had not thought of that.

Though this was only a hunch of his, regarding the intentions of this Spirit or whatever, while those may be unknown, if it took the form of a plant, then he could not discount it having some kind of cruel nature.

Flowers were pretty and filled with sweet nectar to get insects to carry their pollen. But they could also be like carnivorous plants who camouflaged themselves to snare in insects to slurp the life out of them.

It could have slurped his memories out of him instead of healing him―― there was a chance of that.

“Anastasia”: [It is quite the wild idea, but I heavily doubt that. In that case, something weird would have happened to me first far quicker, considering I have been in that room far longer than you have.]

Subaru: […That something strange hasn’t got anything to do with the original body’s owner not waking up?]

“Anastasia”: [Regarding Ana, that happened before we came to the Tower. Her condition has nothing to do with the Green Room. And also, that is correct… the ground dragon in the room has not forgotten about you, correct?]

Subaru: [Huh?]

“Anastasia”: [That ground dragon is awfully attached to you. Suppose, for argument’s sake, that the Spirit in the room had a bad habit of slurping out people’s memories, don’t you think she would have probably given you the cold shoulder?]

Following Echidna’s words, Subaru recalled the ground dragon that had nestled up to him just after he had woken up from slumber.

For sure that ground dragon had been extremely friendly towards him. If the reason behind that was because she had originally been his ground dragon, then that made complete sense. Though, what she had stated also surprised him.

Subaru: [That Ground dragon is a she…?]

“Anastasia”: [Let’s get back on topic. The chances of that room working such wickedness on you are not high at all. As far as I am concerned, it is the room you collapsed in that is far more of a problem. All of you said he came to in the Library of Taygeta on the Third Floor, right?]

Emilia: [Yeah, that’s right. Subaru was collapsed on the white floor, in that room…]

As she reflected on that moment, Emilia gripped her wrist tightly.

Emilia: [I carried you to that room all in a rush, and then tried to go call everyone, but…]

Beatrice: [Subaru woke up during that time and found himself in this condition, in fact. Therefore, it would be difficult to imagine that the Green Room did this, even timewise, I suppose… It happened in that Library, as I thought.]

If something had happened, then this Library or whatever was the source behind it.

It seemed like they had reached a common point of view, but Subaru did not really get it. Perhaps because it was hard for him to imagine what kind of room this division they called a Library really was.

Subaru: [Erm, Taygeta? What kind of room is this Library of Taygeta? The name sounds somewhat familiar…]

Julius: [That Library is a room containing the Books of the Dead.]

Subaru: [The Books of the Dead… Hey, that also sounds like some chuuni[2] schtick.]

Shelving aside his interest for the name “Taygeta”, Subaru sunk his teeth into the use of the term “Books of the Dead”. Seeing his reaction, Julius gave a curt nod and then continued to speak, saying “We have no concrete confirmation…”,

Julius: [But in this Library, there are myriads of books bearing the names of people from all around the world who are now deceased. To read the books, you must be qualified to do so. It is most likely the kind of thing where you can only read the books about the deceased you had some connection with.]

Subaru: [Again with the bad taste… What is written in those books?]

Julius: [The life of the respective deceased, more or less. Intense thoughts swoop through your mind, as if they were being scorched in. It is really not a matter you want to put yourself through over and over deliberately.]

There was a weight to Julius’s words in his explanation, which could only have been expressed by one who had personally experienced this sensation.

It seemed to Subaru that the memories of the dead were not something he wanted to have scorched into his mind. To put it frankly, experiencing this sort of shock was not something he was keen to do. Then, if he had collapsed in a Library where such experiences were possible――

Subaru: [Was I reading one of those books too when I collapsed? No way, so could something like that have damaged my mind?]

“Anastasia”: [I cannot completely rule out the possibility. About that, Sage, what do you think?]

Shaula: […Are you perhaps talking to meee?]

While nodding at Subaru’s guess, Echidna turned to face Shaula with a meaningful look in her eyes. As well as that meaningful look, Sage was a really disproportionate way of referring to her.

Were he to speak without restraint, Shaula looked like the furthest thing from a Sage in this room.

Shaula: [No matter how many times you say that my answer’s not changing! I don’t know anything about the Tower, except its ruuuuules! I was just told to be strict with rulebreakers. No matter what Master does in the Tower, I ain’t got nothing to do with it!]

Subaru: [I don’t know why Shaula’s calling me something like Master in the first place, but…]

Ram: [Be relieved. Barusu’s response is the same as before his memories were lost. You are just using this without saying anything because it is convenient for you… So gross.]

Subaru: [You can’t just jump to such a convenient conclusion!]

Faced with Shaula’s gaze, Subaru couldn’t help but express his bewilderment, which with no word of exaggeration showed a MAX level of affection.

Sure, it might be nice to get close with such a glamorous beauty when he thought about it ordinarily, but not knowing where her favor was coming from only created more confusion in him.

Besides, her affection and favor made him feel strangely uneasy. It was something fundamentally different to the sincere feelings Emilia and Beatrice showed him.

Though he didn’t know currently whether this was a harmful effect of his memories being gone.

Subaru: [In any case, that Library you mentioned feels suspicious. If you’re saying there might be clues in there that will get my memories back, then I reckon it’s worthwhile going there to check.]

Julius: [Yes, we should. Our situation is one that even in the best of times we have had one problem after the other. The problems that plague us have seldom been few. Besides, with the circumstances becoming like this, you must honestly realize…]

Subaru: [Realize what?]

Julius: [――Just how much you have been making up for us.]

With his eye still closed, Subaru let out a small snort at Julius’s words. His laugh hadn’t been out of awkwardness, but a strained one that came from deep within how he felt. They were really overestimating him. Armageddon must be nigh, for them to be relying so much on Natsuki Subaru.

Bad things came in threes, and once again Subaru had been made aware of how much of a hindrance he was, a trait he had averted his eyes to; it was as if he were saying, “You have become a considerable burden”.

Subaru: [Anyways, I’d like to go to the Library after we finish eating and if the memories I lost are scattered about there, then I’d like to go pick them up and stuff them back in my mind.]

Emilia: [Geez, that’s an odd way of putting it… It’s so just like Subaru.]

Subaru: [I’m guessing the way you’re saying it’s just like me isn’t really a compliment, right!?]

Emilia gave the flustered Subaru a small smile as she said that. The atmosphere around the place relaxed just a tad as he received it.

They’d come up with a plan and it felt like they were, in true sense, moving forward a bit.

“Anastasia”: [I am sorry to interrupt you when the mood’s like this, but there’s just one more thing I want to inquiry Natsuki-kun with.]

Subaru: [Well, you can go on ahead now that you’ve said this much. What is it?]

“Anastasia”: [Well, this is merely a curiosity of mine which is not at all related to your memories, or capturing the Tower, but despite that…]

Echidna began to stroke her wavy hair, and with an adorable look on her face, compounded by a look of deep intelligence in her turquoise eyes, she asked.

“Anastasia”: [What does that term you speak quite often of, “parallel world”, mean?]

 

Translation notes:

[1] An interesting thing here is that the first “Natsuki Subaru”, referring to pre-Chapter 33 Subaru, is written in Katakana (ナツキ・スバル), while the second “Natsuki Subaru” is written in Kanji (菜月・昴). An addition to this observation is that throughout Subaru’s First Trial in Sanctuary, Subaru’s name is often written in Kanji compared to Katakana, contrary to what happens everywhere else in the story.

[2] “Chuuni”, also known as “chuunibyou” (中二病), or literally translated as “middle two disease” or, alternatively, “middle-school second-year disease”. Well-known term to describe kids in middle school who have delusions of grandeur, like special powers. It even has its own Wikipedia page!